Time to heal… Taking Away a Child’s Medication – Child Abuse? #familyprotection

in #familyprotection4 years ago (edited)

Well, it is my 1 year Steemit Birthday this month! It has been quite the rollercoaster ride both emotionally and spiritually!

You would think that on my 1 year anniversary, I would be blogging like crazy, but I have actually taken this month off due to focusing on some personal healing and family issues.

You may or may not know, my son has additional needs. We have been trying to work with doctors for years now and this last year has been trial and error with medication to help him to focus at school, calm his tics and reduce his anger and violent outbursts.

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Unfortunately, the medications did not help; in fact they made things worse. After months of trying, we have decided to take him off the medication all together. He is much happier and calmer and although he cannot produce the work that school requires of him due to his concentration being all over the place, he is more content in his emotional well-being and socially he is able to function in a much friendlier way.

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Now we have the dilemma that the doctors and schools are involving outside sources. He has an assessment today with an educational psychologist. We are not allowed to be there for the first hour, they will be assessing him in his classroom. We have been ‘invited’ to a compulsory meeting to discuss their findings later in the day.

My worry is that although we are his parents, the government has been known to prosecute parents for child abuse for refusing to medicate their own children, even if they feel that the medication is doing more harm than good. #familyprotection has many articles on similar stories and it is frightening just how much power the government has over our son. They can take my child away and put him into care just because we don’t want to give him drugs… in our son’s case, the ADHD medication is the same as Speed!

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After the assessment today, I don’t know what will happen. We have another meeting with the paediatrician to discuss our decision, so I guess it will be a case of having to convince them that this is the best thing for our son. I just hope it doesn’t all go wrong.

I guess I will be writing to you either from the comfort of my home, or from a jail cell! Lol Jokes aside though, this is a serious possibility and I pray that I don’t find myself in that situation. Please hold us in your thoughts today and send positive vibes.

Thank you for reading, much love, @beautifulbullies xx

(Thanks to unsplash.com for the free images)

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Dear @beautifulbullies, I know this is something to worry about. State agencies are known for this kind of behaviour. I am dealing with a similar issue. My daughter has a light form of epilepsy and never needed medication. The neurologist in Holland didn't find it necessary but now all of a sudden they keep mentioning it here in Ireland as: Daughter has still not received medication for her epilepsy. She doesn't have the kind where she would have uncontrollable fits. Her 'version' gives nightmare like scenes in which she speaks, responds, and she used to scream and cry about something that seemed like something she had a dream about. Almost like sleepwalking and talking...It scares me that other people think they know better. As for ADHD medication, it's horrible stuff. My friend's son was on it and he needed sleep medication at night because the ADHD meds kept him from sleeping! I believe she quit giving it to him too. I sometimes feel that schools insist on the meds to make it easier on them. It has nothing to do with the welfare of the child. However stressful your situation can be, I hope you can manage to remain calm and not let them get to you. YOU know your child best, no one else! I will send some positive energy your way. Stay strong! Much love from Ireland.

I hope your situation is resolved easily too! It is so hard when you realise that someone else has more power over your child than you do :( But we will fight for them. Stay strong! xx

Oh my gosh, @beautifulbullies :( My heart goes out to you and your family. It is like walking through a field mine nowadays being a parent and the most vulnerable are being targeted for whatever reason.

In my childrens' school (a Montessori School), the Director had the state come in and evaluate the whole student body....kids from pre-school through middle school and over half of those kids were diagnosed with ADD/ADHD/Autism. Luckily my two children had a bug that day and were home with me but I was shocked when they returned and I heard this. Not only were the parents not informed or told their child would be evaluated but 60% of the school? I listened as the conversation turned from curriculum to 'medication' other mom's were giving their child with horror and I witnessed several of the children complaining to their parents how they didn't want to take the medicine because it didn't make them feel good. Then on one occasion I was on a field trip with my younger son's class (pre-school) sitting with the other parents and one of them brought up the recent 'evaluation event' - this parent's son was my son's friend and a really smart and wonderful kid - and they told me that their son was diagnosed with autism. What?! This didn't make sense to me and I was very concerned about their son - given that other parents followed what they were told about their childrens' newly diagnosed state. But then they told me that they were both 'pediatric doctors' and they did not think this was true and in fact, just recently invited over their other doctor friends that were developmental pediatricians to discuss and evaluate what they were being told and all disagreed strongly and all were very concerned as well that a school would be subjected to this.

