Challenge #01650-D189: Not the Usual Madness

And so tired of the Mad God's priestess falling for Hero du Jour and grabbing the priceless treasure and buggering off to live with Hero type. So! what if your Mad God was just annoyed that "Nobody Listens to Me!" - random thoughts on popular Barbarian fiction. -- Knitnan

The temple of Sargax the Mad God was silent. Eerily silent. The walls were furnished in sculpted felt and the floor was made out of cork. Nidrus the Mighty could not still the noise of his armour as he made his way through the quiet corridors, well aware of how the metal plate protecting his body clanked and rattled with his every step. And he was also well aware that the sound from his armour didn't echo back from the soft walls.

There were no soldiers. No bloodthirsty demons. No acolytes bent on killing him. No eldritch monsters. There were rather a lot of Faerie lights to illuminate the temple. But then, they were the only known light source that made no sound. There were no doors with hinges to creak. Merely baffle upon baffle of thick curtains made of Anteludian Spider silk. A fabric also noted for its sound-deadening qualities.

Nidrus journeyed onwards down the snail-shell spiral of the temple. There was no sign of any treasure, but there was always treasure in the centre of a Mad God's temple. Usually after a pitched battle to rescue a high priestess from human sacrifice. But there was nothing like that here.

The felt and the cork were dyed reasonably attractive colours. There were no skulls. No black, no bloodstains. And, when he got to the lowest point of the spiral, a central room that contained no treasure and no sacrifice pits or bloody altars. The high priestess was naked, so things might be looking up.

Nidrus cleared his throat.

"Shut up," ordered the High Priestess. "You and your armour have already made far more than enough noise for the day. I can't hear Him because of you." You, pronounced, the worst thing that has ever happened to me in my life or anyone else's for all time and space.

What?

"And breathe quietly. There's still a chance."

Nidrus the Mighty did his utmost to stand still and breathe without a noise. Now that he had the time, he took in the details. How sound from everywhere funneled into the room. How the High Priestess' hair was cut so short that it would not brush her ears nor make any disturbance to the soundless atmosphere. Even the idol in a niche in the circular wall was made out of needled felt.

Someone, somewhere, rang a triangle. Once. The High Priestess sighed and put on her own Antedeludian Spider silk robe. "It is time for meals and free speech. So I can now explain what this temple is for."

"It's... a Mad God's temple. There's murders and treasure," said Nidrus, a little disappointed.

"We carry the vows of poverty, chastity, and silence," said the High Priestess. "We're the Listening Order. Do you know why Sargax is mad? Did you ask?"

"Uuuh..." said Nidrus.

"Nobody listens to Him. So here, we do our best to listen. And you spoiled my time in the Chamber. You ruined my devotion. Now fuck off. And try to do it quietly."

[Image (c) Can Stock Photo / feelphotoart]

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