Challenge #01672-D211: Friendly WelcomesteemCreated with Sketch.

in fiction •  2 years ago


"Oh, and if you have to ask yourself, is [Person] fucking with me? The answer is always yes,” he says, and ahead of them [Person] cackles and gives a little fistpump in the air. -- RecklessPrudence

Most humans, when elevated to the status of Ambassador, acquire an air of caution. A weight to their words as if they know that they hold the fate of their homeworld in their hands. Almost all of them approach becoming an Ambassador as cautiously as they would approach a beanbag stuffed with angry, venomous snakes.

And then there's the N'Oz Ambassador Yani Diakui. There have only been three occasions, so far, during her tenure when she was not smiling, and one of those was when she dropped off to sleep during a particularly dull part of the Meet. For the rest of it... the people she stopped smiling at definitely found themselves in deep trouble.

N'Oz is a Class Five Deathworld. Mess with its residents and you're sticking your hand into a bag of scorpions. That said, the N'Ozzies are easily the coolest and most collected members of the human colonies. If it only wasn't for that thing of, you know, living on a Class Five Deathworld...

There's also the annoying N'Ozzie habit of Bullshitting. Telling tall tales without one hint[1] that they might not be any kind of factual. Even the highest-trained veriseer[2] has difficulty discerning when a N'Ozzie is Bullshitting.

Thusly, when the freshly-minted Ambassador for Nucalli had been listening to Ambassador Diakui for half an hour... he turned to his Galactic aide and asked, "Is she fucking with me?"

The aide in question regrettably answered, "Sadly, Ambassador Diakui can be assumed to be... 'fucking'... with everyone."

Ambassador Diakui cackled and pumped her fist in the air. "Too right," she cheered.

[1]: One unconfirmed hint is that the tale-teller frequently uses phrases like, "straight up," "no lie," or other vows of honesty.

[2]: An Esper with the ability to tell what is the unvarnished truth.

[Image (c) Can Stock Photo / photoroman]

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