Father Daughter Conversation (Chapter 1)
I'm putting this together for my son whose mother has turned my daughter of another relationship against me. I've done jail time trying to foster a relationship between the two of them. I pointed out to the courts that my sons mother would not let them speak and to prove me wrong she has pushed a relationship with my daughter. The two of them are now speaking which is what I wanted in the first place but slander and defamation of my character has been the result. What I'm showing you is that the dates do not add up and this is simply a case of parental alienation which is child abuse and a terrible crime as so many other fathers have had to deal with throughout modern history. The spelling and grammatical errors were left in to stay true to the original emails and show that at this time my daughter didn't even know my ex-wife's name.
Father Daughter Conversation
(Chapter 1)
12/02/14 - 12/03/14
We should probably talk this week.
John - If you have any questions for me or you'd like to share anything with me, think about it for the next couple of days. Keep in mind I won't accept any blame for not living up to your idealistic expectations. With that said, I'd like to clear up a few things. 405 206 ****
Destinie - I have nothing say to you and I don't want to hear what you have to say. Frankly John, I don't need you nor do I want you in my life. Keep that in my mind.
John - That's fine. I just wanted to warn you about Yoriko. Don't lose your cool with her. You'll end up in jail. She's ruthless (even if you cuss). I would just suggest having a witness and videotaping the entire situation (youtube it). I also wanted to tell you Skye goes to **** School ** NW th OKC OK 73* 405-524-****. I bet you could eat lunch with him like we did that one time. I sincerely wish you the best and hope you're successful contacting Skye!.. I might be in jail for a while. When you contacted me asking for his address, I texted Yoriko about you, just explaining how I wish you and Skye could have time together. I pointed out that what she's doing is abusive towards you and Skye. Now I have a warrant out for it. (texting her about when she hung up on you on Skye's birthday in 2010 gave me a month in jail and a few thousand dollars in fines. I went and I'm going back to jail for fighting for you. Please quit being a bitch to me. Keep in mind you don't know me.) Just be careful. And good luck!
Destinie - I didn't ask for you to "fight for me" and I don't need you to. You think I'm being a bitch because I don't want anything to do with you? You can't just come in and out of someone's life and expect them to be okay. I've actually talked to Yorko and she sounds more genuine than you ever have. Please leave alone.
John - Fighting for you to know Skye is a choice I made for myself... If you've actually talked to Yoriko, why did you contact me asking for their address? You don't allow me into your life. You can't continue blaming me for your actions. I call you a bitch because you're being a bitch to me. Just read the e-mails you've sent me, nothing but negativity The last e-mail I received from you before you asked for Skye's address simply said don't ever e-mail me again. I've said it before and I'll say it again don't blame me for YOUR actions. I hope you and Yoriko have the time of your lives.
Destinie - Because I needed it then. You know what? I don't even need to explain myself to you. I'm so tired of your bull shit. In your eyes your perfect and maybe that's why you've been alone most of your life. You've caused enough problems. We've blocked you from everything else I don't know how to hint to you that I don't want you in my life! Stop.
John - cool. Thanks for admitting you have blocked me from everything. Like I said, don't blame me for not being there when it has always been your choice to "block" me...
ps. no matter how you feel about me, I still care. so I'll continue to answer any of your e-mails. see ya.
Destinie - Could of fooled me.
John - This is my latest movie. You'll finally see how foolish you truly are. I made it to help you and Skye escape from your public education programming. You have been fooled by more than Yoriko... school, church etc... I understand. I was too until very recently.
I don't know who has painted a picture of me as an egotistical person. I don't think I'm better than everyone else. I want to straighten this up with you. And I'll tell you something personal about myself. When I was five years old my mother told me she wished I was never born. I screamed, "THEN KILL ME MOMMY! JUST KILL ME!"
I've absolutely hated myself since I was five years old. I'm alone because I refuse to be abused by any more women. That is the truth. I've been abused by every woman that is entered my life including you with your degrading comments. I survived a cyanide pill and stoke a few months ago. I think about suicide at least a half a dozen times a day and seriously contemplate it roughly once a month. Your mother taking you was the hardest thing of my life at that time. You DO NOT know me. But that has been your choice this whole time. Don't ever think that you know what's in my mind until you know me. The road to truly find out who I am is to kindly converse with me with out any agendas. I'm just a person.
