There was a time it was common for folks to pick up their phones, send a text message and break up a relationship in a cold-blooded split.

You just wake up to see the SMS that says " Hello, I'm done with us". Your head rings, your body boils! You know what that means but the hurt the grows inside you stops you from finding out what you did to deserve such a callous dismissal.

Maybe there was an online campaign against that method. People said it wasn't a matured way of breaking up. It had a veneer of cowardice.

"Face the person and break up honorably!"

Now, it's no longer popular. Something more dangerous is.

Your partner comes to you with a bit of a detached mood and stoic gaze and says " I think I want some space to think about us"

It doesn't sound like a bad request. You don't want to be the one choking your partner up. Space is not a terrible idea,it might fix things up.

A week goes. No communication.

Two weeks. No tail lights.

Three weeks. AWOL.

You are now worried, anxious, doubtful, hopeful, confused, even paranoid.

Suddenly, you feel that three weeks is enough to decide to be with you or not. You break the ice; stop the silence. You reach out. The other person feels guilty for leaving you in the lurch...and returns.

But the relationship feels colder than it ever was. Emotions are flat. Very flat. You feel like 2 strangers already. The 'space' didnt work to bring you together. Both of you know it. But love isn't knowledge, it is emotions. So you wait it out until you both know you are deceiving yourselves. The relationship doesn't make sense anymore. It had died since week one!

No one is courageous to breakup but you know you have. So, you are in limbo...stuck to each other and yet no longer into each other. It is most difficult to move on like this...especially if you still love what you had before the break.

In practice, Space doesn't fix relationships. It is dialogue that mends a broken love. If I need time away from you to determine why we should continue in love together, you are most definitely not worth my time anymore.

"Space" stops people from communicating the problem and complicates the inevitable break up process as you are held emotionally hostage by your partner's indecision.

Stamp your feet. Don't buy the "I want some space idea." It's a breakup trick; a coward's ploy to avoid the big decision. Make it a "here and now moment." Else, you spend a large part of your life looking back to think it could have worked if you gave that space. Hell, no!( in Madea's voice)

It's time to move on...once you hear the word "space". With tears in your eyes, with hurt in your soul but yet with clarity in your mind, Move on.

Take a napkin for your weepy eyes. Find the next quiet room that dilutes the rage in your chest. But like Lot's wife, never look back.

'I need space' has no happy ending. But you could be happier afterwards if you let it become the moment you never looked back.

The next post is more interesting. This is just a preamble. Do wait up for it.