The role of the father and the power of fatherhood.

In this article you will learn:
The role of the father in the life of the child
How to realize a new role and get used to it
Dad Tips

The roles of parents in our lives forever remain fundamental. In our understanding of psychoanalysis, the specialist works with the patient and undoubtedly finds the cause of his misfortune in early childhood: in the coldness of his mother or the absence of his father in the family. In fact, this is not far from the truth.

Parents are the first people in our lives. The child is dependent on them in every sense, and only in the process of proper development does he learn to recognize himself as a separate person, to separate himself and to uphold. Mom and dad - this is also the first relationship, an example to follow and a source of knowledge about the world and society. Growing up in a harmonious environment of love and understanding, the baby, becoming an adult, will be able to feel happy and build good relationships with other people.

The roles of father and mother are so different, irreplaceable, and multifaceted that it seems completely impossible to generalize them. Probably, a separate article should be devoted to the role of mother. But now let's talk about the father’s image in the child’s life and how to become a good dad for his children.

The role and image of the father
A common picture of our society is the estranged father, his absence or the so-called “festive dad” (a model of an incoming father, always good and giving presents, but completely not taking part in the ordinary life of children). The modern woman is strong and independent, she is talented and successful, but she can never replace the father for her children, this role is beyond her strength.

According to studies, children who grow up in close emotional contact with their father have a high IQ and are better adapted in society. They are also less likely to experience developmental difficulties, feel better in the learning process, and usually enter into healthy, harmonious relationships in adulthood.

What gives us the image of a father?
A man in a family acts as a source of strength and security for his children; he is also a connecting element with the outside world. If the image of the mother is responsible for the emotional sphere, internal balance, then the father is the ability to find himself in society and navigate in life situations. When these two images are in place and the child has close interaction with parents, a deep sense of self-worth is born.

In this formal pastime together does not work. Just watching a TV alone will not benefit the child. It is important to play together, go shopping, hug your child and talk with him as much as possible.

We can distinguish the main, which gives a close relationship with the father in childhood to a grown child:

Sense of security;
Gender identity;
Expectation of respect from others;
Ability to cope with life's challenges and problems;
The ability to build healthy relationships;
The feeling of value;
Model of behavior as men for a boy;
The image of the future partner for the girl.
It is important to remember that the model of a family where a man is just a getter is long outdated. Children need the warmth and tenderness of fatherly love.

How to realize a new role and get used to it
In addition to the behavioral models and personal fears imposed by society, there is one more thing that prevents a man from being a good father - the factor of awareness and acceptance of a new role. It is much easier for a woman who has nine months to bear a child under the heart of a child with all the attendant difficulties and charms to realize herself as the mother of this living creature. If the young dad did not take a special part in the process during his wife’s pregnancy, it is difficult for him to take responsibility for the baby from the first days. Namely, the first weeks are fundamental in forming the base of relations between father and son or daughter.

Unreadiness is often manifested as a child’s rejection by the father, jealousy of the child and unwillingness to be near at the most difficult moments. Many in this period "hide" in work.

Scientists claim that those fathers who took an active part in preparing for childbirth and were present at the birth themselves later become more sensitive and attentive dads.

To feel comfortable in a new role, prepare for it systematically, together with your wife:

go together for an ultrasound;
participate in the organization: costing, finding a hospital, choosing a crib, etc.
read more literature on parenthood;
spend more time with your pregnant wife;
talk with the baby while he is still in the womb;
attend the birth.
And most importantly - the physical presence next to the child, which forms an emotional connection. According to statistics, those children with whom dad did not spend time in the first month of their life will forever remain less loved than those with whom there was an interaction.

Dad Tips
Depending on the age of the child, the father performs its function in its development. And at each stage it is worth paying attention to different things.

0-5 years old. It is important that the father is physically present, the child must see and hear both parents. The man nearby at this stage of development gives a feeling of calm and confidence - such children are less tearful, not shy, calm. You need to often hold the child in his arms, hug, talk with him.
5-9 years old. Time for experiments and active games. Men and women have different approaches to playing with children, and both approaches are important. Men provide more space for imagination, allow you to explore the world, provide active interaction with the environment. During this period, it is good for dad to do lessons with children, get out for walks in nature, play sports games. During this period, the child experiences sexual identification, the son begins to take an example from his father, his daughter from his mother. Show your child at this time how you deal with problems and communicate with other people.

9-15 years old. He pulls away, but don’t do it either. Although now I want to, because it is incomprehensible, and unpleasant, and scary. A difficult period of puberty is superimposed on puberty. This is the time when children begin to realize their identity, seek to defend their rights, to separate from their parents. Hormonal changes make them conflicting and inflexible. In communication with the boy during this period, it is important to remain friend, to remain neutral, to help him with advice regarding school problems. Girls in this period are aware of their “dissimilarity”, it is important to respect this process and gradually accept that the child cannot always remain small. Accept the fact that your little daughter is gradually turning into a woman and her young loves, the desire to use cosmetics and express oneself in clothes is normal.
I wish all the popes wisdom, patience and pride in their children. Remember, it's never too late to get better.