After so much searching, that point of your life arrives where you finally find that person that you firmly believe is your ideal partner. They start to go out, everything is going great, they work very well, and after a few years (or even months) they decide to get married and start a family. When we decide to marry, we do it under the illusion or the belief that this relationship will be for life, that marriage will be the ceremony that will finally seal that union and from there we can build a path with that special person.

sourcer

With time the children arrive, they are not only two, they are a family whose interests and needs must be watched, the road brings with it many changes, ups and downs, changes that when love and desire are still there, together they can face.

source

However, things do not always happen that way. There are couples that with time, routines, and among other things, end up realizing that maybe they are not that ideal couple they dreamed about so much, and that maybe it is better to follow their path separately.

But, when you reach that point where you as a couple understand that they no longer work, there is always the question of what to do or how to do with the children. Should we stay together for them? How to make them not suffer? Should I be friends with my ex? And a host of other questions usually arise at those times.

source

While each family is different and each person has a different coping style as well, there are certain things that we should know and put into practice before and after making this decision, rather than to alleviate the suffering, which in a way will be inevitable, for make the process a bit more calm and bearable.

Although we do not believe it this way or we do not see it that way, many times children prefer to have separated parents, to live with parents who are still together but who no longer love each other, or between whom the fights are constant.

Many times the suffering is less when the parents separate than when they decide to stay together for the "good of the children". What is important is that whatever the decision is and the terms in which the parents have been, the communication between the parents exists and is good.

Perhaps it is something difficult to think when the relationship has not ended on the best terms, however if we analyze it well, we will understand that maintaining good communication with the other parent will be really a decision for the "good of the children".

We must remember that parents are the main examples of children, therefore most of the things they learn are given by the attitudes and behavior of their parents.

The fact that as a couple they no longer understand each other does not mean that as parents they can not do it, by understanding and maintaining good communication beyond the couple's problems, they will be teaching their children adequate problem-solving strategies, they will be able to learn to be empathetic, assertive and respectful of the differences of others.

On the other hand, when there is poor or no communication between divorced parents, usually the most affected are children, regardless of age.

Sometimes we tend to think that when they are older they can better understand why dad and mom no longer talk to each other, and yes, although they may understand it better, this does not mean that it does not affect them in the same way, because no children or teenagers In the world, he would like his parents to live in conflict, and no matter what age they are, whether they are teenagers or preschoolers, they will always need both parents for their proper development.

source

Remember that both mom and dad perform fundamental functions in the growth process of children and the formation of their personality, so it is important that both can be present and on good terms.

Now, when the communication between divorced parents is good, perhaps at first the children will have a bit of trouble accepting it and adapting to the new life with separated parents, this process will be much more bearable because they will feel sure that both parents of the differences, they will be there to support and take care of them.

In addition to this, not only children are benefited when there is good communication between divorced parents, the whole family will do so.

As parents, although they are no longer a couple, they can continue to support the parenting process, which makes the work a little easier; it is not the same to be a single mother or father, to have the support of another person when raising children.

As people, they will feel much better knowing that despite the differences, they have the ability to put them aside and work for the common good, this will not only bring peace to the children, it will also bring peace and tranquility to the parents , since a person who lives with grudges or bitterness because of another, can hardly be calm.