"I am obsessively jealous over my boyfriend. Is it normal and what can be done?"
Dear Nomad-magus,
I am 22 years old and I have been with my first real boyfriend for two years now. We have an excellent relationship, I love him very much but there is one issue that is problematic – trust. I always find myself jealous over him and with no reason at all. Despite the fact that he has never cheated on me, that he doesn’t have female friends and that his colleagues at work are all men, I still have the feeling that he is cheating and therefore I always have to know of his whereabouts, who is he with, what is he doing etc. I am even jealous of his relationship with his own sister!
Evidently he feels that and comments on my behavior but I am really obsessive and it frustrates me so much. Am I sick? What can I do?
Thank you,
Alicia
Credit: cosmo
Alicia,
Rest assured, you are not sick.
Jealousy, especially at a young age before selfhood is fully developed, is a natural feeling like any other emotion. As such it has the right to be felt and expressed and as long as it exists to the appropriate, loving and gentle extent it shows the deep connection with your loved one.
It is true though that an unbalanced jealousy can ruin even the most wonderful relationship. Your belief in the infidelity of your boyfriend may indeed manifest itself in your subjective reality. If you continue to think, fantasize and imagine that your boyfriend is cheating on you then you will sooner or later experience such a break of trust! Someone in your life - not necessarily your boyfriend - will eventually betray you in some unexpected way.
Therefore you should begin to tackle your issue of jealousy, to understand where it comes from and to release it from your energetic field.
Jealousy almost always comes from a belief that the individual is weak, powerless and not worthy of what life has to give. These people perceive themselves as innately lacking something that they cannot gain by their own efforts. Therefore, they feel frustrated because of their seeming incompetence and reflect anger and hostility toward those who they perceive hold the power. Such individuals will never gain inner tranquility unless a thorough self-examination is conducted.
Check with yourself – what do you lack? Beauty? Warmth? Knowing how to love and be loved? Good qualities?
Do you believe that you are good enough for your boyfriend? Do you believe that you are wonderful and amazing and as loveable as you perceive him to be?!
Are you self-reliant? Do you love yourself?! Do you believe that you have the power to create and change your reality?!
As soon as you develop, from within and using your inner source that sustains and creates you, a true knowingness regarding who you are, you will feel safer and more sure about your existence. The jealousy will have nothing to hold onto then and will therefore automatically dissolve.
Good luck!
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