The Three Foster Homes That I Spent Time In.- Growing Up In Foster Care

The three foster homes that I spent time in _Growing up in Foster Care.
This post talks about the first 2 as the third will be talked about later on as it is a whole different story.
The very first night I was taken out of my parents home I was put into a foster home and it was the worse place you can imagine. There were very small bedrooms and each had 3-4 bunk beds in each room. The older children were responsible for all the cooking and cleaning. I spent about a week in this first foster home. One day the lady that ran the foster home came over and she walked outside, I was sitting outside smoking a cigarette. Some of the older kids were allowed but not the younger children. I was only 12 so I was not allowed. When she walked out and saw that I was smoking she told me that I was not allowed and she told me to put it out. I told her “NO”. She was an older lady and she walked with a cane. She took her cane and hit me upside my head with it. I had an unimaginable respect for the elderly and it took everything that I had in me to not get up and hit her back. Instead I simply left her home. At that minute I decided that I would never stay in another foster home. This was the start of the next chapter of my life that would be the hardest time of my life.
I am sure that I have told you guys about my first foster home. But I wanted to tell you again because it is why I felt so bad after I decided to try to stay in a foster home and form a real bond again with a family. This story is about the second foster home that I stayed in and why it effected me as bad as it did.
When I was placed in this foster home I had to stay because I was placed on house arrest and had to wear an ankle bracelet. This was only for a few weeks. Once I was able to have the ankle bracelet removes I decided to stay in the foster home. It was a decision that I made as I got very close to the foster mother and the baby she adopted. It had been almost 3 years that I was living on my own and I decided that if I wanted to change I needed to stay put and try to be a child again. I can tell you that once a child grows up it is very hard for them to go back and be a kid again. That childhood mentality is lost forever. So when they decide that they are willing to give that role back to the adult it is a hard thing to do.
The relationship that I developed with the foster mother was what I would have hoped to have with my own mother. I could talk to her about anything and she taught me skills that I did not have already. She taught me how to cook. Which that is one thing that I really enjoyed doing with her.
But the relationship that I had with her baby was what really kept me there. She had adopted a baby as she could not have children of her own. From the day I got there this baby acted like I was her mother. She wanted to be held by me all the time. I was the one that took care of her daily needs, as she would not allow anyone else to bathe and feed her. Yes, even her mother. From the first night I was there I noticed that she would give the baby some liquid before bed. I thought it was a med that she needed but one day I asked her what it was for. She told me it was NyQuil and she gave it to her because it was the only way that she could get her to go to bed at night. That was the beginning of the end of my happiness there.
Around this time things got bad. She would get really mad at me for nothing and would hit me. When the hitting started I thought about leaving but I chose to stay because of the baby. Than one day she decided she wanted a new car but we had to go out of state to get it. So she decided that me and her husband would travel out of state with another truck driver and go pick up this care. Her husband was a truck driver. We picked up the car and drove it back to Florida. Right after that she decided that I was trying to get with her husband and accused me of this. She took all of my stuff and threw it out in the street and called CPS to come pick me up. CPS placed me in an emergency foster home but than decided that I needed to go back to Dade County. Being that I was still in fear of going back to Dade I protested this move. CPS did not agree and shipped me back to Dade.
I remember the day that this all happened. It was the lowest and most horrible feeling of my life. I felt like I wanted to die and my soul was ripped apart. My family that had been torn from me I was not allowed to be around, and now the second time I allowed another person into my life and became a family again now they have thrown me away. And even worse I was being placed back into an area where I felt my life was in danger. I was in such despair.
When I arrived back in Dade county they placed me in a group home. I was so emotionally upset that I wanted to end my life. I got a hold of a bottle of asprin and took the whole bottle. I woke up in the mental hospital and spent the next few months there. This was the one time that I found myself there that I actually felt that I belonged there. Below is a picture of me and the baby that I am talking about in this post. This photo was taken during a visit I did with my birth mother. (also in the picture). She is still apart of my thoughts and prayers.

Please do not laugh too hard at the outfit. I was 15 and M C Hammer pants were in style back than. And I had a really bad perm

I chose this story because I wanted you to know just how being in a foster home can effect a child. Each time they are moved from one foster home to another, it is like they are loosing their family all over again. Many children are moved on average 2-3 times a year while they are in foster care. This tears up their soul and makes it very hard for them to form long lasting emotional attachments with other people as they fear that loss. This effects them for the rest of their life.

As my story is so close to me and still effects me daily I have to say that I am not alone in this. There was an article written that shows that Foster Children are harmed by all the movements. The article states that the children are traumatized with each move. The choices I made to not stay in a foster home was mine to make. When I did decide to stay I can tell you it tore my world apart to be thrown out like trash. I was 15 when this happened. I could not imagine how it would effect a young child. If you are interested in reading the article here is the link. http://www.bbc.com/news/education-34292394

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This is just the beginning of my story and the information that I have. If you wish to hear more please consider following. And upvoting and resteem this. The more people that know about the ways CPS uses to steal children the less likely they are to get away with it. And one day we will be strong enough to put a stop to their tyranny.

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As I fully support the #familyprotection movement 25% of ALL the SBD generated for this post will be transferred to #familyprotection. The other 25% WILL BE USED TO BUY MORE Steem Power. So my voting power will go up. The last 50% will sit in my account until someone needs it, I need it or I will use it to buy even more Steem Power.
As I just today saw that the market was low I took ALL of my SBD and bought Steem than powered it up. Almost 50 SBD

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**As always Thank you for taking the time to read this post. It means the world to me to finally have a place where I can speak openly and without fear or repercussion.

THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**