This story is not about them, it’s about the others that don’t…

It is also the story of a young girl, my best friend but not long enough, who’s life was destroyed and eventually ended and that of her family, by a system that was meant to protect her.
It is a tough one to write, because it was the first time in my life that I experienced up close what evil CPS in Holland can do, and at the time I wasn’t even sure why they were there and what their function was.
I know now.

For Julie, Sam and Leon: I will never forget...

Julie's family

I met Julie after her mother started talking to me at the park when I was walking our family dog. I was 15 at the time and Julie was 14. The mother Alicia, told me that they just moved to the area and that her daughter and I would get on well. Not long after that, I met Alicia again in the park. This time she had Julie with her. I was shy and quiet, while Julie was quite the opposite. Somehow, however, we connected and became inseparable very quickly. Her mother became like a second mother to me and their home became my second home. Julie's brothers started to call me sis or cousin whenever anyone asked, and everyone that didn't know us thought we were related. Her family was Italian and their house was a noisy but happy home.
But of course, like in other homes, this family also had their problems. But there was never any aggression and if anyone ever got angry, this would never last. There was more laughter in their house than I had ever experienced in my life, and everyone who ever visited didn’t want to leave and always came back. However, they had one incident where the police was called. Little did they know that it would change their lives forever....

source: manilatimes.com

Julie's story

Julie's eldest brother Leon was in his first year in college and had just moved out on his own. Their parents had asked him to leave because there had been some trouble with some of his (wrong) friends and they had brought trouble to their home.
The incident happened after he had come home and brought his friends after a night out. To cut a long story short:
There was a disagreement that ended in two of the boys fighting and the police were called.
Julie had a large family, she had 2 older and 2 younger brothers and one older sister, all still living at home. Her sister's husband and their little toddler were also living with them. Because the parents didn't want any more trouble to upset their home and children, they had asked Leon to find a place and move out, since he had no intentions to drop his friends.

One day, Julie was having a bad day. You know: the usual teen stuff, nothing major, and usually that would mean we would meet up and have good long talks, but this time I wasn't around. She decided to ride her bicycle to see Leon. Julie and Leon were two peas in a pod, Leon adored his little sister and always stood up for her whenever there was something going on.

She arrived at his house where she found his friend sitting on the couch, Leon wasn't there.
His friend told her she could wait for him there if she liked, he'd be back shortly.
Julie never liked this friend, but because her brother would come home soon, she decided to wait. From what she told me afterwards, there was an awkward silence for about an hour, in which he only asked her if she wanted to have a drink while he helped himself to another beer from the fridge. After that long hour of silence and waiting, she decided to go home but was stopped by Leon’s friend. He came on to her, and when she didn’t want anything to do with him, he overpowered her.

Julie had just turned 16 when she was raped.

Fast forward - The nightmare becomes reality

Three months went by in which Julie kept all of this to herself. To her horror, she discovered that she was pregnant. One night, I was at their house and all of us were playing a board game. I will never forget how Julie broke down and told us everything. I still hear her sobbing in my head when I think of her. It was the first time I’d seen this family sad and angry at the same time. We all shed tons of tears but at the same time, there was an immense amount of love. It was the hardest thing to hear for all, but I believe Julie’s father Lou suffered the most. In the months to come, we saw him decline from a vibrant, sunny man to a heap of sadness, suffering in silence.
And Leon...he changed. He wanted to kill this guy. And I think he would have, if Alicia wouldn’t have made him stay with them and made him promise not to take matters into his own hands.

The normal route was taken, police reports and statements were filed and eventually this led to the arrest of the man who shook a family’s life to the core.
When they let him out on bail, he found his things outside of the house he, Leon and another friend were sharing. He didn’t take this lightly and demanded to be let in. Instead, the whole thing escalated into a fight between him and Leon.
The police were called again.
In the next few weeks, Julie had to undergo some tests at the hospital, as was the usual protocol. As there was no physical proof, besides her pregnancy, that she had been raped, this didn’t do any good in regards to the prosecution.
Julie went into a depression and her family doctor recommended a psychologist and offered antidepressants. She declined both. Her family was tough and very close and they had always worked through any issues without help from outside.

The family was Catholic and abortion was not considered an option. In all of the chats that I had with Julie, I never really had the impression that even if it was, she had any intention of having an abortion although she did mention giving the child up for adoption once. You see, Julie was one of the kindest people I knew and she never put the blame on the child, if anything: she blamed herself.

Because of the nature of the offence the police kept in touch a lot and because Julie was a minor and the rapist was an adult, social workers got involved in the case as well.
I don’t know why she felt it was her place to even mention this, but at some stage the social worker sat down at their dinner table and said that abortion was an option and that no one would ever judge her for taking that route. This didn’t go down well with Julie’s father and he got angry.
The social worker apologized for being so blunt and then went on to ask Julie what she wanted. At the time, all Julie could do was cry and she didn’t really want to talk.
However, later somehow the social worker managed to talk to her alone and that is when she mentioned she was considering giving the child up for adoption.
This would come back to haunt her for a long time to come.

Fast forward - the nightmare continues and the system's ugly claws

Leon partly moved back in with the family, he still maintained his house but wanted to be closer to his family for support. He was also afraid that the ‘friend’ would pull some tricks out of his sleeve as he was vindictive and had a bad temper.
With everything going on, her pregnancy, the police investigation that got nowhere and desperation setting in about the choices she had to make, it all got too much for Julie. She slowly slipped into a deeper depression. She was losing weight when she should have gained. She barely ate, barely spoke. I think at the time I was the only one she truly confided in, but not as much as I hoped. Besides this, maybe I wasn’t the right person for her to talk to at the time as I was only young myself and could impossibly offer any answers.
I tried to be there for her as much as I could, but this meant that I had to lie to my parents a lot, because they didn’t agree with me going to her house so often. So I sneaked around a lot, behind their backs, I did all that out of love for her, but I couldn’t be there all the time.
And to top it all off: The one who should be held accountable for all the misery pressed charges against Leon. During the fight they had just after the police had released him, Leon had punched him in the face a few times and this had caused a small tear in the eye socket.
Now the tables were turned once more and this became a huge problem.
A few days after Leon found out that he was charged the social worker came to the house once more and this time, she brought a colleague.

From what I heard later on, they had the following to say:
They pulled out the two police reports about the two fights that happened between Leon and his friend. Because they felt that Leon had anger issues (something that’s logical behavior if you just find out that your little sister got raped) they felt that the home was not a safe environment for the younger children in the house, especially Julie.
Of course the family disagreed but the social workers were very clear with their message:
Leon had to stay away or they would take the younger children, including Julie’s little nephew. In shock, they reluctantly agreed to having to cut Leon out of their family for the time being.

But their nightmare had only just begun….

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