Special place

Some of us have been lucky enough to experience the love of a grandparent. We've grown up with our grandparents having a special place in or lives. I'm one of those lucky ones. I have so many lovely memories of both my grandmas and a little of my maternal grandfather who passed away when I was ten.

I remember staying with my maternal grandma while my mum was at work. Retired Grandparents often come in handy for their kids who sometimes rely on them to provide free childcare. With childcare being so expensive it's understandable why parents would want to take advantage of this.

You could argue that pre-school kids would get a lot more out of being in a nursery where they'd learn counting and nursery rhymes and how to socialise with their peers. While that's true, I think that these things will come when they start school anyway (which in the UK is at the tender age of four). Up until that point they could benefit more by being in a secure family environment where they get one to one attention.

Best of both worlds

I've seen a few grandparents taking their grandkids to stay-and-play sessions at local children's centres, these kids get the best of both worlds. Grandparent can teach their grandchildren some unique skills too. Depending on where your family is from, a grandparent could teach a child another language. My grandma spoke to me only in Punjabi so I became fluent in it. She ran a clothes shop and I hung out with her there when I a toddler. It never did me any harm, maybe I even picked up some business acumen along the way....I'm on Steemit aren't I?!

Some people feel sorry for these "poor old grandparents" who have to care for their grandkids all day instead of going on a retirement cruise in the Med. However, I would say it works both ways. The other day I was standing around in the playground of my kids school chatting to a grandmother who brings her grandson to school most days. "I thank God for him" she said. "If I didn't have him to look after I probably wouldn't even feel like getting out of bed in the morning".

I know not every grandparent feels this way, some may find that retirement cruise in the Med more appealing. Most would prefer a balance of having their own time and spending periods of time with their grandkids. I don't blame them, little kids can be tiring! But I really do think that grandparents need their grandkids as much as their grandkids need them. Their own kids may have flown the nest years ago and that desire to nurture someone can be fulfilled with grandkids.

Mellow with age

After all grandchildren are a mini version of their parents. But this time around grandparents have more time to give to them. They also get to give them back to their parents at the end of the day. With age people mellow too. When my sisters and I were younger I remember my Dad would just have to look at us and we'd start crying. If he rose his voice we would crap our pants.

I remember my mum giving us a good smack now and then... we probably deserved it to be fair. But neither of them would dream of doing this with their grandchildren. If they see us getting angry or wound up with our kids they do what they can to lighten the situation or just rescue the kid from us! My grandma did the same with us when we were children.

When this grandma became frail as she aged, my sisters and I were old enough to make her cups of tea and meals that she enjoyed. When my eldest daughter was a baby and I was still on maternity leave, I brought my grandma to come and stay with us for a week. I cooked for her, helped her colour her hair (she always looked ten years younger when she did this!), gave her a pedicure and we watched Bollywood movies together. In the last couple of years she became quite weak and we started helping her to wash her hair and have a bath. My youngest sister took on a lot of this responsibility recently. She enjoyed spending that time with my grandma and my grandma appreciated being looked after.

All humans want to be loved and to love someone back. A grandparent is another person who gives you that love.

Passing

My grandma passed away last week. She went peacefully but my family and I are all struggling to deal with the loss. There is so much that I will miss about her. I feel an unbearable sadness when I think that the baby in my tummy will not get to feel my grandma touching her head and blessing her. She was just over 80 when she passed away.

I knew she wasn't going to live forever but I didn't realise how painful it would be to say goodbye. I feel so lucky that I had a special relationship with her, and that she was an important part of my life. I'm glad my children had a chance to know her too.

One of the loveliest memories is when I was washing my grandmas hair in the bathroom and my youngest daughter came into the bathroom and sat down to watch. "You've come to join us have you?" my grandma said to my daughter with a smile. I'm glad my daughters saw how an elder was respected and looked after by family members. We wouldn't be here if it wasn't for grandparents, they deserve a special place in our lives for that alone.

MummyIP x