Challenge #01657-D196: Spiteful Ascension
Depression Tips: Kill the gods and eat their flesh to rise above human chemicals into horrifying immortality
...Sounds more feasible than “just think positive!” -- RecklessPrudence
People around Lase would later swear that they all heard it when she snapped. A lifetime of hearing people say, "Just think positive," will do that to you.
"You know what?" she said. "I'm going to summon an Elder God, kill it, and drink its blood so I can rise above the need for mortal chemicals. It'll certainly be easier."
Dave, who suggested every other hour that Lase just think positive, backed away from her cubicle. "Geez," he said, "I was just trying to be helpful..."
Lase began reciting unearthly words whilst pointing at Dave's heart. As for what happened next... nobody was ever quite certain. There was a lot of blood, after the fact. Lots of it was a brilliant purple. There was not a lot left of Dave, a fact that was considered something of a bonus amongst the rest of the office. Though the loss of his life was regrettable, everyone agreed that Dave was an arsehole to everyone at work.
As for Lase... for weeks, there was no trace of her. Just a scorch mark where she had been sitting. People put flowers on her desk and hoped that she had found a better place. Then, just as they were about to hold a memorial, she Manifested.
She was simultaneously glowing white and a void in reality. Burning hot and cold enough to solidify neutrons in the palm of her hand. She was terrifying and terrific. I am come for all, she said. I am the goddess of the unequal. Champion of the underdog. Woe betide any rich man who does not pay their employees a living wage.
Bob the Bastard Boss had the nerve to speak up. "Now, that's a little unreasonable. We can't really afford to pay--"
If you cannot afford to pay your employees, you cannot afford to have a business, spake Lase, new Goddess of the Downtrodden. The IRS knows you. Knows your tax evasion. Your assets are being seized. Your trophy wife is filing for divorce. Your shares will plummet in value before you can call your broker.
"Wait! No! That's not fair."
I worked five jobs just to be able to pay the rent and eat. How many zeroes are in your paycheque? Lase spake unto him. Do not talk to me about 'fair' until you have sold all that you own in order to live another day. Her blazing eyes froze his heart, but only metaphorically. That is what you voted for, is it not?
"Yes, but..."
Because you never thought it would happen to you, spake Lase. Tell the board that they have seven days to readjust the wages. If they fire a single employee, they will be cursed.
It took three days for images of Lase to find their way into every office space in the world.
[Image (c) Can Stock Photo / mcgill]
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Wonderful post. :)