Destinie - You know why I don't know you? I don't know you because after all these years of me trying to get you in my life, me trying to get you to care I finally gave up. I'm sorry that you're depressed but you don't understand how much shit you put me through. You don't understand what I went through cause you weren't there. I never expected you to be the wholesome American TV dad but I wanted a father. You don't take accountability for anything that has happened in my life. Yes I push you away NOW yes I don't wanna hear from you NOW, but that's because I am 18 years old and you have only been a part of my life for maybe 3 years total, at the most. My mother took me from you because you are an unfit parent. I'm sorry if you can't except the truth, John. I don't think you understand what it's like to feel unwanted from your own father. The last memory I have with you is sitting at my grandpas funeral in the fourth grade. I'm graduating this year. I'm sorry if it bothers you that I don't want to let you back in my life only to be disappointed again. I've done this on and off bullshit for too long.
John - I hate to point out, You are the only one that can take accountability for your life. Also, if you were taken from me because I was in unfit parent, it is your mothers fault I wasn't in the picture. I seriously doubt that was the case though. I believe this is another case of you simply being abusive to cover up your emotional pain which translates into the B word again... Your 18 which means you're an adult now. It's time to take accountability for your own actions. It's not up to your mother or me or anyone to make you happy. That's your choice if you had any accountability of your own. I'm working on it myself still. I still have major issues with my mother. I understand how it feels like it's someone else's fault but if that person isn't there, how can they be blamed. You're a smart girl I'd really love to see you put that brain to work and logically think through this whole situation... You need to watch my movie also. Not watching it is like refusing to read a letter that I personally wrote to you which took a year to write. It will help. Your choice.
Destinie - Fuck off. Why do you feel the need to even email me?? I am, and have been, fine without you! Omg you don't understand how pissed you make me! You think someone can't be blamed for not being there but it's their fault for not being there!! I didn't block you from everything until about 3 years ago. That's 15 years unaccounted for. My mom tried and tried to get you to want to talk to me. She kept in touch with your side of the family and you. You were in and out all my life! So excuse me for being honest about not wanting you around. Please tell me your excuse! It pisses me off that you think for one second that you have no blame. You preach taking accountability for your actions yet you blame everyone else for your behavior. You know what? If me speaking the truth and not wanting to allow someone in my life who hasn't ever cared anyways makes me an emotionally damaged, abusive bitch then by God that's what I am. Take accountability for YOUR actions and take a long hard look in the mirror before throwing stones at other people. I have two good memories with you. Two. The rest of them are the times I cried over you not calling or my mom comforting me because you just gave up on trying to be a part of my life. You know what? You're right. I was depressed. I was suicidal. I was bi polar. But I've changed, and yet you wouldn't know that. You preach and preach about me not knowing you and me blaming others but sometimes others are to blame. You've caused me so much emotional damage that I am broken inside, and I always will be. That's your fault and whether or not you want to accept that is up to you. As far as talking to you goes, I have no interest. You cause damage wherever you go and frankly I don't want to be a part of that.
John - "I am, and have been, fine without you!" "I was depressed. I was suicidal. I was bi polar." And you're not bipolar now?
"As far as talking to you goes, I have no interest." But here you are continuing to e-mail me?
"You cause damage wherever you go" I haven't been there to cause any damage.
In my eyes until you were five years old, you were someone else's child. My understanding was your mother got pregnant by a guy named Jeff that played drums for your grandpa Johnny. After her divorce to another guy named Jeff2.0 (wheeler?) she contacted me. why would I want to have anything to do with a woman I once loved and another guy's child? When you were five your mother called me and told me I needed to meet you, that you were my daughter. I gave her the benefit of the doubt and was pleased to meet you. Your mother said we could ease into a comfortable relationship but as soon as I decided to get married, your mother sued me for $29,000 back child support. Let me add that it was for child i didn't know was mine until a couple of years earlier. When I caught your mother cheating on me (5 times) and found out from your aunt that you weren't my kid, it broke my heart... I even forgave and spoke to your mother about bringing up her child as my own (you). She wasn't thinking straight at the time (she had cocaine on the brain when she was pregnant with you...something I never got into). Your mother has admitted to me that it was your grandmother who convinced her to leave Oklahoma so she and Nikki could bring you up themselves. Your mother even apologized to me for that. I don't expect your mom to get into all of the details about our relationship but you are grossly mistaken with the history of our relationship. I hate to say that your attitude problem is probably genetic. Every woman in my line on my mothers side is psychotic. Literally psychotic. When I found out you were abusing your little sisters when they were babies by pushing them over. I was even told hitting... (when I was at your house I saw with my own two eyes you push one of your baby sisters down when you were on the stairs) I just accepted that you were like my sister or mother (all smiles in public and a raging bitch behind closed doors)
If I left your mother and you, I can see it being my fault. But the facts are you have always had a dad and you have had a nicer material life then I would have ever been willing to provide you with jeff3.0.
