The Family: When in the upbringing of our children less is more ...

in #family6 years ago


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"Despite the stress of everyday life and the desire to have perfect and self-dependent children, you can grow up peacefully"


  Greetings dear readers, today the role of parents has become for many an extremely difficult task. There are several elements that contribute to this feeling, but not all have to do with the personal abilities to exercise this role. At the time of assuming the role of parents, less, is more, and I will tell you why?

  On the one hand, we are burdened with having to deal with work and family life, generating in us concern about the lack of time and levels of stress that make us feel guilty. Unfortunately we can not share with our children as much as we would like, much less as our parents did with us (especially our mom). So we are giving way to a prevailing family model where we are absent, but we try to cover that lack with material things, extracurricular activities, people disconnected to our role or worse yet we give the key to the house and allow them to be alone for long periods time where the only one that transmits values ​​is: the television, video games and the internet, everything, so that our kids do not realize that simply, we are not.

  On the other hand, we live in the competitive society and we believe that we have to prepare our children to be "successful in life". Son, you have to be first in everything, in school, baseball, soccer, karate, music ... We confuse the role of parents with the factory to make perfect children. Therefore, we strive to learn things as soon as possible even out of rhythm and we do not let them burn their stages (we kill their innocence): In day care centers they learn English, use school tools and tools, manage technologies, automate their needs

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AND THE RESULT?


  Children stressed, depressed, with eating disorders, low self-esteem and parents who deep down feel guilty, tired, frustrated and dissatisfied with their parental role.

WHAT TO DO BEFORE SUCH A SITUATION?


  Of course we can avoid and reverse the situation previously raised, for this it is necessary to bet on a more conscious and calmer parenting style, a lifestyle that means giving our children a childhood without hurry, so that they develop fully, that is to say , believe that less is more and that faster and first than all is not necessarily the best option. Here, I leave you two of the many fundamental elements that, in my opinion, can be put into practice and you will see how our role in parenting begins to improve:

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Love them as they are



   Love should be our starting point and the fundamental basis for the development and upbringing of our children and that should be our main task: love them unconditionally as they are, above the expectations we have with them. If children feel the love of their parents, they will be more secure to cope without fear of trial and error; Nobody or grandparents can replace us in this task so we can not delegate it to anyone.


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Recognize and accept how they really are



  With its qualities and defects, with its capabilities and limitations, with its successes and failures; leaving aside the aspiration to be perfect but giving value to its essence as human beings and to each of its stages: when they are happy, sad, when they are generous or completely selfish. But to recognize them, we must observe them, know them and consequently spend time with them, leaving aside the references and comparisons, helping them to discover themselves as unique people with their own and particular characteristics.

FINAL REFLECTION

   The perfect mother or father does not exist, nor is there a manual to raise our children because we are all unique. In summary, being a parent only requires love, presence and quality time (but not quantity) with our children. A time in which there are no obligations or things to do, or goals to achieve, a time together as a family where we can connect and empathize, feel that we want and accept, that is, enjoy that experience without any distraction. I hope you liked it and Happy Family Day ...

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