I could go on about this with other frightening stories we've experienced as parents but I'm sure you've been through it all yourself. Especially if you do have a child that has added needs - it is a nightmare...a scary one.

My sister-in-law has a child with defiant disorder and she homeschools now which I think is the smartest thing you can do if you live in a state that allows this (I hate even saying that - allow). This is what I would do, @beautifulbullies if you can at all wing it. You know better as a parent what your child's needs are. And if you can, find a doctor (like a functional medical doctor) that will support you and your son - go to bat for you, be in your corner and use other non-medication methods to help your son through this (although they are regular medical doctors however trained in addressing the source).

I would also get as many doctors (that are aligned with you) on your team as well as some large parent groups (that share your experience) that will make a lot of noise.

See if this is helpful to you (regarding the facts and your parental rights): https://www.cchrint.org/issues/childmentaldisorders/

And here is an example of functional medicine's approach to ADHD: http://drhyman.com/blog/2015/10/21/7-strategies-adhd/

Good luck to you. Sending hugs and prayers.

Wow! that is so scary! I don't know who is behind all these diagnosis' or why, but it is awful that so many children are being labelled without the proper requirements being met. Who exactly is driving this trend? Is it the Big Pharma companies or is it the schools? who knows! But we are losing control as parents that is for sure. Thank you for your reply xx

Hi @beautifulbullies .. I can totally understand your pain!

I'm an ADHD adult .. something I never knew till like a couple of years back when I was having a casual chat with a friend who runs a school for such kids.

First thing I'll say is screw the system!

Sorry for this outbrst (I'm ADHD remerber?) but really medication is so NOT the way to go. It's at best a band-aid to curb the symptoms and and effects .. and shoving pills down a childs throat is a vicious violation of human rights. Hope you could keep up the fight for what is best for your kid.

The road ahead will be a tough one .. I've messed up quite a lot of stuff in the my military days .. .. even messed up more in the Uni .. nonetheless I've successfully gone gotten a B.Eng degree .. but work-wise there are the challenges itself. Not just from the lack of focus .. but also at times from the hyper focus state when I'll just dive so deep into 1 item and neglect the rest on the list .. and amongst many others ..

Though tough .. it's never dire .. ADHDs have their way of working round things .. friends call me a cockroach that can't be killed!!

Guess one important thing now is to try to channel his energy into things that he likes and hopefully excel in. Many famous adults confessed to being ADHD themselves :)

Find ways to get him into useful things that can turn his hyper-focus state on more often .. There's also an online magazine which focuses on ADD (pretty similar) .. https://www.additudemag.com .. found some facebook support groups too .. things I never had back then.

Wishing you all the best for the meeting. .. and even more better days for your kid and your family :)

Take care

Thank you so much for your words of support! It is great to hear from adults who have been through this themselves who agree meds aren't always the answer! My son is the same way as you describe. He can so intently focus or obsess over one thing that he completely forgets the rest of the world around him! And then other times he is like a whirlwind and I can't keep up with his brain or train of thought lol He is such a funny boy he has an amazing sense of humor and absolutely loves animals (which is good as we have 5 dogs lol) They tend to calm him down, or if that doesn't work, we go out dog walking and he climbs trees to burn off his energy! This is so much better than drugging him imo. Thank you for the link to the magazine, I will defo be checking that out! much love, beautifulbullies! xx

Ya .. think those pharma and the govt must be in some conspiracy!! Haha

Oh .. yes .. the humour part .. I've the class clown ever since adolescences!!

