christian trails

Benchmark: Understanding your Make-ups

"...But from the beginning of the creation God made them male and female...." Mark 10:1-9, KJV

Over three years now, during my quiet moment, I saw, from the above passage, one major reason why many marital relationships have failed and are failing. That morning, I spent hours literarily crying before God, and for one week I prayed my heart out on what God's Word confronted me with. My prayer project (not just prayer point) was that, the Lord should make me and My-own-Mercy understand our make-ups. Why did God make me a male and make my wife a female, from the beginning of the creation? It dawned on me that there was a deliberateness in God's heart for so making us; and to get the best out of our marriage, we must understand His purpose.

Amid a serious Bible Study, the Pharisees interrupted the Master, aiming to trap Him on the issue of divorce. The first thing to note, is Jesus' carefulness in separating God's words from that of Moses, their man of God. He said, "What did Moses (not God) command you?" When they replied, Jesus revealed: "...he (that is, Moses, not God) wrote you this precept..." (vs 3-5). Truth is, many high sounding principles of marital relationship some pastors preach today are their own making, not God's. Be careful not to be build your home on such. And you won't blame those pastors! The troubles they face, almost on a daily basis, in trying to save ailing marriages of some members, could have forced them to come up with those 'precepts', to deal with the hardness of people's hearts. But I tell you the truth, in the beginning it was not so!

Then, what was in the beginning? God made them, from the beginning, male and female! By His design and wisdom, Baba made them different - male and female. He could have made them the same, but He chose otherwise for a purpose. He gave them different outlooks, tastes, perspectives, emotional balances, thought-patterns, worldviews and what you have; and Baba did so on purpose. Brother, your wife is not made a male, so please do not try to make her another man like you. You will frustrate your marriage by so doing; just dwell with her according to knowledge (1 Pet. 3:7). Sister, please you also must understand that your husband is not designed to feel, see and act the way you would, for HE who made him, made him not a female! You are the female.

By the Manufacturer's design, the basis of every home is for the couple to really understand the peculiarities of their sexes and their individual differences! Yes, the husband and the wife must be ONE flesh, but they cannot be the SAME flesh. In fact, once they are wedded, they cease to be two but one (vs 8). But the point is, in marriage, oneness is not sameness! Both of them are different in designs and yet they must live as one. This is why Paul says, marriage is a great mystery (Eph. 5:32)! Both spouses should understand their peculiarities and learn to live with each other, in that knowledge. In cases where your spouse is so unyielding, you must learn to bend your knees in prayers. God, the Witness in your home, is able to compel your spouse to do the needful.

So from Jesus' response to those Pharisees, it is clear that every home where you see divorce or lingering crisis; it is because the couple have failed to understand that, God, Who made them from the beginning, made them male and female. And in any marriage where this understanding is really grounded, such has the capacity to become the benchmark for others. You know we came to a point in our marriage, when we agreed that DIVORCE, for us, is TO DIVIDE VOICE! So each time we are not speaking with one voice, we know that we are already doing what God hates to see in a Christian marriage. Hence, we must resolve the issue as soon as possible. We have to come to such benchmark as we see in the Holy Scripts, and trust God for grace to live accordingly. Your marriage will deliver purpose. Shalom!

(Paul Pius - July 5, 2017; 6:01am)