Orphanages are considered to be "islands" of help, support and care for children.

We know thousands of cases when CPS decide that it's better for a kid to live in orphanages because they'll get better care than their parents can give them.

But are they really so wonderful? Are orphanages really better than poor but loving parents (poverty is a popular reason for taking kids away from parents now)?

People are used to think that orphages are places of calmness, comfort and safety. But it's only the "cover" of this horror "book".

I've read many articles of Lyudmila Petranovskaya, a famous Russian psychologist, who has been working in orphanages and contacting with parents who have adopted an orphan.

And her sincerity has become shock for many readers.

Orphanages are cruel experince that leads to deep psychological traumas and even psycho disorders.

We all know that orphanages now have no need in anything, their fincancing is even too good for now! But money can't bring happiness, especially if kids don't have an access to these funds (though many corruptive officials do have!).

Orphanages are places where children will pass cruel lessons of life, nobody knows what the results will be...

The cases of violence, beating, committing suicides are not rare exceptions of orphanage life.
But even if we ignore all these hell examples, the routine reality of these places aren't much better.

Lack of personal space and violation of personal boundaries

Can you imagine life in an aquarium? Here it is.

Full absence of doors in toilets, in showers and in general in any rooms!
All children, even teeagers, mjust change underwear, perform hygienic procedures and do all the rest they need for personal care in the presence of others!

It is great stress. But it's impossible to live, constantly feeling it. And the child starts to turn off the feelings. Children gradually learn not to feel shame and restraint. They just don't realize what personal boundaries mean - if we speak about orphans who live there from their birth.

The concept of personal boundaries can appear only if he sees how these boundaries are observed.

If we take kids who have been taken from families and live there now, it's even worse. They lived in absolutely differerent conditions, and they have their own perception of life and its rules, now their world is broken forever...

Now financing of orphanges have solved many problems, but is it enough to buy big modern TVs , if there're no toilets with doors there?!

Regime life

All life is subordinated to the regime. A child can not adjust his day to his own well-being or mood.

Does he have sad thoughts? But he still has to go to a coomon entertainment event. He can not lie down during the day and rest a little, because the bedroom is most often closed.

He can not eat anything between meals, as children do at home, because in many orphanages food can not be taken out from the canteen.

Hence - "psychological hunger" - when children are adopted, they start to eat very much, all the time, without any stops!

Isolation from society

These kids live behind closed doors all the time. They have too few contacts with the normal life, and thus the feelings "I am here, and the life is there" develops very fast. So it's the fastest way to realizing themselves as outsiders.

Priceless money

Many children in orphanages don't know what money is at all. They just don't hold it in their hands and don't have a possibility to spend it.

Every month the state gives rather much money to them, but they never see it, until they're 16-18 and can leave the orphanage. That's why they don't have right money perception and don't know its real price.

Absence of freedom of choice and notion of responsibility

In the family, the child gets these skills gradually.

First, he is offered a choice of milk or tea, then ask what to choose in a getsT-shirt. Then parents give him money, and he can go and buy a T-shirt he likes.

The child in the orphanage is the same both at 3 and at 16: the system is responsible for it.

He can't make any choices, he doesn't have any freedom - he's under the system's cover.

So are orphans kids or just the sphere of responsibility for those who work there? Do they realize these kids must be ready for outside life, but they can't!

It's strange to expect that kdis who had no freedom during 18 years, suddenly at age of 18 would start to be responsible and would be able to make right choices in life.

Without preparing a child for life and responsibility, we doom it to death. Or to the prison, where there is no freedom, and there is no responsibility. LIke in orpahanges.

SO a family is the only possible and absolutely perfect place for normal kids development!