Hi guys!
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It's quite a cold afternoon for me as it's raining here now.
Lying down on my bed,i just thought of what today and then i remembered those days i was growing up as a young girl.
MY EXPERIENCE GROWING UP
**
I was born into a family of six, 5 girls and one boy.
.
Being the first child of my family, i had a lot of expectations from my parents and relations as well.
As it was always said that the first child sets the pace for others to follow and so must show good examples for the younger ones to learn from.
Growing up wasn't funny at all, though i got all the love and attention from my parents but i had so much restrictions,i wasn't allowed to visit my friends,i wasn't allowed to interact with the opposite sex.
I wasn't allowed to attend social activities except church programmes.
Hmmm.......
MY REACTIONS
It wasn't funny like I said,but I would just bear the hurt after squeezing my face, i would still let it go.
It is annoying when you could have friends visit you but you couldn't also visit them at their place.
It is annoying when you have a senior friend doing her traditional and white wedding but you couldn't attend.
***But then I couldn't challenge my parents so just had to obey. ***
WHAT PERSONALITY DID THIS MAKE OF ME.
It made me an introvert,i think up till now, though not like those days, i have been quite exposed to some extent now,going into the university also helped unveiling the real me.
On the issue of the opposite sex, it was so very hard to get along and associate with them back then in my university school days.
I was also a very shy type back then, but thank God for leadership opportunities that helped shape me into who I am today.
I don't really blame them for what they thought was the best for me.
Every parents wants the best for their children though approaches differ.
On their own case they felt not exposing me to social activities,opposite sex and outings was going to make me cultured and decent.
The truth is that the succeeded in getting what they wanted from me as their daughter but i still feel it isn't the best way to train a child.
I am what I am today not because of all the restrictions but because personally i decided that i was going to be useful, i decided that i was going to succeed.
Not just for anyone but for myself,perhaps if i didn't make this decision, the story would have been otherwise because i had several opportunities to misbehave, believe me I did!
I feel that children should be taught virtually everything they need to know at every stage of their lives.
Don't allow them to discover certain things or hear somethings from outsiders because they may not be given the right interpretations, and they may also be mislead by others.
They should know why they shouldn't be involved in certain things and also the adverse effects of such.
Once a child is able to differentiate wrong from right, i think the child could be allowed to socialize with his or her peers.
I have still seen cases of children been restricted and then they later turn out to be wild as soon as they get the slightest opportunity.
Some parents restrict without even giving reasons of the need to do so.
An adage says " When purpose is not known,abuse is inevitable".
And this is what is likely going to happen.
Parents and parents to be, please expose your children to the world out there!
The world is revolving and we are no longer in the olden days where such practices was working for our fore fathers.
Be their counselor, let them learn to trust and confide in you because once you get them to that point, you wouldn't have anything to worry about, as they would always come to you for counsel before doing anything they are not used to.
Obviously you can't achieve this if you are never there for them or if you pay less attention to their needs!
Remember it was my decision back then that helped me today,never the approach
Your contributions and or questions would be much more appreciated
I still remain @cherylsonty!
Keep steeming!
You are even lucky they allowed you attemd church programs and even let your friends visit you... I had no such opportunity. When you think you are worse, look left and right #smiles
Really, i can't even imagine how yours was like, you will tell me more about it.
Useful lessons learned indeed. Thanks for sharing your life experience with us.
Thanks too for stopping by dear
Well spoken dear. I had a similar experience as yours but I realized all what my parents did was for my own good. The restrictions made me a better person and do not regret being restricted today. Thanks for sharing this with us...
We kinda share similar upbringing conditions. But then, what we become is not only the result of growing up under strict conitions. Like you said its a function of personality and choice. I know of people who were raised under strict backgrounds but turned out different in life.
There's one thing God has blessed everyone with. That Is the power of choice. You are not disadvantaged at all. Glad that you've found your purpose and also direction for your life.
Wow, thanks so much for your contribution. Am glad i made it
Nice piece @cherylsonty. I do agree with you that no matter the restrictions, a child who will be wild and wayward will be.
Though the way of upbringing helps guard a child in the right ways of life, but the decision to be a better person rest solely on that child.
I am one person that believes that exposing a child helps better than shielding the child. Because the moment the child is expose, he/she will never know the right decision to make.
Well said ma, thanks for your contribution.
Nicely said. I have encountered one or two people that were locked up back then in sseondary school days. And now in the university they are just so wild.
Restrictions aint the best way to bring up a child, freedom is part of the human rights, a child has the decision to make by him/herself. Like they say you can take a horse to the stream but can't force it to drink.
Beautifully said my dear, a point would always come when a parent wouldn't be in total control of their child.