This can’t be happening to me, Von thought, as they tightened up the ankle straps and there by securing him to the bed that best resembled an ambulance stretcher.

It was a sterile whitewashed room with a bright overhead light, similar to a surgeon’s operating room in the ER.

The silence in the room was unnatural.

Von lay there motionless with his thoughts racing and replaying what led up to this point.

Von Voligny was a graduate student at a Midwestern University. He had only barely squeaked by in his undergrad work in Sociology and had applied for grad school only after a disappointing three year long job search.

When Von first signed up for a Sociology degree he had no plan on how he would use it.

In his young starry-eyed mind he would have his own office, plenty of work, and a big paycheck to spend on his whims.

However, he was not entirely sure what exactly a Sociologist did or why he wanted to be one.

He had vague notions of a doing research, finding out patterns of society, and publishing headline grabbing results.

The main reason Von stuck out his education was a lack of anything else of interest to do. It was always assumed that once the young Voligny finished high school, he would be off straight to college. No one stopped to question the status quo, Von least of all.

After the whirlwind that was college, Von tried his luck at emailing various research firms his resume and sought out work the best he knew how. The first year yielded dismal results. Von recalled how everyone said you could get any job as long as you had your degree. And Von had a degree. So naturally he should have a job.

This delay was inconvenient at first, but became pressing as the grace period on his college loans came to an end, yet he was still unemployed.

Von began seeking work outside of his desired field, but found he had even less experience needed for the other lines of work, lacked certifications that restricted his entry to these other professions, or altogether didn’t quite have a clue what the other professions actually consisted of any more than he knew about his own.

After his third year looking for work, Von came to the lame conclusion that maybe he just needed more education and then he would get work. That’s what led him to apply for graduate study at his alma mater. He did his best to brush up on all areas of study before he registered for the GRE and come test day Von was only mildly confident that he would be able to pass. Although the test was complicated, Voligny passed with a fairly average result, to everyone’s surprise.

The first semester of grad school was a bit rocky, but Von had a strong determination.

He felt like he was at the end of his rope and this was his last chance.

He was still as clueless on what he wanted to do as he was the first day after high school. However, he was in over his head in college and credit card debt and was now more concerned about how he was going to get out of that rather on how he was going to be successful.

Mostly Von just was glad to get through each day and let his tired head drop onto his well-worn pillow.

One day in his second semester, Von struggling to pass his classes, joined a study group from class. They had a big exam the next day and were going to pull an all-nighter at the campus library. As the hours worn on, Von struggled to stay alert.

The small group of four each had their share of empty coffee cups strewn about the table as they persisted into the wee hours of the night.

But the coffee came with a cost. Von’s bladder became full so he got up and stumbled towards the bathroom.

Rick, one of his study partners got up and followed him, needing to use it too.

“You’re not looking too good, Von. You gonna make it?” Rick inquired.

“Yeah, I just am not used to studying this long,” Von replied. “Guess that’s why I never made too good of grades.”

“Well you know sometimes you just gotta push through,” Rick went on, “but at least you don’t have to do it alone.”

“Yeah, I do appreciate you guys helping me study,” Von responded innocently.

“Huh? Oh haha,” Rick chuckled, “I see what you mean. What I was talking about is taking something to help out. You know keep you focused, something more than just coffee.”

Von just stared blankly.

His half-asleep mind tried to make sense of what exactly it was that Rick meant.

“Here try one of these,” Rick offered, holding out a small round pill.

“No thanks,” answered Von.

“No really, here take one. I’ve got plenty,” Rick insisted.

Von thought it over.

Well what’s the worst that could happen?

I really need to get this material down and I’m running outta time before the test. Besides it would only be this one time and next time I can start preparing more ahead of time and not get into a jam like this again.

Von stretched out his right arm with him palm upward and open. Rick dropped the small tan pill into his hand and Von tossed his head back as he slapped it into his mouth and swallowed it quickly.

Nothing changed.

Well that was stupid Von thought.

The two returned to the group table and resumed their study. About thirty minutes later Von began to notice that he was not as tired as he had been earlier that night.

I must be getting a second wind Von surmised.

As his focus increased, so did Von’s confidence in understanding the material. The four of them stayed at the library until seven that morning when they all parted ways to get some much needed breakfast.

Von was pleased when he got his test results back.

It wasn’t the “A” he was hoping for, but a high “B”.

It took a lot of work and Von was proud of the grade and his effort to achieve it.

Feeling confident, the next time around he studied on his own, but this time it was met with dismal results.

An “F” was not going to help his get out debt faster he thought after getting the bad news.

Maybe there was something to that Adderall after all.

@strangerarray

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