I just wanted to get in touch with you for the same reason I wanted to see your photos. The same reason I wanted to hear how you were in school. The same reason I constantly tried to get in touch with you and finally had to call your mother to see why you wouldn't have anything to do with me. (I have my call records and e-mail records) That's when that crazy text about the Mexican boot camp happened. I thought that was you pretending to be your mother. Earlier that day she told me that your attitude had not become any better and you were still being abusive to your sisters. She even said that you frightened her (Nikki). I kept imagining you acting like my mother and raging out, torturing your sisters like my mother would torture me. That's why I said you need to come live at the bus etc. You refused to have anything to do with me. I don't know if you were trying to hurt me or what but it looks like the only person you hurt was yourself. You're obviously bipolar. Welcome to the club. There are many women in my life lucky to be alive for the abuse they've given me including your mother. Your mother worked so hard at "breaking my walls down". As soon I took down my walls I caught her wearing some other guys boxers and tank top smelling like sex.
Yoriko has accused me of being abusive because of our fight in 2003 (with her shoulder plus she only married me for her green card. It was her plan to get her green card and leave. When she found out she could take a punch from me and get her green card without having to be married. she kept trying for it but I never punched her. It's called green card fraud. Google it. The circle that I have been pushed into by the legal system has introduced me to some very colorful characters. A human life is only worth $500. If I was going to do anything to anyone don't you think I would have already done it? Today I'm taking my ATM pin code to a military assassin I met a few years ago. I'm going to pay him to mug and kill me. I haven't just thought about killing myself I've attempted multiple times and failed. This time I want to make sure the job is done. I care about you and thought I at least owe you any answers you wanted. Contacting you this time was more of a goodbye forever. I wanted to answer any questions you may have for me about my parents or me before I die...
You asked. you got it. Don't e-mail me saying not to e-mail you. I will only return your e-mails from now on if you've noticed. It's always been your choice. The only time it hasn't been your choice is when yoriko erased all of your messages in 2004. She also said that she wouldn't allow you to have a relationship with Skye. It sounds like you have become friends with her and I'm glad your able to spend time and speak with Skye (or you're a liar)
What do I know about being a parent? I've never been allowed to. I haven't even been in your life enough for you to claim that I've been in and out of your life. I've done the best I know how to do. In reality, something women aren't familiar with, your mother's mom has always been your biggest enemy from you being taken to Houston to your developmental year's diet of happy meals and hi fructose corn syrup... Nikki didn't take you from me. Your grandmother took you from me (ask your mom for the truth and don't get mad at her when you hear it. Keep in mind she was just a few years older than you and did the best she could) if she refuses to share the truth with you, explain to her what you explained to me about accountability.
I hope I've answered all of your questions.
Destinie - You don't get to tell me what's wrong with me. You don't get to blame anyone. I don't believe you. If everyone else is the problem maybe you should look at yourself.
John - Same goes for you. Quit blaming me. Just ask your mom. Let her read all of our e-mails. If you don't, I'll send them to her to get her opinion. I don't know if she has lied to you about me or if you're just delusional and getting all of this crap out of your own bipolar brain. The truth will be known.
Destinie - I'm done with you. You really want to kill yourself? You have a son. You're so selfish to do that. Piss off.
