Feminists and their March for Equality.

Re:Re: in response to Christy from Facebook.

I don't know who Christy from Facebook is, I don't know why she didn't march, I never seen the Facebook post, but I did see the viral response to her message about not needing to march with all of the women who did.
I saw plenty of posts explaining why women feel the need to march for equality, some of them pictures of a blind woman, stories of wheelchair bound women, etc. They're tear jerkers for sure. Being a woman, I can understand some of the reasons these women may believe it's necessary. And though I am sure they are out there, I have yet to see one personal story as to what these women are thinking as they march along side one another.
I find it strange that it is so hard to give even a brief version, and not because of men, not because I am oppressed, but because the very women marching for equality, will be the ones to try to bash me for being a woman who is different than they are.
And let's begin with this. I did not come from privilege. I came from a long line of abuse. Physical and very traumatic abuse. I watched my little brother at the age of 4, as my dad threatened to kill our mother. I watched him hurt her, and then turn his rage to my brother and I. For years we suffered in silence because of evil that was left unspoken of by adults. I have dealt with rape, the after effects of it and being revictimized by a system that was just as mentally draining as the rape itself. I felt lifeless and completely alone. I was once again silenced.
Shortly after, I entered the military. Once again, an incident with the date rape drug in a different country, and alone, as a barely passed 18 year old girl, left me walking into a doctors office only to hear from an out ranking officer that I should "not make too much out of it: because the important thing is that you are going to be ok, and we can't afford to damage morale." Mind numbingly, I figured she must be right. 9-11 had happened and I shouldn't be so selfish. There were bigger things going on in the world than rape. So I went on about my life. Again, silenced.

I felt voiceless. I let it build up, I drank away the pain. I imagined a life with some amount of justice, but that's where it stayed. In my head. There was no justice.
Not long after that my little brother was killed. A few months after he told me how much my fathers abuse had done to him. When I watched him in tears as he explained his pain. All those years, and he was so... silent.
And a few short months later, in his death, he is once again... voiceless.

It's one thing to type it, and to read the briefest version of your life in a small paragraph, but I can tell you, it's a whole other world to live it. To feel uncertain that you will take a next breath because you are overpowered, to have someone who is supposed to protect you, actually be the one to harm you & everyone around you.
So trust me when I say this... I understand why you BELIEVE you need to march....
but I am telling you why, I do not need you marching for a woman like myself. I do not feel the need to march myself, and I will not praise your march.
I didn't brief you on my life because I need your sympathy, or because I need your voice. I don't. I am a woman with a family and I have No one oppressing me now. Do you know why? Because I am not a child, I am not helpless and I am not weak. I am a survivor in every sense of the word and it's about time that more survivors stand out.

Women throughout history have fought for rights, I get it. But modern day feminism is turning more and more into a bane on society. It's destroying families. It is not asking for equal rights, it is demanding that men stop oppressing women, by oppressing the men who aren't kissing your ass.

It's hearing the word pussy, and being SO offended by it, that you're going out into the world to be twice as vulgar just to prove a point... what point?
That you can say words that make pussy look like a rose garden? You can make fun of a man's penis size but he can't talk about grabbing a vagina?! It's not like you're being censored... it's that you want to censor the people who don't agree with you.
Could you imagine if a million men marched to stop feminists from talking nonsense with other feminists? You would all be outraged. And I know, that's not the only reason you're marching...
But do half of you even know why you're marching. Rape culture? Planned parenthood? Equality? Cause it will totally be on the news?
What is it exactly that you pissed off feminists are so upset about anyways? Any personal stories on how oppressed you are? We are living in the United States for crying out loud. If you are oppressed, I think you should reconsider your strategy.

So, Let me see-
You don't agree with rape culture, because women aren't sex objects. And in the next breath, I see someone validating the porn industry and the women involved in it. "We are sexual creatures too! Not just men!" "Just don't look at me after I had a 3 some with 2 penises invading my genitals, because I am Not a piece of meat!"
Um.... ok?
That is the most batshit crazy logic I have ever heard.

Abortion- here's the thing ladies. It takes 2 people to make a baby. I'm not getting into extreme cases here, I am talking about the women who use abortion as a birth control form. We get it ok, we all own our own bodies! But not everyone wants to fund your choice of birth control! Sorry this doesn't appease you. But that's too damn bad. Again, feminist logic....
"It's my body, I will do what I want". But then when it's time to foot the bill, you all look around like,
"Well.... what's yours is mine!" With a dumbfounded expression.
That's NOT the way reality works!

You all are out of your minds if you believe that you are being silenced. You are standing on capital hill the day after a presidential inauguration, ranting and raving, and guess what?!!
NO ONE STOPPED YOU.

Do you have a clue what being silenced even means? Silence doesn't scream from D.C. Ok?

You're not breaking the silence. You're just being obnoxious. Especially to women who refuse to play the victim role.
Women who KNOW they are survivors. Women who still will not condemn every man because she has been hurt by men. Women who have been so broken that they had to claw their OWN way back to life because there were no "sisters" marching beside her when she was alone. It's easy to say you'll be there super loud, but I can assure you, it doesn't work that way when it's time for you all to really Have to do something. I promise you ladies... you'll march for a cause, but you won't actually be there for another human. That part isn't televised. And you don't get to make super hilarious signs for it.

Silence is broken when a little girl or boy has to stand up to adults by telling his/her story to police so that an abusive family member can be taken out of their home.

Silence is broken when a young woman or man decides to step up to the same justice system that failed him or her when it was needed the most.

You have a voice that people hear when you stop treating everyone you meet like they are exactly the same as someone who hurt you.

Silence is broken when we start teaching our children how to treat others who are different than us, by teaching them understanding and the value of communication.
You don't teach a child to scream to get their way. You teach them that communication is the key to being a civilized adult.

When you stop treating the opposite gender like they do not have an equal role in parenting. You treat a man like a paycheck, and eventually he feels like that is just what he is.

And here's the thing. I don't hear one of you talking about the children growing up in broken families. I don't see any of you getting together to march for keeping children's lives stable. For making sure both parents (whatever gender, straight gay, I don't care) have an active role in their lives. Where are the millions of women marching for the kids who are on this planet already that need your help?!!! Did you forget about all of them after they came out of YOUR body?

Where are the marches for the importance of our education system? The lack of education our kids will suffer from?

How about for the steady decline in our healthcare system? The amount of money that hard working people are forced to pay to keep their kids insured?

And Where are the marches for the people who work day and night keeping families together? The ones who bust their asses every day paying so much money into taxes to pay for all of these government programs that everyone relies on so much?

I bet it's because we are privileged right?
Wrong. We don't march because we are too busy being grown ups. Living in the real world where we are forced to listen to people whine about trivial nonsense.

We are too busy feeding our families and growing businesses to hire people who will complain about their paycheck instead of growing one themselves.

We aren't making excuses for our lack of this or lack of that. We are living. Trying our best to keep bellies full, families at the dinner table together and as much happiness and education as we can provide for our kids.

Because instead of marching for the times when we were kept silent and voiceless, we are accepting that bad things happen, but they're not permanent. We aren't oppressing other humans and excusing our own bad behavior. We take responsibility!
And We sure as hell aren't yelling at the White House to save us. We are changing the futures for our children.

So, no I'm with Christy from Facebook, and there are a lot of us out here. And we definitely don't need to march for equality, and you can save your shoes, because we surely don't need you to march for us either.