Weight of fact
Why do people always want to change others. Because the cost of changing others is low, because changing others can make yourself look "great."
Human nature has a weakness: due to the limited scope of attention, everyone notices only the part he wants to pay attention to. Because of this limitation, sometimes facts are not that important for a certain period of time.
In an experiment, Mexicans and Americans quickly scanned two sets of photos. One is a baseball scene familiar to Americans, and the other is a bullfighting scene familiar to Mexicans.
As a result, 84% of Americans have only watched baseball, and 74% of Mexicans have only watched bullfighting.
This is called selective attention in psychology.
This allows us to form a fixed model of behavior and cognition. On the one hand, it saves time and energy like autonomous driving, but on the other hand, it also brings cognitive limitations:
People often only see the parts that are good for them, not the flaws and loopholes, and then subconsciously think that they are right
However, when a person focuses on the shortcomings and loopholes of others, he selectively conceals the desires of others and thinks that others are wrong. Therefore, we believe that indisputable facts are often only partial facts.
When two people are unable to convince each other, logic and facts become less important, emotions eventually prevail, and both sides feel that they are hurt, which leads to the alienation of the relationship. The facts from both sides are not as important as they say! In the long history, the facts that we ignore often change the history itself. The light weight affects people's livelihood, and the heavy weight makes an empire collapse!
Attempting to change others is usually in vain. Because it is the case, it will not change because of the lotus flower in your mouth.
Tolstoy said: "There are only two kinds of people in the world: one is a waiter and the other is an actor. Most people want to change the world, but no one wants to change themselves."
Changing others and changing yourself are the two main problems in this world.
Change the things that can be changed, accept the things that cannot be changed, and life will become clearer. The weight of facts is the sobriety that has been experienced, and the true value can only be known by respecting the facts!
The only thing we can change is ourselves. No one will be willing to change for you, even though you are infinitely looking forward to being the center of the entire universe. The shelter of a leaf cannot make the original existence become nothingness.
There was a master who lived in the mountains for a long time and practiced the "Dafa Mountain" for decades, and finally achieved positive results.
After hearing this news, someone came to visit the apprentice and asked the master religiously:
"Master, what kind of magic did you use to move the mountain away, and how should I practice it?"
The host answered with a smile:
"Practicing this magical technique is very simple, as long as you master one point, that is, if the mountain can't come, I will pass."
Therefore, when you cannot change others, the most effective way is to change yourself. When you learn to let go of complaining and anger, please make changes yourself. You will usually find that other people also change things. Moving in the right direction. What we need to do is to respect the fact itself, and any coercion is to deceive ourselves. Only by respecting the facts, all efforts can reflect the value!
Respect is always easier than control.
Changing yourself is the best way to change others and the whole world.
On the road to change others, there are deserts and seas of bitterness. In the way you change yourself, what you get is happiness and abundance. The fact itself is not what angle you stand at, but whether you choose the right direction!