Challenge #01730-D269: Comeback

Deep fried Mars Bar. The dreaded chip buttie (fries on a buttered bun), Floater (Aussie effort: Meat pie floating in pea soup). -- KnitNan

"I've been everywhere," said Shayde, mis-estimating the size of the station by cubic klicks[1]. "Nobody around even knows what fries are an' I'm gaggin' fer a chip buttie."

Nik, overhearing this complaint to the universe at large, gestured her to come closer to his cooking station. "Tell me about these things you call 'fries' and the... chip buttie."

Rael set his eye cam onto record to get all the details. There was no way to tell when something could be cross-checked by the Archivaas. Some research had revealed that 'fries' were a pre-Shattering staple, but nobody knew how to make them.

"Ye got potatoes?" asked Shayde.

What followed was an education. Potatoes were peeled, washed, sliced and the slices were turned into prisms. All while Shayde lectured about loaded potato skins and curly fries and the corrugated ones 'ye got at the chippie in Bwlchgwyn, ye ken'. About how to pat them dry and coat them in a light dusting of flour before immersing them in boiling hot beef tallow.

That last part piqued Rael's interest. He'd heard of people cooking in tallow, but he'd never witnessed it happening.

It also gained Nik's interest, since he had a near encyclopaedic knowledge of cooking techniques throughout the histories of multiple worlds. "I had thought the deep frying process had switched to coconut oil by the date you mentioned."

"Oh aye, everywhere but Bwlchgwyn. The old feller there refused tae do it. Best chips I ever et." She jiggled the basket, checking the prisms within. "Na fer the buttie, ye need a regular ole white bread bun, a lot of butter, and some burger essentials."

"BLT?" asked Nik.

"O' course BLT. We ain't savages. And squares o' plastic cheese." Which prompted another half-hour explanation.

There were three of them when they were done. One each for Nik, Rael, and herself.

Rael examined his, and speculated that early humans had to be able to unhinge their jaws. The ground beef patty was generous, as were the multiple layers of bacon and the thick slices of tomato. And, on top of the burger's inherent generosity, Shayde had sandwiched a minimum of two layers of the freshly-made fries into the creation.

Not limited by physical constraints, he took a bite. Shayde squashed hers a little flat before she did so to hers.

Pre-shattering humans had the best food before their own health regulations intervened.

And then Nik asked a nearly-fatal question. "Any other treats you know about from your time on Earth?"

Shayde took a deep breath of doom. "Let me start wi' th' meat pie floater..."

[1]: One thousand Standard Distance Units is named a 'klick'. Blame the humans.

[Image (c) Can Stock Photo / nicknacks]

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