I really enjoyed reading your article. And I understand you, a lot! I too have a problem with this, I always try to please my family and when I think I've done something that makes me less perfect, I get really nervous, I'm so screwed up that I can't do anything, so the first thing I do is to ensure that everything is ok between me and them. Since last year I kept improving at this, at not caring too much. My family is still getting used to it, but I tried to explain them the reason. I too have a big support, in my future husband. He made me realise that I'm suffering too much in trying to please everybody and he helped me in becoming less dependent on others opinion of me.
It's not the same situation, as I don't have kids. But I'm really scared that I'll become a little bit obssesed with them... so I'm planning to laten their birth, haha :D