"Happy International Women's day" to all amazing women out there

idowu-kunlere (46)in #feminism • 7 years ago (edited)

About a year ago, my wife and I visited with a close family who had just welcomed their first baby at the University College Hospital (UCH), Ibadan, Oyo State, Nigeria. (UCH is regarded as the most sophisticated public hospital in Nigeria).

Today as always, we celebrate all the women in our lives

We got to the hospital and had to walk to meet the new dad somewhere at the car park where he was catching his breath after the marathon exercise of climbing the 1001 staircases at UCH.

At UCH, while expectant mothers are being attended to by highly experienced doctors, their husbands almost always break down from the excruciating run around that they are subjected to.

It's anxious enough to have your wife in the labour room, herself a first time mum, anxious like you. At such times, as first time parents, you both need to savour that moment and be calm.

But at UCH, (with the lift often out of service or unavailable due to high traffic), by the time you, the husband/expectant dad, "poyi" 50 times, from Ground Floor to floor 4, to pay Point, to Emergency Ward, to Kunle Ara Pharmacy, to everywhere, including to buy just one syringe five different times and to buy "Bojuri", your body go know how far.

Some have propositioned that at UCH, expectant dads are purposely made to go through all that pain to teach them a lesson or make them experience what their wives go there! If that's true, I don't think that's right. I should write about that another day. “The suffer no be here”, like we say in pidgin..

But back to my story.

As we were about to enter the car park gisting away, a security man accosted us, doing "fine bara" (begging alms). He was forming all nice and almost prostrating asking for a tip. He said he hadn't eaten all day. He looked spent and broken. Since I was to use the ATM as I had the cash I had on me, I promised him I would give him some money on our way back so he could buy himself something.

Just after I said that, from afar, my wife saw the new dad coming from a distance and excitedly whispered into my ears, with a big smile lightening up her face. The security man noticed she said something to me but I guess he didn't know what that was about. What he said next was revealing.

"Sista, e ma dasi oro wa, awa okunrin la n soro". Meaning, "Sister, don't interfere in our discussion, we men are discussing". Then, he added, "Ibi tawo okunrin ba ti n soro, awon obinrin ma n dake ni", meaning "When men are discussing, women should keep quiet".

Small minds despise women. Great minds honor them

What? I looked straight into his eyes, and he gave me a look as though expecting me to side with him and validate what he said! That I realised he meant it. Really?

Of course, I cut him some slack. "You shouldn't speak to a woman like that, let alone, my wife", I fired at him. That was rude and unacceptable, I told him.

That you are a man doesn't give you the right to talk first or shut women down! Being a woman shouldn't mean being relegated to the background. No. What earns you the right to talk first, or at all, should not be because you are a man!

Substance (quality of thought), not gender, should drive conversations!

Dear Woman, never be scared to celebrate your uniqueness

In any case, this is someone that could have graciously given you lunch for the rest of the month, or even year. He felt utterly embarrassed and didn't wait to receive his due recompense.

I wondered where he learnt that from. And I wondered how many other wrong things about women he had learnt from his past.

You are beautiful, inside and outside, woman

Like that man, there are many men (and sadly, women) out there, wrongly brought up to silence women. That's not minding the fact that the women they try to silence, are often better off, and make far more better contributions!

*Happy Women's Day"

Today, we celebrate all our women. Thank you for refusing to be shut up by men who feel threatened when you succeed! Thank you for making our world beautiful!

Image credit: Pixabay