Oh .. by the way .. if u are on Andriod u may wanna download this app "Photo Guru" .. it's photgraphic communitty app .. currently they are running a topic called "Silhouette" .. the 1st photo of your boy's silhouette looks awesome .. can give it a shot :)

@beautifulbullies My brother and sister, both adults now, have been medicated since children. My sister in particular started at 4 years old and is now 25. She has effectively been taking amphetamines every day for 20 years. She has very little emotional skin and finds coping in regular situations difficult; it's like she never developed the mechanisms to cope with the real world. I support your decision 100% and I'm sorry that you feel scared. Just know that the real abuse is the damage done to children's' brains and bodies through the consistent over-medication of personalities. Hold tight, it'll be ok x

Thank you @permieemmy :) He is 13 and wasn't on them for more than a few months so hopefully no permanent damage has been caused. It is so hard as you want to trust the doctor to make the right choices, but in the end our children are our responsibility and we have to fight for what is right for them xx

This post was upvoted and resteemed by @thethreehugs. Thank you for your support of @familyprotection.

thank you so much for your support! :) xx

You are so welcome my friend.

I am really sorry to hear that after making such a courageous decision for your son that you are being questioned by those who have no idea about what is going on in your life. I hope that this goes okay for you, you are doing what is best for your son and that is the most important thing. It should be you and your husband's decision and no one else's.
I will be thinking of you all xxxx

Thank you @trucklife-family. You have been so supportive and have given me the courage to write about these issues. If we stay quiet, the powers that be win without resistance. I truly feel like I am not alone in my fight here :) xxxx

Dear @beautifulbullies, my heart goes out to you and your family. I so hope and pray for compassion from those who could cause harm. May they only see the improvement in your precious child. We also stopped the harmful medication my difficult autistic son was on. He is still a handful but much better. The drugs were really doing such damage. But we are in SA and they aren't as rigid as, I think, where you are. Be STRONG!

thank you so much @buckaroo! xx

He is your son, they can see you have tried everything to help him, sometimes medication worked, it did for us and sometimes it doesn't, every child is different. They will put together a better teaching plan, possibly a mentor or more one to one. Your doing great :)

Thank you @karenb54 I know you know first hand how hard it is to fight for your child when they have these issues to face on a daily basis. I wish the school would step up, but they seem to want him medicated so he hits their numbers on paper, rather than what is best for his mental health. Luckily the meeting went well today and I think the psychologist is on our side, but we won't know until we receive the final report. xx

We got through it and survived i am sure you will do the same. Be strong and fight for your child its all we can do :) xx

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Wow that is awesome! :D thank you so much @adsactly! :D

Firstly congrats on your year. Second stick in there with your son your doing the right thing for him you need to keep this thought in you head. Wishing you all the best 💯🐒

A very important debate whether or not to be on medication or not, I was in the same dilemma with depression and was forced by my own parents to take the medication, as an adult I refused when I was old enough (16) to make up my own mind. There are pro's and cons for everything in life I guess, but I have seen too many times how medicating children at a young age can make them imbalanced as adults. ADHD medications especially has many studies surrounding its influences on children becoming drug dependents later in life. I have found that there are many alternatives to the drugs pharmacies/ government try and force on you, for example Valerian root has wonderful properties.

I am sorry you are going through this insane ordeal and I hope that everything works out, please keep in touch <3 Sending you and your family all the love and thoughts!

Thank you so much for your support @pennydread (I love your name btw) :) xx

I have missed you here, but I am so glad you were able to take time away to work through things with your family. My heart is with you and I will gladly be sending positive vibes your way <3

Thank you for the positive vibes @rachelhanson10! I have missed you guys too and am completely overwhelmed at the support here! So happy to be back with my Steemit tribe :) xx

You will not (ever) be writing from a jail cell. You made the best decision for your son as a parent and if the system has a problem with that, we'll keep fighting till we get justice

Thank you so much for the strength and support in your words, you actually made me cry with this comment! We have a long road ahead, but the first battle is won..I hope! xx

Sending you so much strength and love! So courageous to choose to do what's right in the face of monsters. Please know we are here to back you up if they choose to fight you! I'm always for the rights of children and families!

