If Jesus was born today ...

If Jesus was born today ...

That would give the following "one" in all the newscasts: "Yesterday, December 24, a" newborn "was found in a stable. The police immediately went to the scene and used the SAMU.

A carpenter and a minor (presumably the mother) were placed in police custody.

This morning very early, the authorities were informed by a citizen of the suburbs of Bethlehem that a family of S.D.F had settled in his barn.

Upon arrival at the scene, the police discovered a newborn baby wrapped in pieces of tissue without proper hygiene and sleeping on straw litter.

The carpenter, later identified, Joseph (of Nazareth), opposed the authorities taking the child to the safe place.

He was helped by several shepherds and three undocumented aliens. These three foreigners, presenting themselves as magi, were arrested. They are liable to reconstruction of a dissolved sect.

The Ministry of the Interior is questioning the origin of these three men probably en route to Calais. The prefect confirmed that they had no identity papers but that they had gold, as well as suspicious and illicit products. They claim that God told them not to answer questions ... The suspect products were sent to the laboratory for analysis.

The place where the newborn is currently present has not been communicated.

According to the social service in charge of the case, the father would be about fifty while the mother is certainly not major. We check for the moment the relationship between the two. But in the absence of suspicion of pedophilia, the diversion of minor is very suspected ...

The mother is currently at the Bethlehem University Hospital for medical and psychiatric examinations. She claims to be still a virgin and asserts that the baby comes from God. If her mental state permits, she will be indicted for non-assistance to anyone in danger.

The consumption of narcotics, probably brought by the three foreigners, must undoubtedly be taken into account in this case.

Blood samples and blood samples were also taken to retrieve the DNA fingerprints required for the investigation.

At the latest news we learn that the shepherds present say they saw a great man, dressed in white, who ordered them to go to the stable before flying mysteriously.

No hypothesis is excluded, like that of embarkation aboard a UFO which is not excluded ...

- The opposition has outraged that the government is not putting in place sufficient protective measures to prevent any UFO from flying over our airspace. They are asking for a parliamentary inquiry.

- The greens recall that making a wood fire in a barn is a source of pollution ...

- The far left denounces this wild capitalism which increases the rents and prevents the modest families to have a decent housing.

- The President stated that, since his election, the Government had opened numerous new reception places to avoid leaving families on the streets while his predecessor had suppressed them.

A Crisis Staff was set up under the direction of Prefect Herod, the authority fearing a conspiracy whose rumors had persisted in recent times.

We will also be able to follow the live images on BFM télé ... and, at 5.30 pm, "It's up to you" will organize a debate on the theme "Can we still give birth in a stable today? "In the presence of several guests:

- our confrere of liberation author of an investigation on "the street for all life",

- a sociologist teaching at the Institute of Political Studies, a specialist in social precariousness,

- the writer Hugo Victor who wrote "Les Miserables"

- and by Mr Pilate Ponce representing the Government

And, finally, after a medical examination, the minor girl was indeed recognized as virgin, the couple was placed in custody for child abduction ...