Let's Be Human - Is your idea of leadership really true?

Have you ever wondered why some of your friends or people in office seemed like they have better leadership qualities than you? Have you ever been how a leader should be?

I noticed that when I talked to people, I realized that most people have someone they look up to and also someone they hate who are in a leadership position. And we are all taught how a leader should be, what you need to do to become a leader. Well at least I was and I wondered about it for a long time. And the interesting thing is a person whom other people consider a leader and someone to look up to, they don't really entitled themselves as a leader. But a person whom are in a leadership position by hierarchical culture and are hated or feared is always entitled themselves a leader and preach about it, demand it from other people.

And I realized that we often feel this huge gap between how a leader is supposed to be, how only some people other than themselves can be a leader while we ourselves doubt that we can one day become a leader or have that admiring qualities.

So I really thought about our common beliefs about how a leader is supposed to be. I think we often believe that a leader is someone who is born and natural at being a leader. Well this could be true to a certain degree that some people naturally tend to have more desire to strive to grow, win, dominate others, forceful, etc. I think the domination is the key word in this case. A person who is above all else. And I think this is a reason why most people feel the gap that where they are now and where some is, you can never shorten that gap. And they come to believe that they are just born different and are just born lucky to have all those qualities.

But what I realized is none of it is true. It is all an illusion. People who we consider successful are the people who really got to learn about themselves deeply. They strived and went through hardships, suffered more than most people but they didn't give up. They decided that they will turn it as their breakthrough and an opportunity to really turn inwards and reflect on themselves. What they are made of, the areas that they need to improve on that they are doing wrong. They face these well and are honest with their vulnerabilities and weaknesses. But also they recognize and credit their strengths and focus on strengthening and utilizing those areas more. Basically understanding their personality.

I used to think for a long time based on social conditioning from what I learned in school and from my parents and the people around me criticizing certain characteristics or my passions and condemning it as something of a liability. For instance, my interests are pretty diverse from anything creative like art, music, fashion, architecture, cooking, flowers, travel, to something more academic like business strategy, management, leadership, personal development and my mom always used to say you should just focus on one thing and it's not good to have that many diverse interests. I know that she didn't mean it to discourage me or harm me. But later on I came to realize it was her own self image that she didn't see her as a success or didn't accept herself as who she is and always thought she was in lack. This belief or her self image was projected onto me that having too many interests will distract your life and will not lead to anywhere. But it turned out all these gifts and natural interests were their for a reason. What I want to say from this is that I realized that all your qualities, interests, gifts and talents are there for a reason. Look closely into them and when you learn to accept them, you will be able to utilize it, not put it aside and seek that same talent else where. You are already sitting own your own opportunities to create your own luck.

Trust me, for quite a long time, it affected me and although I thought differently, I think subconsciously it influenced the way I see myself to a certain degree. So I realize sometimes even though we think we are not affected but we somehow are on a deeper level. That's why it is crucial that we look deeply into ourselves and dig a bit more on the things that affected our current belief system which is affecting the way we think thus affecting the choices we make. Because most of the case, our own belief system is what's hindering us from our own success. We need to reprogram this.

And this all comes down to what real leadership is like. It begins from your belief about yourself. That a leader is someone who isn't naturally born into it. That leader is someone who is not on top of anyone. That a real leader is someone who spent more time digging deep to understand themselves and have worked on themselves to be the better person that who he was in the past. That a real leader is not someone who dominates majority of people but someone with greater character, who is caring, loving, giving and striving to be an example. These real leaders create their own luck and a special spot in their life. They only believe in earning that.

When do you get inspired the most? What happens when you feel inspired and look up to someone? Do you want to be like them one day? Do you want to live the type of life they live? We often only see the glory, not the rut. These real leaders have worked harder than most people, struggled and came through more than most people, they understand more about themselves and life than most people. It's always what you get recognized in public has the basis of years of hard work and growth in private. But most people don't do this because they either do not believe they can or they feel lazy. They lack the hunger to be there.

So then I thought about why be human? Right? Because they understand what drives us at the core, our wants, needs, limiting beliefs, from studying who they really are and what life is all about, they always work on becoming their best version of themselves. They understand that when you are in a position of taking, self-orientation, we will never have an impact. Why do you admire certain people? We do mostly because of who they are. They are strong and loving. They are humble and always care about other people, you. They respect and make you feel powerful and important in this world. They really listen to you, they tune in to you and relate, help you solve your problems. They always give you words of encouragement and show you that you are in a negative cycle but this is how you can come to be more positive, they teach you for your own good, not for their glory. They are proactive. They will tell you, you messed up when you really did and that they always tell you the truth. So you can recognize and help you grow. They support you. They understand your pain because they have been there and have been digging deep to understand that level of pain themselves. Because of this, they are compassionate, empathetic and they provide emotional support, are kind and loving towards others.

And when I really thought about it, these are all our basic human qualities. That these are what we are really born with and everyone is born with these qualities. But along the way, we lost it somehow. Real leader is not someone who has many followers. But someone who inspires and can have an impact in this world by being the best version of themselves.

What is your current limiting belief? What is hindering you from believing that you lack certain qualities to be a certain person? Do you know who you want to become? What kind of person you want to be? What do you think you need to do to become that person? What do you need to do things differently? Have you made a decision to be different, better?

When you start to ask yourself these questions more and more, it will direct you to focus on working hard to become a better version of yourself. You are your best value proposition. You are your best asset. You attract as a result of who you become. And the best part is you already have all the right resources. How are you going to utilize them?