You're welcome. Please draw my attention to it if it gets crazy.

I am you new user happy to see you there...

I hope things work out. It sounds as if you have done the right thing. I hate that the 'government' gets a role in your child rearing decisions, that has a very Brave New World sound to it. I hope things go well and sending good chi and happy vibrations to you and your family.

I hate it too! It is frustrating that you are being questioned on your decision NOT to give min d altering drugs to your own child :/ but I will fight on :) xx

Good luck and you know you are in the right, so fight on!

Prayers with you and your family. Having family members with the same issues, I feel your pain. It is so difficult to find the balance needed to allow your wonderful child to thrive in the "normal" educational settings. I wish you and your son well!

Thank you for your support! :) xx

my wish is that all this happens to you, I recommend you stay strong and thinking positive. You have the support of the entire community

You are welcome.

Hey there, I am glad to hear that you are doing what you think is right and standing your ground. It is very difficult to do this. Our children need us to do this for them. Do you know when you hear back from them regarding the final report?

It is getting harder and harder for us to protect our children. It is good there are many of us standing up for them. We are making it harder for them to take total control.

Congratulations on your steemit birthday.

We have received a copy of the report already! I can't believe how fast it came through! The lady was on our side. She has sent a copy of her report to the doctor and to the school and we have another meeting with school next week, plus the meeting to discuss our decision to take Owen off the meds with his doctor, but this report makes me feel less nervous about the whole situation as we now have a professional opinion saying that Owen was coping much better off the meds. She also said he was a lovely polite young man and a joy to be around, which is very different to the picture that was painted of Owen by the school and the doctor when he was taking the meds, so I think that helped us :) I am so relieved!

Don't get me wrong, I know he is a handful, but the meds were just making his symptoms 10 x worse. I think with support and understanding, we will get through it in a better way

I am so happy to hear that. Having the support can make all the difference. Doing what is best for you and your family is so important and to have someone back you up can ease the situation. Doctors and the school system can be so pushy.

When our oldest son was in school they wanted to medicate him. It took a lot of my energy to stand up to them but I wasn't budging and they finally backed down.

I sincerely wish you to overcome all difficulties! Very often very special children become great adults. I believe that children who are different from others are not sick, they are just special and individual. I think that everything will be fine!

I hope so :) Thank you!

Hi my friend. I have missed you, thanks for the update, unpleasant as it is. I was actually hoping you were off somewhere on a grand adventure...

Here, in Arizona USA you would have the option to completely opt out of the system. You would then be required to educate him yourself. While it does not completely remove the state from the equation it limits them some.

That medication isn't 'like speed'. It is speed. Nothing else but. I took a form of it for 7 years until I opted out of the system. It just made me stupider and stupider until even reading became a chore. I couldn't take it so I decided (I was over 50 and presumed to have an inkling about what I wanted) to stop taking all meds. I have had to deal with my condition and adapt myself to it, but I have never once regretted the decision.

All my best to you and your family today. I wish there were more that I could do.

BigT, my god whenever I read your comments or posts I think man, you have had such a tough and trying life and LOOK AT YOU! You are incredibly inspirational and wonderfully lovable!

Thank you so much @bigtom13, I have missed you too! In fact I have missed all my lovely steemit friends and I have to say when I logged on here, I was overwhelmed with all the support from this post! Thank you guys! I homeschooled him before when he was younger, but he decided he wanted to be with children his own age (he is 13) and all the homeschooled children in this area were a lot younger so I agreed to let him go back into a school setting. Hopefully we will get through this unscathed, I know I have a battle on my hands, but the first one went well :) Thank you again for your support! xx

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