Hello Esteemed Steemians!
Right now it is bright and sunny right outside my door. And sitting on the doorsteps ( I ain't entering that sun without a solid reason), I watched peple passing. The children hawking stuff, the shopkeepers attending to their customers, kids playing around and even strangers passing by. For a moment there, I got overwhelmed with the immensity of imagining the stories this people have, the lives they live, the dreams they have and all of that.
I had to go back into the house for a while and clear my head. And so I got to wondering what this feeling I just had could be called. Did some digging and turned up a number of emotions people feel, but cannot explain. Let me start with that which got me started in the first place.
The realization that each passerby has a life as vivid and complex as your own.
The awareness of the smallness of your perspective.
A conversation where everyone is talking but nobody is listening.
The tendency to give up trying to talk about an experience because people are unable to relate to it.*
The inexplicable urge to push people away, even close friends you really like.
A hypothetical conversation that you compulsively play out in your head.
The realization that the plot of your life doesn't make sense to you anymore.
The subtle but persistent feeling of being out of place.
The desire to care less about things.
A sadness that you'll never know how history will turn out.
Frustration at how long it is taking to get to know someone.
Frustration at photographing somethhing amazing when thousands of identical photos already exist.
The feeling of tranquility akin to being in the womb, felt when you are indoors during a thunderstorm.
The ambiguous intensity of looking someone in the eye, which can feel simultaneously invasive and vulnerable.
The bittersweet feeling of having arrived in the future, seeing how things turn out, but not being able to tell your past self.
The strange wistfulness encontered in used books shops.
Weariness with the same old issues that you've always had - the same boring flaws and anxieties that you've been gnawing on for years.
A state of exhaustion brought about by acts of senseless violence.
The desire to be struck by disaster.
The eerie, desolate atmosphere of a place usually bustling with people but now abandoned and quiet.
The disquieting awareness of your own heartbeat.
Yeah I know, some of those words look as if being able to pronounce it should be criminal, but it is what it is. Madeleine L'Engle, A Wrinle In Time succinctly expresses my opinion:
"I don't understand it any more than you do, but one thing I've learned is that you don't have to understand things for them to be."
Happy Weekend y'all!