Ulog: distraught

She walked over to me and I could swear she meant to hurt me, her cold hand rested on me as I sweated it out. My soul was caught in this madness that we call emotions I dribbled past the ostensibly fading consciousness that is my sanity. On top of the whole thing was this weird ache in my balls, I can't seem to fathom where it came from but I really considered chopping off my own dick to stop the pain.
She looked me right in the face and said "what would you like to order sir" and offered me the menu, oblivious of what her bosoms were doing to this sad, lonely and horny man. I was captivating by her effervescent beauty; "give me water I said", continuing, " and then beer in 10 minutes, by the way, you're really pretty, when do you get off?" She smiled and walked away. My heart was caught, I was discombobulated! My mind went blank and I couldn't see straight any more, nothing mattered but the new love of my life. If only I had the words to say, if only.
I thought up some random slurs to hut her with but nothing came through, I think I'm in love and I don't care what my wife thinks. I'm lost.