🙏🏻Thankful after all.🙏🏻

mellowleaf (39)in #family • 7 years ago (edited)

Hi all!

Welcome (back) to my Steemit account.

Today I'm going to write about how my sh*tty and messed up life became a nice and quite good one.

I was 7 years old when my parents told me and my three older brother that they were getting a divorce. Well, Yeah it sucked. But I was a kid so i got used to the idea quite quickly. My dad and my brothers stayed in Zeist and first I moved to Utrecht with my mom, and after Utrecht we moved to Eindhoven. (That's like 100km from Zeist).

Which meant that I wasn't able to see my brothers or my father for a long time.
The first few months I saw my family every two weeks.
Untill my parents had a hoge fight. That was the moment when I stopped seeing them.

My mother met a "nice" guy and we went over to visit.
I was spoiled with gifts. My mom decided that we stayed there. Which meant that we were going to live with a complete stranger.
At first is was okay!

So years went by and in february 2005 I got a little babybrother. At the time I was in love with him. He was so cute ! And after twelve years i wasn't the "little" kid anymore. I was a BIG sister now :)!

That summer everything changed.
My "stephdad" started to get abusive.
He was a man with glasses, a big belly, a right arm Which didn't work, a obsession with Germany (Well. He was german...), darts and F1 races.
So I was always forced to watch those with him.
Even When I was 14 Y/O I had a very early bedtime schedule. 8 p.m was my bedtime 8.30pm lights out.

Suddenly it wasn't as fun at home as it used to be.
My stephdad was gaming night and day And my mother worked all day. Which meant that I had to go to school and take care of my babybrother When i came home.
If I didn't do whatever he wanted me to, he'd push me around me, make me trip, grab me in by the neck or just smack me.

So I became insecure and started making bad decisions. Didn't want to go home anymore - *it's obvious why * -
Started smoking, drinking and smoking weed. And of course that comes along with having bad friends as well.
That was also the time when I found out that he was abusive to my mother and brother as Well.
When my brother did something he wasn't allowed to do, he made him trip or pushed him over.

The last night he was with us was the worst. He had a party from the internet radio he was a DJ at. My mother Didn't believe it so once he was gone she started checking his chatlogs. Then she started freaking out, discovering he was cheating on her.
She called him and told him to come back home.

Then sh*t Got real....
When I ran down because I heard my mother scream I saw him, on top of her. His knees were on her arms, so she couldn't move and his arms were around her throath. He was trying to suffocate her.
She screamed At the top of her lungs. Asking me to help her..

Then adventually... He left.

I Thank God everyday that I'm still alive *

After months of recovering from everything we've had recently been through.
My mom and ### real dad contacted eachother.
After a few weeks (hadn't seen him in 2 or 3 years) he came over to visit us and see How we were doing.

I really needed to get used to him.
After a few years of not being able to see your family and being in an abusive invironment it felt very strange to get to know him AGAIN. So much had changed at the time.
He wanted to fool around But What can I say.
Trust was gone.

About 6 months later my parents had decided that we were going to live in Zeist. Like WHAT?! Things were FINALLY okay, school got messed up on One moment but I recovered and things were going great! I Didn't want to leave now!
I was going to graduate that year!
But nope... as stuborn as parents can be we left.