Dads Don't BabysitsteemCreated with Sketch.

in #family6 years ago

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Is it just me that think's that its wrong when a dad refers to looking after their children as "babysitting the kids"

That's what today society has created. When do you ever hear a mother say she is babysitting her children. Never and where more likely to question her if she did. But when fathers say "sorry mate i can't as i'm babysitting" we just shrug it off like its normal.
We as dad's have just as much responsibility to our children as the mothers in their life and we should as a nation of parents start closing the parental equality gap.

Equality Gap

So how has society created this equality gap, well lets start with when a child is born.
Obviously a man can not carry a child to birth, that's human nature and i sure i don't have to explain this to you but we can do everything in our power to make it easier for your partner to get through the nine months.
preparing the nursery, accompanying your partner to appointment's or doing most of the share of house work and day to day tasks, what ever it is, it's the least we can do.
When the child is born and stress begins it's even more important that as a couple you team together to tackle the straining tasks of parenting like sharing feed times, changing mucky bums, winding and getting them to sleep and so on as these are the hardest and most challenging part of any relationship.
More and more dad's of the modern age are getting involved in the parenting of their children so why do we as a society not see this.
An employer has to allow a mother 52 weeks maternity and can pay then up-to 90% of their average earnings a week for at least 6 weeks of that and then for the remainder of the time they receive statuary maternity or 90% which ever is lower.
Now lets look at paternity leave for the dad, well it's quite a shift in balance as we as dads are entitlled to 2 consecutive payed paternity, which has to be taken at one time only and unlike mothers do not get full pay when attending antenatal appointments. Yes there is shared paternity that the UK government has brought out back in 2015 but this does not give employers a strong enough employment law to obliged to. So we settle for being the bread earner and let the mother do most of the day to day stuff at home and that is why ( at least in my mind) the parental equality scale rests mostly on the mothers side and we as dads are just the babysitter.

We need to wake up and smell the dads

I am a firm believer that shared leave shouldn’t mean the mother had to sacrifice her time, and that it is time the governments realised the importance of giving dads the time to bond with their children and to support the mother in those initial weeks. my partner had to have a cesarean wit both of her births and was not able to lift anything for the first two weeks, luckily for us she has a close family that helped her when i had to return to work but i can't say that would be the case for others. We as dads are parents too and are effected just the same so lets wake up society and teach the next generation how to balance the parental scales.
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my dad used to babysit me and yes he called it babysitting. nothing wrong with it as mums also call it babysitting. my dad is a hero for me so heyyyy for the dads. woohoo

What ever we call it, it don’t change the level of care we give or received. Thanks for your reply and keep steeming

What really annoys me are those commercials when September rolls around and the parents in the commercials seem ecstatic that the kids are going back to school.

As a single Dad there was no babysitting. Just full time parenting on my part.

I know what you mean. There’s a lot more hard work involved as a parent when the kids go back to school. Me and the kid’s love the holidays

First of all, as father, I was the one in the family who was most 'emotionally present' for my two daughters, both adults now. Their fondest (if not theirs, certainly mine) memories of their childhood was of us playing together. Who was babysitting whom?

Secondly, I like the gist of this conversation ... From now on, 'pay gap' ought to spark 'paternity leave gap?!' conversations, I think that could be key to 'leveling the playing field' for both issues!

Exactly my point on the pay gap issue it’s like why should we have to put the toilet seat down? Who puts it up for us haha. What I’m saying is if gender pay gap is an issue that needs putting right then so is everything that falls in the same category. As a union rep for my employees, I was often involved in pay disputes and negotiations and every matter of pay from salaries to sick pay etc was on the table. I will not need paternity leave anymore in my life but I would like to think that those who do need it be giving a fairer option for the children’s sake.
Thanks for reading and keep steeming

Oh yes!! That 'toilet seat' matter, if we're allowed to turn an emotional manipulation into a rational discussion, leads to your conclusion. Talking about gaps, in the states here I'm sure we have a great deal of health insurance actuarial data indicating who in the collective, as a whole, are the benefactors and who are the beneficiaries ...

To which a Post Modernist 'identity politician' may resort to emotional manipulation with a popular quip among them these days, 'Check your privilege!'

To which I would reply, without getting too far into male disposability and how shall we 'deconstruct the patriarchy' such that that unfortunate circumstance of the human condition could be more equitably distributed, I would simply retort, "I have checked my privileges, just like an Irishman under Queen Victoria checked his potatoes. Too few to be of any substance!"

Отличная статья. Узнал много нового.

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