We need you to act on our behalf, because when you do that, you are also acting on behalf of men, women, and every gender in between.
Kind of a vague call-to-action. What exactly is it you want men to do?
We need you to act on our behalf, because when you do that, you are also acting on behalf of men, women, and every gender in between.
Kind of a vague call-to-action. What exactly is it you want men to do?
Speak out when you see something that women would hope that you "agree" upon in conversation. If a women opens up to you and tells you that she feels like men treat her as an object, make sure you see it the next time it happens in context. It really won't take long before you encounter it. You can't be that much of a shut in not to notice if you really start looking. Why am I vague? Because the context is vast and overarching. It's everywhere. It's when a little girl of 3 is being praised for being beautiful while her four year old brother is being praised for his "bravado" whatever that is. It's when I walk down the street to go to work and I am called out by strangers for being "beautiful". Don't call that a compliment, because I'm sure you are never called out on the street,
"Look at that sexy man, look at his smile" they don't even address the woman when they "compliment" her, so much as they talk ABOUT her OUT LOUD in PUBLIC. It's everywhere. It's not vague. Just pay attention.
Edit: Omar just pointed out to me that a lot of Steemit users may not be from the US, which is where this problem is highly prevalent in the context that I've outlined, so if you are from a different country, then I apologize, and wish to convey that this is a problem that is clearly prevalent throughout the US.
I really dislike the lumping together of women and men. This is collectivism. I am an individual. People like different stuff, some of it has to do with biology/psychology. I don't think all women agree on the same issues.
I speak out when i disagree with something, not when some group wants me to.
I don't get called out on the street. No. But I think women are different in flirting behavior than men. I get looks. Doesn't phase me. I don't feel threatened by that.
Omar was right, I m not from the US.
I won't go white knighting for women. I respect them so much, and think they are equal to the point that they can deal with people talking about them themselves.
As far as speaking out when you disagree with something, it's very likely that you would feel the urge to speak out if you were living in the US and experiencing these issues first hand. We are in a position where men are already in power. For a woman to speak out effectively results in being pushed back down by that power that we are trying to share with men. It's disgusting over here.
I've been called out on the street since I was only 13 years old. And this is daily, unless I didn't go out on a certain day. I don't want to hear that argument that blames women, either, saying that the way we dressed was the reason we were on the receiving end of lude comments starting at only 13 years of age. I was in high school. I wore jeans and a t shirt. I didn't wear make up (I still don't). And even if I did decide that I wanted to look polished, it's still not an invitation. EVERY DAY. Can you imagine? And my experience is not uncommon. Hell, I'd hear these nasty comments while I was crossing the street WITH MY GRANDMOTHER.
You say you aren't phased or threatened by the looks you get, but had you been born a female, you'd automatically be at a far greater risk for being physically overtaken. I only recently noticed that men don't realize the fear women have in their gut when they go out in public alone. We go out in groups because it makes us safer. We hold hands and go to the restroom together to make sure that no one gets knocked out and dragged into the alley out back. We feel intense fear because we know that rape is not only a possibility, it is RAMPANT and VERY LIKELY. More than just being disgusting, cat calling is threatening. It frightens us, and then men often laugh and ridicule our fearful retreat and continue to call out and leer long after we've left their line of sight. They continue to strike fear into us because they know we can still hear them.
Honestly, of COURSE you don't feel threatened!
My point in this whole post is that women are not seen as people by men (and oftentimes, other women). My point is not to tell men everywhere that they need to take action now, it's to tell men that women need their support. And that support can come in a variety of ways, which I'm sure you could come up with on your own. I shouldn't have to tell you how to make a woman feel safer, validated, or human in times when others are making us feel less.
But again, I realize that this problem may be far more prevalent in the US than in your country, so I hope you understand where I'm coming from as well, and I do realize that this may not even apply to you. =)
If you feel threatened, i suggest you take up martial arts.
I get what you are expressing. I really do. I just think the FIRST step should be to work on your own reality, and not the whole world.
Has worked great for me. I'd be interested to hear how it goes for you.
Also, what did you get called out for?
Training all women to defend themselves from physical harm is a bandaid. We need to teach the aggressors to stop.
I got called out for being "hot", "sexy", "beautiful", "gorgeous", "yummy", etc.
I can't force the other people within my reality to change. I don't understand how you propose that I work on my own reality, short of ignoring the men who dehumanize women within my immediate vicinity.
To go back to that phenomenon where you don't feel threatened by looks, but most women do... Why can't you agree that this information was enlightening to you? Or did you already know that and choose to sweep it under the rug?
I understood it like this: most women feel threatened by looks, because they fear getting raped. I get that.
Now assume you knew how to defend yourself. And you knew that if the lusty looking man were to make a move on you and you just choke him unconscious. Would you still be scared?
How are we supposed to change the aggressor? How are YOU supposed to change another person? It's impossible. One can only control ones' own actions.
Assume it became known that rapists get the shit kicked out of them by their potential victims. Do you think that would not deter them? I think it would.
Same as, I don't go rob a bank where I know all customers are armed. I go where guns are not allowed.
So. My conclusion is: from what you wrote I take it that you get scared. I get that. You feel helpless. But the only thing YOU can do is arm up. Learn the techniques.
Yeah I would probably still be frightened of the need to get into a physical altercation.