The False Assumption That Men Have It Easier.

Why do feminists assume that men have it easier? Why do feminists assume that success comes easier to men. Why do feminists assume that when a woman fails to succeed in a given career that discrimination based on their gender is the most plausible explanation for that failure?

Women were long shut out of public life, they had to fight hard to gain acceptance and access to all levels public life. It seems to me that there was or is a prevailing assumption that winning in that struggle was the hard part. It seems to me that feminists think that once those rights and freedoms are or were won, that life would be easier. It seems to me that they think that men prevented them from taking part in public life, to the extent that men do, is because men wanted to keep that good life for themselves.

No. Maybe western men just falsely assumed women are mentally weaker than men as they are physically weaker, I'm sure many did. Maybe men thought it best to shield women from the stresses and hardships of public life as best they could, to protect them. That may well have been the case for the wealthy who could afford it but there is a little known truth that is often ignored. Working class women have always worked and they worked because they had to. With the industrial revolution in full swing and without access to birth control, households with 3, 4, 5 or more children couldn't afford to live from one wage. Even the damn kids had to work so the family could make ends meet.

After the social progress made by women in the 1920's it was not really until the 1950's, with increased prosperity, that the majority of women were once again limited in what they could do and some of those limitations were the result of self-limitation. It was in this post-war period when mothers and fathers did not want their children to have to go through what they went through in two world wars and the great depression. It was at this time when husbands and in many instances their wives too, thought it better that women were better off at home taking care of their children.

There is absolutely no doubt that women were excluded from many professions and of those professions many were not dangerous and nor did they require physical strength. Women were also certainly excluded from management positions and from public office. That is all true. But once those doors were opened, and that was certainly a struggle for many women and the women of today can thank them for doing that, that battle is over. The majority of women in the West today never took part in that struggle because it was over long before they went to university or entered the workforce or decided they'd run for office.

What women are experiencing now in public life is more or less what the vast majority of men have been experiencing for decades. It is tough, it is mean, it is unfair, it is competitive and nobody fucking cares what you have between your legs. Life is hard, professional life is hard. Women have as much freedom and as much choice as men these days. Women outnumber men in Universities across the western world, they dominate the humanities, they dominate the life sciences, they have achieved or have almost achieved parity in the fields of physics and mathematics. Women live longer on average for crying out loud! So what's the problem?

The problem is feminism. Despite the successes, achievements and the domination of women in many fields and areas of endeavour there are still some, like Computer Sciences or Engineering, that are still male dominated. Does that mean that women are deliberately excluded from those fields? No. In a world where women are free to choose a major that interests them, they can be whatever they want. The fact is, there are female physicists, engineers, mathematicians and computer scientists. What is so special about those women? Why did the evil patriarchy allow those women to enter those fields? Simple answer: those women chose those fields, they wanted it and they worked bloody hard to succeed as does everyone who chooses a career in those difficult areas of expertise.

So, why is feminism a problem? Feminism is telling women, they can do anything a man can do, they will just have to work harder than men. Feminism is also telling women, they cannot do anything a man can do because men will not let them. Feminism is telling women they will not succeed because sexism and misogyny prevents them from succeeding. Feminism is telling women, no matter how hard they work, patriarchy will cut them down. Feminism is preaching a hopeless message to countless young women. And the most perverse aspect of feminism is the successful women, women like Lena Dunham, Sarah Silverman, Beyoncé, Oprah, Chelsea Handler, Ashley Judd who are telling young women everything is stacked against them and they must work twice as hard as a man if they want to taste success. When Oprah says if you want to succeed as a woman, you have to be a "powerful woman". The implication is that it requires less effort for men to attain success, that they do not have to be "powerful" men.

Consider this: how often do people complain about their lot? How often do you hear friends and colleagues complain about how hard done by they are? All the time right? Now, consider this: How often do people blame others for their own shortcomings? How often do people blame an incompetent colleague for their stress at work? How often do people blame their shitty boss? All the time, right? But how often do people take stock of all the things they do wrong? How often do people assess their own inadequacies? Not that often and even when they do, how often do they change their behaviour or work on their weaknesses? Maybe you are stressed because you were daydreaming while you should have been working. Maybe you did not get that promotion because you were late a couple of times or made a smartass remark a year ago that your supervisor did not forget.

Discrimination is a fact of life, equality is not. We cannot operate without discriminating or excluding others. This is how society functions. We cannot all be CEOs with million dollar bonuses. We cannot all be Academy Award winning actors and actresses. We cannot all be NBA basketball players. We are not equal, some of us are stupid, some of us a geniuses. Some of us are short, some of us are tall. We have different skills, different tastes, different aptitudes and different desires. When you get accepted into University, that University had to discriminate against other applicants. When you got hired, your employer had to discriminate against other candidates. When you got married, you discriminated against other potential partners, I hope. Society is not about inclusion, it's about exclusion. We have to exclude, there is no way around that.

Is there discrimination based on race? Sure. Is there discrimination based on sexism? Sure. Is there anti-gay discrimination? Sure. Are all those things illegal? Yes. Are they the norm? Absolutely not. There are a thousand reasons you might be excluded, it does not always have to be about your race, your gender, your sexual orientation or your religion or lack of one. It could have something to do with your personality, your character, your skill-set, your competence, your personal hygiene, how you eat soup, your smart mouth, your bad temper, your tardiness. It could be anything.

If you are passed over for promotion or you do not get the job you want. If you get laid off or your request for a pay rise is rejected. If your application for a place in University is denied and your first reaction is to cry sexism, racism, bigotry, then maybe your attitude is the problem. Everyone feels hard done by at some point but some people are perpetual victims and the world is out to get them, those people are their own worst enemies. Equality before the law and equality of opportunity is the best you are going to get and what you make of that opportunity is your own responsibility.