Would you rather kill or confess your love?: A response to @chemmy's "Is it proper for a lady to ask a guy out?
@chemmy’s post looks into the stipulations of patriarchal societies concerning friendship and marriage. Patriarchy operates in such a way that the duties of a man and woman are constructed. Patriarchy regulates the life of individuals: How they should behave, react, things they should do. Patriarchy opts for an ideal world where the hand is the head and the woman is the other.
Hence, she says “From my perspective as an African woman, I feel since we live in a patriarchal society, we should leave it to the guys to do it.
Many African ladies would likely go with the same point of view; this only shows that the theory of feminism is running into extinct. Because Ladies are not or maybe are not able to see themselves as equal to the man.
A point she stated was because “I believe that most men would not respect a lady they did not pursue” Hence, the man !sees the lady as cheap and something not worth his respect! But as a woman how expensive are you? What determines your worth? I would love your answer to be that you are priceless.
Gone are the days when a woman is cheap because she expressed her feelings first. How expensive are your ideas? How rich are you intellectually? What do you have to offer him apart from your features? Its high time Ladies know that a man looks beyond you asking him out before he dims you as cheap.
As far as I know, Time has not started to freeze. Hence, a girl asked a guy out on the 14th of February 2020, doesn’t mean they would remain in that hour forever. So for the rest of the relationship, how have you improved him or yourself? How have you made yourself indispensable to him and yourself: morally, psychologically, spiritually, financially, mentally etc. Why won’t a man respect you with all these? And continue to judge and disrespect the lady till his dying day because she asked him out?
Yes! Men love hard to get but really there is no difference if it comes too late or too early. If a sensible man loves a lady truly then he won’t think of leaving her because she accepted late or because she accepted just the moment he asked her out. We have gone past those times, I strongly believe.
My post does not concern girls who throw themselves anyhow at guys but the different ones who know what they want and go for it.
“I also think asking a guy out would make the lady look desperate and most guys would laugh as such lady”
This statement does not only appeal to ladies since when some guys make love advances, they also appear desperate and a lot of guys have lost count of the number of times girls made fun of them when they ask them out. Guys also get screamed out angrily when they ask a girl out and she isn’t willing to accept. So that applies to guys too.
If a girl asks a guy out, he either declines or accept and so is it for the female.
We all claim for equality, and then what is wrong with ladies also wanting to enjoy the thrills of wooing?
@chemmy states “I have heard stories about how some ladies asked some guys out and even though the guys agreed to it, it did not work out fine at the end of the day”
The relationship failed for other reasons and not because the girl asked the guy out. Countless relationships have failed where the guys did the asking out. Who did the asking out doesn’t determine how long the relationship would last but rather it depends on who you are, the thoughts that grow in your heart.
The guy might have accepted the girl just to use her, let us not also forget that guys have asked girls out just to use them.
Why should a girl keep her mouth shut and die inside because the society says she shouldn’t confess her feelings? It is nothing to be ashamed of, if women clamour for political and religious rights, if they even go as far as beating up their husbands, if they go on other deadlier ways of revolting against oppression such as killing their husbands, stabbing their husbands, committing abortions, cheating on their husbands, divorce, leaving the kids to suffer . . Which one should we be ashamed of?
Would you rather kill or confess your love?
If you want to know where I stand, Yes, I would ask a guy who I truly love. If he doesnt accept, guys have been declined but I am jewel and I am golden.
@chemmy writing is very rich. It shows that the modern African woman is still chained. It shows that indeed Feminism as a movement suffers from a mental disorder.
It portrays patriarchy as a leprosy that feasts on our skin and continues to rid us of our freedom and not just only women suffer from this! Men and Women!
We are all victims!
This post has received gratitude of 1.00 % from @jout
You got a 0.33% upvote from @postpromoter courtesy of @jout!
Do you have a third option? :)
So after reading this post, I had to go check your blog and discovered you are such an amazing writer. Beautiful pen strokes to pass your message accurately. BTW, it is not wrong for a girl to ask a guy out but i will say that a girl who either has no moral standard that she will fight for debarring surrounding circumstances or that one lady with low self esteem should not give it a try. These two factors eventually puts the girl in a disadvantaged position if the guy isnt forthcoming in some situations. Every guy will die for a lady who knows and understands her cores (core values). Meaning, asking a guy out shouldnt change your standards or put you in his pocket like a piece of shit. He will eventually treat you just the same way you present yourself to him.
@mimy, I doff my hat for you. Thanks for taking @chemmy's piece and making it a masterpiece. And me, I am jeje on my own. Why would I ask a guy out? Am I high? Guys are really not worth all that stress and effort.
But this is just my own opinion oooo. It's not like it counts. But good work here.
Thanks to the feminism "movement", a lady like @cheemy Now has the freedom to express her thought in the social media.
In spite of the great damage the patriarchal mentality has done to Africa in the past, I believe our women are out more and more as the day goes by showcasing themselves.
I can't agree less with @mimy however that mordern men are only on the lookout for "all round valuables" from a woman. He'll count himself extremely lucky if he finds you exceptional in all ramifications irrespective of who "talks first".
Thanks @ehiboss for sharing.
I'm Tomfreeman!
Huh??
I don't see anything wrong if a girl ask a guy out.... FYI this is the 21st century... Let her shoot her shot!
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STOPLol. Nice one dear. I love your points... but I still would not dare ask a guy out no matter what.
'I am jewel and I am golden', amazing, yes! Thanks for this post (: