Happy Fathers day to you men out there executing such an important task!
Today I reflect on the mentorships I've had. Nothing comes to mind. God damnit I'm empty. Not a single shred of impact worth acknowledging. No one to identify. No one to project gratification to. Today is Father's day and I am left with the taste of sorrow, because I was unworthy of guidance, mentorship, challenges, from the man that should have had the most influence in my life. I was left with nothing but scraps from his interactions. On days like these I realize how important this responsibility of being a father is. I am building a human while rebuilding myself. I often ask myself how far does feeling of emptiness go in my ancestry? How many of us males were left without the attention of our alpha? Why am I so vulnerable to its venom? Why do many come out victorious, and many like myself get consumed in it's notorious shackles of low self-esteem? Although fatherhood is a language etched into my genetics, I missed many of the prerequisites. I am frequently reminded to be patient, to be strong, to be attentive, to be interactive, to make an impact, to challenge, to set reasonable expectations, to never withdraw my love, otherwise I continue the seeds of instability. These are my thoughts of accountability. These are my thoughts on Father's Day.