John - "I'm done with you." And then you ask "You really want to kill yourself?" If your done with me, shut the fuck up and leave me alone. To answer your question, yes. I've spoken with the man already this morning.. If selfishness is escaping women beating me from every direction in life then yes I'm selfish. I have a son as much as I have a daughter. I've tried and tried and failed to be a part of his life because of the women around us. That is the story in every man's situation including yours. (just ask your dad Jeff3.0 about his ex-wife)
you want to find the blame? Before you blame me for anything else you need to confront your grandmother and ask your mother about the whole situation. I don't know what about that story you didn't believe but it was all true including your mother doing coke while you were in the womb. I'm done with you women blaming me for your actions. You don't need me as a dad. like you said, I was never there... Your name is Walker because your grandmother tried to con me into signing your birth certificate before I had taken a paternity test. Of course I refuse to sign Jeff1.0's kid's birth certificate... Not after what your mother had done to me. I offered you my name but a few years ago even though I agree you should have been adopted by Jeff3.0. He seems to be a really good man. Your mother also turned out to be a very responsible woman. Don't take it personally. I don't hate you. I don't love you enough to hate you. I don't know you enough to love you and what I do know of you, you're an angry bitch like my mother. Very dangerous.
This was a nice goodbye. I hope you live with it for the rest of your life. You'll see what it's like when your children are taken from you by your ex-husband because you're an abusive bitch. Then you'll remember everything I've said and it will be ten years too late. You can tell my grandkids that I'm not around because women literally abused me to death. If you want to see an unfit parent, Go look in the mirror.
bye.
Destinie - You don't know me. I've learned, I've found myself, not angry. Please understand that I'm not an "angry bitch". I'm not you, I'm not your mother, and I'm damn for sure not psychotic. If you want to kill yourself then that's your decision. I don't have a relationship with you so honestly I'm not hurt. Do whatever you want. I don't care about your decision I care about how it'll affect my brother, but I'm sure Skye will be fine eventually.
Goodbye John.
John - Skye won't even know I'm gone... For everything else in your e-mail, you have a funny way of showing that you're not an angry bitch. I don't think you're bipolar. I just think you have a difficult time excepting reality. Just like every foolish Christian you believe what you think is true instead of investigating the facts. I've pointed you in the right direction and you refuse to ask your mother about it. That's your fault like everything in your life. If you don't care about me don't e-mail me back. Thanks
Hey Destinie. Sorry about the coke comment. I PROMISE you I remember her saying that she did coke with Jeff1.0. which was while she was pregnant. For all I know I'm the delusional one... And sharing with you my latest suicide attempt is true but was meant to simply correct your perception of me as an egotistical jackass (douche bag 21st Century terminology).
Why would I ever pretend like I'm someone I'm not with someone as close as my daughter? It's obvious you still have emotional issues. You even admitted it though your mother just said you're fine... I stand by not accepting any abuse from the women in my life including you. And I will continue to point out abuse and bitchiness which IS mental illness. I feel as if you haven't given me the opportunity to get to know you. Your mother told me a while back how pissed off you word that I was talking about Skye instead of you. Wow, talk about an ego. I was simply telling you about your brother because you don't know anything about him and he is the one person we have in common. I thought you would be interested and I remember saying this before. I know you haven't spoken with Skye even though you'd love for me to believe you have. His mother might've had a smile on her face while speaking with you but I put my last $5 on you not being able to enter their house. Your mission is to prove me wrong. Please! And good luck.
I'd hang around in this hell to see that.
Over and out.
Destinie - Wow. You truly are crazy. I have talked to him and in fact I've talked to Yorko. Also, I never go pissed that you talked about him. You have problems and I'm done. I'm not going to explain myself to you anymore. If you want to kill yourself, have at it. I don't care.
John - cool. i was just repeating your mother.
Destinie - So my mom said "I know you haven't spoken with Skye even though you'd love for me to believe you have"? Really now? Ok.
On Dec 3, 2014, at 8:32 PM, john ****** ****@yahoo.com wrote:
I know you haven't spoken with Skye even though you'd love for me to believe you have.
Oh and by the way, I never "hinted" nor did I say that Yorkio and I were trying to block you from Skye. That's part of your problem. I said "we" as in my mother and I but for the record that didn't happen until about 3 years ago. So there's 15 years unaccounted for. Say what you want but I'm seriously done. I just wanted to clear that up so you didn't run your mouth and spread more lies.