the politician who sued me // repressed memories of abuse, part 3
Working as a journalist I have always had a big interest in writing about children and sometimes abuse. I was highly focused on family issues and kind of drawn to it. Once I published stories about a private orphanage where abuse took place, which had to close right after. Unfortunately everyone responsible got away without real consequences. Instead I got sued by one of the involved politicians. He made me pay 3.5 k for writing about his involvement. Today, my Ex is working with this guy …
People tend to call my life interesting because it really is. I am one of those people who's stories would be deemed too heavily constructed if you would try to sell it to any kind of fiction publisher. Sometimes I feel like someone is trying to traumatize me every step along my life. I am not begging for your sympathy. Everything comes in waves. The positive things happening in my life luckily have the exact same power as those miseries have. So, in case you need any kind of judgement, let's just stick with interesting. I noticed that this is really important for me because I couldn't go on writing feeling like a victim.
One day I'm gonna tell you about my gut feeling about bow ties, too …
I can't tell his name but fortunatelly I can't draw, either. So I just produced this drawing. He wouldn't recognize himself this way, I guess. This is a German lawer and politician. He was involved in a case, where kids got systematically abused in a private orphanage. What I wrote about him was only one sentence that today you find exactly like I wrote it at wikipedia. In other words: He had no right to sue me, however I didn't dare going to court with this guy and decided to just pay the price for truth instead. You don't mess with powerful attorneys/politicians in your state's court. You will most likely lose against them, judged by one of their best friends.
This happened to me around five years ago and got me into troubles with my boyfriend at this time. He has always been in two minds about my work. He kind of fell in love with me for my courage of speaking out my truth, while on the other hand he could never deal with the consequences and got angry with me about them. Like in this case. We had so many fights about my exact wordings whenever I published something. Today I recognize how controlling he has been in all those last 6 years. Whatever I wrote, I had to decide between writing truth or harmony in my relationship. Today I understand that this is no paradox whatsoever. He loved my courage because he himself has a lack of it. And this is exactly why he picked this lawyer who once made me shut up. My Ex is trying to sue me for slander. Because I’ve talked to one of his friends about our relationship. Yes, it’s ridiculous. I’m in no way scared by that. And it's not the first time I am sued by a "family member". My own mother did the same thing. We'll save that for later.
What am I trying to tell you?!
The point is: My life isn’t done, yet. After whatever traumatized me when I was a child, those motives keep coming back to me. In my work, my relationships, my everyday life experiences. And from what I’ve learned about traumas thus far, this is exactly what it’s all about. For as long as you don’t deal with old traumas and hurt feelings, they will come back to you in any shape or form. My subconscious mind is drawn to people, motives and feelings that once traumatized me. It’s like receiving puzzle pieces from your own mind, gently pushing you to solve the quiz of your life. I’ve spoken to a psychiatrist and will be assisted in this process very soon. What he told me so far is that in cases like mine where traumatization never really stopped, my mind would most likely sort of morph all those experiences, symbols, pictures and feelings to many layers of confusing and mixed up pictures. And this is exactly how I feel. So, I guess, what I’m trying to tell you is: I don’t know what I am trying to tell you, yet. I’m connecting to my subconscious and whoever reads this: Please don’t take any of this as proven facts.
This post has been Resteemed and Upvoted by @familyprotection
are using "Child Protection Agencies"
to take children away from loving families
and place them in foster care or group homes
or put up for adoption.
THESE FAMILIES NEED PROTECTING.
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thank you very much. I love your work.
Politicians are like snakes, all over the World.
This post was upvoted and resteemed by @thethreehugs
thank you! I followed
You are most welcome
You have an intriguing story and you're very brave to write about it openly. I can almost imagine which politician it was. I won't say right now, but be assured whoever it was will be getting what they deserve in the end. Well, like we all will. Thank you for sharing your story!
Love it! Very interesting read, and I like your drawing too :) ... what comes from the heart, they can’t take that away dear Meike.