How to make the best of Social Media without getting Sucked into the Abyss

in #facebook6 years ago (edited)

It’s easy to find criticisms of social media these days. We all complain about it and yet almost all of us use it. In my last post, My Awkward Relationship with Social Media, I talk about my own issues with social media and the way it seems to dominate our social live, as well as certain ways in which it benefits our lives.

Social media giants do not have our best interests at heart, and addiction is addiction, but the way social media can connect us across borders and allow us to spread information and ideas is undeniably positive. Whether or not the net impact of the technology is positive or negative is up to us. We have the ability to shape our culture by how we act and interact. If we want to see a change, we have to start with ourselves.

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addiction

I want to explore some ways that we can have a healthier relationship with social media. If we make some small changes to the way we behave we can encourage others to do the same start a new culture around social media that feels much better and enhances our lives. That sounds cheesy...but I mean it!

A better way to use social media

Work to overcome your own addictions

It’s easy to complain about the way other people act but have you taken a look in the mirror? Do you use social media as a genuine means to connect? Is there anything else you’d rather be doing but feel to lazy to do? Is your feed the first thing you jump to every time you have free time? Social media is made to be addictive, and replaced television as the number one go-to for when we don’t want to think. This may be ok for a few minutes a day, but the more you do it, the more you want to do it. Chances are, you are addicted to some degree. You might want to try a few days or weeks without it. If this is difficult for you, it’s all the more reason to try. Don’t use it as a cheap way to avoid putting effort into things you care about.

On the other hand, don’t use the fact that you are not addicted to social media to allow you to get trapped in another addiction. I’ve met many proud people who are not addicted to their feeds, instead they’re addicted to checking coinmarketcap, or watching YouTube videos, or reading the news compulsively, or playing games, or rolling tobacco, or even cleaning. Well congratulations to you for being too good for social media, but if you are putting off anything you are passionate about or not sure what you are passionate about, it’s really the same thing to me.

Make your priorities priorities

I am on steemit a whole lot. I also use Facebook a fair amount. Still, I feel like 80% of the time, I am using social media for sincere reasons, rather than addiction. How do I know? Because I don’t put off the things I care about or avoid responsibilities in my physical life. I usually have 2-4 tasks that I want to accomplish that day, whether it be work on a story, write a song, do some promotion, arrange something, contact someone I need to talk to or study something. Some of them involve social media and some do not. The point is, if they are important to me, help me in some way, or help someone else in some way, they usually come first before I start messing around with my feed or fall into any compulsive habit.

Find your passions

Some people use social media as an excuse to not work on their passion, whether it be music or exercise or fiction or photography or meeting new people or learning about the world. Other people can’t find their passion because they are too busy in social media. This becomes a vicious cycle: No passion because too busy on social media, too much social media because no passion.

Get out! Try new things! Get out of your comfort zone! Explore! This will cure your social media addiction in no time!

Post Less and make it good

While there may be incentive to post more at steemit because there is money involved, there isn’t much incentive to post more at Facebook. Nobody REALLY cares about what you ate today, your random urges to say stuff in a public forum, or where you went today (unless it is so totally super unbelievable awesome). They are only liking or commenting on your posts out of habit, to remind you that they are alive and possibly even hoping that you notice their posts and therefore think about them more, increasing their social value by making them more relevant.

It’s fine to want to keep up with what’s going on, stay involved, and remain relevant (even if it’s ridiculous when we NEED social media to do this), but if we all post 10 times a day, it will take a whole lot more work to keep up with everything. If we all post once a day or, even better 2-3 times a week, that make it easier for us to stay engaged with more people with less effort. It’s like littering. You may not think one person makes a difference, but one person can influence others. Share these ideas I a friend.

Utilize the aspects of social media that encourage community building

Rather than just scrolling through your feed or messaging friends cause you are bored, why not use all the other aspects of social media to help build more community. Engage with your friends pages, they are trying hard to get their name out there whether it’s an online store, or a band. Utilize groups on Facebook, it’s the only not creepy way to make friends with strangers. Introduce friends to each other through group chat. Start a group for likeminded people. Use it to promote interesting events (especially free ones!). Utilize chat more than your feed. Or spend more time on steemit than the others. ;-)

Use it to stay in touch with the people you don’t see every day, not the ones you do

We all seem to have bigger social circles these days and that’s fine. But what’s the point about hearing stuff on social media that you are going to talk about at dinner or in the office anyway. For me, Facebook is primarily a way to stay in touch with people who are far away.

If you want to socialize, just enjoy being outside. Nuff said.

Be honest about your reasons for using social media.

I said it in my last post, aside from steemit where I’m building community and making money, and facebooks messaging app where I stay in touch with faraway friends, I essentially just use social media to help promote my music and my fiction. There’s nothing with that so I might as well be honest. I care about what other people are working on too. I will check their pages. I am not going to pretend to care about other things that I don’t care about just to stay relevant, it would be a waste of my time and encourage more of a cult mindset towards social media where we are all addicted.

Anything you can do just as well offline, do offline. Anything that doesn’t serve a purpose, leave alone.

You know it’s stupid, don’t bother.

Invite your friends to do things that keep them off their cell phones.

Why not, right?

Let people wait

You don’t need to answer every message right away. This is a big one. The more accustomed we are to instant replies, the more we expect others to be glued to the phone, and the more we think we need to reply quickly, the more glued we will be to our phone. Show your friends you care and you aren’t ignoring the, in other ways. A simple explanation should do, or if you feel you were overly negligent when you missed something important, go out of your way to go visit them or call them!

Stay award of your surroundings

Don’t get so sucked into your phone that you don’t know what’s going on around you. Even when you are on the train talking to someone, take a break sometimes to appreciate where you are and that you are alive.

Invite friends to join social media that fits with your values

For many of us that may mean steemit but this is not just limited to steemit. When a company does something you don't like it's important to talk about it and to show your support for alternatives. This is the only way we can encourage better behavior by corporations. And of course, don't give them your money if they do things you don't like.

If some of us change the way we use social media, others will follow and the whole environment will improve, allowing us to live more balanced lives where social media does not dominate our every day but we can still enjoy the opportunities and conveniences it gives us.

...and if you are using anything other than steemit, follow me there :-D

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If you like what I do, check out my work at Patreon and consider becoming a Patron (or helping me find more Patrons by sharing this link on social media) so I can put more time and energy into fiction, music and community building. Some extra fiction and music will be over at Patreon and it's all pay-what-you-want. Thanks for any and all support!
If you want to chat, come join us to talk about deep shit in the Be awesome discord (no post promo!)
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Exactly. It is far too easy to get sucked into all the SM drama wasting precious time without being sure of our priorities

Prioritize priorities!!!

This is what I love about Steemit. I don't have to be posting all of the time to grow. I can earn more with a well though out blog post than I could with a day of Steepshot images.

I can pick and choose what I want to see and even build up a community of like minded individuals.

You actually grow more the more you engage with the community and make friends. :-)

Steemit is my only social media account but I wasn't aware how really addicted to it I have become until yesterday when It was down all day and I was hard-pressed to think of anything else to do.

I understand! I've been there! Recently even! Now I am managing to stay focused on writing stories and working out my songs....it took a while though! Find a passion project! Inject more passion!!

Love this post. I also feel like most of my time on social media is productive, but at the same time, I know there are times when I am spending too much time here instead of on other things. I love, "Make your priorities priorities". This is one I am taking to heart. If I did that, then I would feel much better about how I spend the hours of my day.

I love it when I get so much done before lunchtime, then the rest of the day I can literally feel good about doing absolutely anything, even if it's just spacing out or playing games.

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