The embodiment of love

Welcome to the space of inspired writing.
Below you will find my seasonal blog. As most of my writing, this one might require a space of no rush to digest and receive the message. So I’m inviting you to create that space for yourself, a space where our meeting can happen.

The topics of this piece of writing include:

❈ the power of recognition
❈ physical experience of love
❈ embodiment
❈ nothing was ever wrong
❈ and nothing else matters

May you all be well!

Enjoy the reading. As always, I am welcoming your personal reflections and feedback on these topics.

~ ✧ ~ ✧ ~ ✧ ~ ✺ ~ ✺ ~ ✺ ~

In awe with life - that’s where I’m finding myself now.

What happened? What has opened the doors into this world of beauty?

Beauty in all.

The whole body dissolves into deep gentleness.

And every movement in the world around is infused with special meaning.

Infinite beauty ~

in the sunlight reflected in the windows of the building across the yard,

in the whirling snow,

in the silent movement of the birch branches,

in the breath inside.

All is deeply touching.

I'm pondering, how can a human enter such a state of deep feeling and experience of life?

What has brought me here?

There was a call, a conversation, a space where no one rushes. When no one rushes, it’s safe for me. It’s often in such spaces that my body and inner being are able to exhale more deeply, relax and allow something very intimate to emerge.

#Recognition.

How much judgment I’d received and internalized for wishing a very basic experience of recognition in life. To be affirmed. To be in the beauty of other’s gratitude for my existence...

And here I was, unexpectedly, being recognized. I was in the presence of my sensitive friend, who kept reflecting back to me the truth about my nature and way of being in the world. She was reflecting the connections between my deeply sensitive nature, qualities, my vision and my needs. Not that I was hearing it for the first time, but the deep goodness of her attitude made a difference. There was no rush. The other person was giving me time. Perhaps it doesn’t mean much to you. To me it means the world. Gosh, so simple and so profoundly healing at the same time! Somebody was ready to be there with me, witnessing my emergence, for as long as was needed.

What made the difference?

I had the time to feel what recognition did to my body, the physical sensations of recognition, the chemical reactions it produced in me.

You know, we often try to attract certain experiences into our lives. The point is, it’s all in the body. If I don’t have the sensory benchmark of self-love in my body tissues, I don’t even know what I’m looking for. If one didn’t learn about love as a child, if one didn’t know how loving oneself felt like, how can she be looking to re-produce that feeling? She needs a reference.

So here I was, in a conversation, receiving that reference. All started to make sense. Connections, life synchronicities, the big why’s. My friend had just helped me to create an inner sensorial, energetic benchmark for self-love and acceptance. Now, having experienced what recognition by the other felt like in my body, I knew what to look for in the future. I could now reproduce it myself, more easily. Because once you’ve experienced something like that, it will keep calling you.

I was in awe. I saw how nothing was ever wrong. Things I’ve longed for, and often judged for, were the mere expression of my essential structure. Those were the qualities, things, environments, kinds of relationships that would simply allow my essence to bloom. I now had a possibility to own this simple truth with my whole body.

I got to see myself more deeply and more clearly. I didn’t need to be different. I didn’t need to be not me anymore. I knew exactly why I’d made certain choices in my life, why certain things hurt me deeply, why I could be uncomfortable, irritable, depressed, fearful. Not because “I haven’t worked through those issues yet” and I was still not at my highest level of evolution, but purely because those things or people were not supporting my essence to thrive.

As I could experience all of that with a new level of clarity, I suddenly felt myself forgiving. Peace and goodness emerged. Pains of the past became irrelevant. Deep, almost unperceivable guilt and shame became but a memory of how I used to relate to myself. All that mattered now was staying in the newly established connection to my core. All that mattered was being within myself and in the clarity of what was needed for that core to thrive and express creatively in the world. I call this embodiment.

I cried of beauty.

...of the beauty of all that surrounded me, and the beauty within, the beauty I’m longing to express. The beauty of deep vulnerability, sensitivity and openness, the ones that not only allow me to get dissolved in others and at times lose myself, but the ones that allow me to be like a clean sheet, an open channel through which nature, something so much greater than myself, can move and be expressed.

I knew that what I had a glimpse of was simply ~ love ~. I prayed to know what self-love would feel like, and my prayers were being answered. Love and the awareness of the connection to the source of divinity within were one and the same. There is nothing wrong, nothing to be fixed.

Recognition by the other is what allowed me the embodied experience of self-love, the learning of how love felt like in the body.
Recognition helps me thrive. For when I am seen, a dance comes, a song emerges, and I become the source of pure goodness, light and joy for the world. I bloom.

// Dedicated to all our sensitive hearts

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photo credit: mitch lensink on unsplash.com