Discomfortable

As I sat on a park bench by the beach this morning recording a video for my new Youtube channel, I became aware of a stranger in my vicinity. In an instant I went from comfortable and open to uncomfortable and withdrawn. I call it discomfortable...
Yes everyone, one of the most self conscious people around is starting a Youtube channel, yikes! Just the thought of it scares me, what will people think? Will they like me? Will I make a fool of myself?
Truthfully the answers to those questions are:
A. Everything
B. Yes and No
C. Most probably
But thats ok! There are over 7 Billion people in the world and once you come to terms with the fact that it is impossible to please everyone the world becomes a much less scary place.
Now you may be thinking, "hang on, how can he be one of the most self conscious people around? He said he went from comfortable to uncomfortable, surely if he was so self conscious he wouldnt have felt comfortable filming himself speak in the first place?", and you would have a point. However I feel as though anyone would be able to sit down in private and film themselves talking about something that they are truly passionate about. For me Bitcoin and blockchain technology is that thing! Every since I first started educating myself about it in August of this year I have been completely captivated. I enjoy talking about it so much that despite my fear I feel compelled to discuss it with the world, to share my findings and to spread awareness of this revolutionary technology with as many people as possible.
So now you know what my Youtube channel is about, back to being discomfortable.
As the strange presence retracted from my bubble I remember instantly feeling comfortable again. Now I knew full well of my tendency to feel uncomfortable filming myself in public, hence the lack of Instagram story incase you were wondering guys, however this time it shook me up a little. If my ultimate goal for this channel is to spread awareness of Bitcoin with the world, what does it matter if people hear me speaking about it!? Surely that would be a good thing? In that instant I became aware of how much social media has impacted my life and eroded my self esteem, another ouch! I am so aware of what other people think of me at any given time that I cant even bare the thought of a stranger seeing me film myself speak for fear of being judged! I did not enjoy discovering that at all.
The beauty of discovery is awareness. One can do a lot with awareness and with mine I hope to regain confidence in myself and the value that I have to share with the world. This Youtube channel is the process and I intend on seeing it through :)
On that note, if you're interested in learning about Bitcoin and blockchain technology my channel is called Decentralise Me. I value and appreciate your support!

Much love,
Jeremy