Hanging From My Rearview - Preface - Part 2
William and Ally began courting and over the next few weeks they met up and enjoyed each other’s company. Ally smoked weed and was quite the free spirit, which was part of why William liked her, not to mention that shiny disco ball of an ass. As their relationship blossomed, William went to meet Ally at the Zimmerman Library on the University of New Mexico campus. She was studying for finals and hadn’t eaten yet. William was eager just to be around Ally. Since she sounded like she may be hungry he decided to make her one of his famous quesadillas, which he wrapped in foil in preparation to take it to her while it was still warm.
He arrived at the university when she had just finished studying and the two of them ate in a secluded place in the library. She devoured the quesadilla and remarked about the unique way it was made. It quickly became one of her favorite meals. Afterward, he walked Ally to her car and they shared an incredible first kiss. He asked her if she would like to be his girlfriend and she agreed. After exchanging another short kiss, they parted ways that night and William was overrun with feelings of joy.
Ally’s laid back and playful attitude towards life was refreshing to William. As a result of the altercation with Jenny, William was still awaiting a court date. Ally was amazing and supportive about the tenuous situation. She listened to William’s side of the story and truly couldn’t believe what Jenny had said. Ally stood by William and even went to the court hearing with him. The entire time up until the hearing Ally and William shared their lives with each other. Since Ally smoked weed, she totally approved of William’s involvement with the plant and the fact that he sold it was just a bonus. Because of that fact she almost never had to pay for her habit. William always made sure she had enough to smoke.
When the court hearing came, William was exonerated from the charges of domestic violence but was found guilty of disorderly conduct for being involved in an argument in public. This resulted in William receiving another six months of probation. William began his probation and that ended his use and sale of the high grade cannabis. With his experience on probation, he knew it wasn’t worth the stress of trying to circumvent the system and continue smoking cannabis. William began smoking this substance known as “spice” because the probation office didn’t have a drug test for it at the time.
He had experience smoking this substance from when he was on probation while dating Jenny. The thing about this substance is that it is made with research chemicals usually designed to mimic other illegal mind-altering substances. When the substance was first released, the research chemical it contained was very similar to the active ingredient in cannabis, THC. William would soon find out that this version of the substance was more potent and that it could produce some very unpleasant side effects.
William also met somebody during this time. His best friend who was like a brother to him had started dating a lady who had the same name as one of William’s previous women, Jenny. William did nothing special to attract attention from her but Jenny fell for William. Out of respect for Ally and his friend, William told Jenny that nothing would happen between them and he dubbed her Jenny #2. She liked William so much that she immediately told his friend and then broke up with him. Jenny #2 would end up playing a major role in William’s life choices but for now she would just casually flirt with him whenever she had the chance.
Ally and William had been together about ten months and the end of his probation was on the horizon. William did not know that Ally held aspirations to become a public defender in New York or that she wanted to live a lavish, luxury lifestyle. This information came in the form of a surprise breakup just one week before William’s time on probation was completed. She complained that William was moody and thought that he might be bipolar. William couldn’t believe this news as he was unaware that he was in the process of having a psychotic break from reality. Later he would find out that this was one of the side effects of using the spice substance. At the time of the breakup, he was lost in his own head.
The psychosis was most likely caused by the spice substance but there were also a lot of other factors that came into play as well. William’s mother had been diagnosed with cancer in the previous years and already had some surgery. William’s father was a poor communicator and told him that she was going under the knife for more surgery and made that particular surgery seem like it was the most threatening of the surgeries his mother needed. When, in actuality, it was a follow-up surgery to the major surgery she already had. Then his father lost his job. William had been living back at home with his dad during the years of probation. His father had helped to support him when he was unemployed. Currently, William worked for two local bars as a bar back. It was October and Halloween was rapidly approaching. His father had already made plans to visit William’s mother during the month of October.
Despite the fact that his parents were still married, William’s mother lived in Oregon because her health prevented her from being able to handle the elevation in Albuquerque. She had moved away from him and his father after the cancer diagnosis which was around the time that William had started the first round of probation the one he was on while dating Jenny. His dad’s job loss came right before his father was scheduled to leave to Oregon for a visit. As his father was leaving, he told William to locate all the valuables in the house because it might be necessary for them to be sold to keep living at the house. This house was the house that William’s family had lived in for twenty plus years. The amount of stuff accumulated was ridiculous.
William did his best to maintain for the weeks that his father was gone but he lost it. The breakup, the job loss, and getting off probation combined with the psychosis caused by the spice all forced him to snap. It was still a couple nights before his father would return and William had resolved in his head that suicide was the only option. Life had just become too much to bear. He grabbed a Ginsu knife from the kitchen. As a fan of Kung Fu and martial arts, William decided the best way to kill himself was to perform seppuku and disembowel himself liked a failed samurai warrior.
(To be continued...)