drjax wins the Cincinatti Potato Peeling Championships - Feb 10th 2018

It was a close run competition in Tupping Hall, downtown Cincinatti. Billy 'two shoes' Riley had been in serious training for three months and was only 2 seconds behind drjax even though he dropped his 5th potato. The winning time for the 11 potatoes was 2 minutes 35 seconds, a record breaker.

Maureen T Wildshoot came in four seconds after Billy, complaining about the sharpness of her Japanese steel peeler. She claimed it had been blunted on purpose by ‘someone’.

There was considerable controversy after the match as Arthur Spoonbill accused the organisers of inaccurate surface area measurements on several of the potatoes resulting in significant time loss for Arthur and Jimmy Nut.

It was concluded that he was just a bad loser as for 14 days, an immense variety of potatoes was assembled and measured. The competitors were assigned 11 potatoes of the same surface area give or take a lockspan or two, 2 minutes before the start klaxon.

drjax, whose real name remains unknown, was a last minute addition to the competitor cohort. He was extremely excited to have won the first prize of a month in Tahuata. This is the smallest of the inhabited Marquesas Islands in French Polynesia, an overseas territory of France in the Pacific Ocean. It is located 4 km to the south of the western end of Hiva Oa.
He said he’d probably take a few pictures and try his hand at peeling a few tropical fruit, including local breadfruit, mangoes, custard apples and pawpaw. Lucky boy.

Good on ya drjax hope to see you next year…