{This post is part of many contests. This one being assorted with the 50-word tasker by @jayna, her's and @thewritersblock's 100-word contest and @vdux's Haiku contest, woo hoo! And of course the main one being, but pushed last, @tygertyger's "Electric Dreams" contest, twelveth iteration so far. Click here to see it... Just a normal sales pitch kiddos, so what an alien does it and all?... Tag along music for the post: "Peace and Tranquility" (A Hat in Time: Seal the Deal OST).}

Feet

If my feet only
could answer me in peril
and not be lamed now

{This part of the post is part of @vdux's Haiku contest. Click here to see it.}

If only

I'd been selling door-to-door, so I did in this fine suit, top-hat and spaceship with nothing awry until the stampede came. If my feet only could answer me in peril and not be lamed now. If only I'd chosen to wore boots or dress shoes instead of heels! If only...

{This part of the post is part of @jayna's 50-word contest. Click here to see it.}

The rescue

Now I stand before a raging bovine stampede, I'd pray for a miracle to come. I gasped for all the oxygen in the air as I saw the farmer, comforted with his fuzzy green slippers, blasting shells to the air! Stomping hooves redirected and my lamed legs spared - I stopped asking the ifs and granted my thanks to him. He and his wife chuckled as they helped me back to the spaceship - I finished writing off the last details and sold them the farming equipment. Another successful day! Hopefully my boss won't notice my limping leg...

{This part of the post is part of @thewritersblock's 100-word contest. Click here to see it.}

"Image source here"

- Just a sales pitch -

Today was liken to most of my selling days: eat, wash, dress up, gather my items up, stroll about a random neighborhood, knock, ask, get rejected or accepted and move on. The cycle never had changed, that much I knew - even when I went to differing climes like that of dry heats, pouring rain, clear grass plains, obnoxious gas fields and mountainous hills. From dusk to dawn, never a change in that unbeaten tempo; why to change what has effectively been a good schedule? I never had to ask, they'd let me do-all screw-all with such a schedule, just as long as I did what was necessary to keep them afloat. The commissions usually ranged, the more dangerous the selling area and the more profitable the yield, the better off I was... In earnest, I should write honest reports, yet they never do nor can check for my integrity. And as-such they pay for it by seeing all the negatives of an area and how much physical money I yielded from all my purchases, with that I rolled in nice green dough.

So confident in my stride, I picked some nice black heels to accompany my walk - these were killer footwear to have and I was planning to make a killing today! Oh so confident in my stride, I popped a cassette and played some good ole tracks - peace and tranquility dominated my mind for a great ole while! Ho ho! So confident I decided to even stop and take a few photos, then I realized where I had landed: the lush farming plots, grazing cattle eating under a blue sky, the wavy grass, the gravel country roads, the chill air, tractors ploughing about and... my hat-less head not having a top-hat! Rushing back and returning for my stroll, I checked twice my list and began knocking on each farmhouse door - lest a buzzer or gate blocked my dear path. And so I ran the rhythm, adjusting slightly to what I saw I could sell effectively and to the concerns of my sellers if I so could pick that up. And per usual, I got my fair share of door slams, fair share of considerations that I later squeezed into sales and then my fair crop of good sells.

Of course, there weren't only just the regular Joe farmer: the odd crop of female-only, extended-families and... well rather unkind and creepy people had dotted this community. Thankfully I had no trouble with getting through them, except for a few creepy ones I had to walk away - thankfully I wasn't stalked when I left their private property. Yet, close to high noon, I stumbled to what was the last house and I check my list twice - not one house was missing from my attentiveness or note taking but this. As I approached it, I noticed the many bovine in the area - gracious in their strides and not caring for my existence, for good or bad it worked out well that I wasn't a nuisance or threat to them. And still in my kind stroll, I noticed how compact the farmland was - no wasted space except for roads and maybe a fire pit for the regular odd job of pottery, cooking and the what not. Yet nowhere did I saw an item to really harp on or a thing that they didn't have that I did - maybe even having more than what I did or was able to sell. Yet I approached the door and knocked, so began my wait here.

Attentively I listened in, soon I heard the thunder of rushing feet trying to race to get to the door - and so soon it was opened, so soon did I saw a half-awake and rugged farmer. He apologized for the wait, for which I simply took it in and said was okay - I nearly was ready to sell 'til he noticed his bare feet and called to the house:

"Where are my fluffy green slippers!"

"Found them! You abandoned them in the middle of that flight, honey!"

"Thanks hon... oh sorry once more, the air is rather chilly out. Anyways,"

"Oh I sold to weirder customers in weirder areas, anyways I am a farm-equipment specialist. I noticed you have everything but I was wondering..."

"Hey ho! We actually don't, oh sorry. Anyways, we are running out on a few materials - like gas and the such. I was wondering if I could check that list of yours and just run it with my hon?"

"Oh no problem, just come back when you're done."

"Thanks very much, be back soon. Anyways, just avoid going near the cattle - they frighten and defend each other aggressively when a stranger comes by."

And soon the door was shut and I decided to rest on the porch, just taking in the view and breathing in the cold air. Taking down my last notes, I closed the packet and flipped through to file my report for this community. Despite a few houses to just avoid flat-out and maybe check a few years later, this was rather a successful first venture that needs to keep coming back. Playing our cards right, we might just be able to sell quite a lot here and I can already hear my salary increasing as my boss files back to HQ on new areas to expand business to. Heh, we might be here forever if we supplied them with just the right material that'll allow us to come back without fearing we'd be replaced or anything. But I still filed and filed away I did, yet soon I heard a cow snout huffing - turning my head to see an angry cow looking straight at me before cocking its head away to return back to the other bovine. Keeping weary, I kept my eye on them and decided to look around for quite a bit - despite the incident, the birds flew about chirping their music, the sun reached high noon finally, the sky remained blue and far off in the distance I saw tractors working on the clock to get their jobs done.

Shots began whistling about, soon I saw a thief running for his dear life while dodging the oncoming shotgun shells striking the Earth. Then and there I banged on the door to be let in, yet soon I saw angry bulls lining up and reading to trample me. Climbing was no option, the heels restricted that movement entirely; scaring them, they were tempted enough by gunshot; attempt to break-in, damn sure I want no black-mark on my record book yet! So ran I did, ran to the hills I damn sure did - never stopping to look behind and ask if I'd ran my due diligence, I could come back once the stampede was over and in the safety of my spaceship. But the time for the future wasn't now, the time to live now was what stole my attention, as I soon heard a raging stampede from behind and closing in hoof-by-hoof. My feet ached from not only the mere run but the balancing act I forced upon myself with these damn tight heels, oh what a mistake that was to not change my footwear to accommodate my travels on these country roads. Oh how confident was I to ignore basic fool-proofing of any dangerous trekking? Apparently to the point where I had lethal doses of hubris, that much was for sure.

Yet now I truly felt the pain, the farmhouse was out of sight and my spaceship oh so near. Yet the stampede still closed in on me and I so soon saw a car driving really quick behind their tails, but for what they mattered, I hadn't a clue. So I continued to increase my speed and wished for the best outcome that I just made it into the spaceship before they landed one hoof on the steps. Alas! My legs became lamed and so soon as I hoped was so soon I feel unto the Earth and rubbed my collapsing body to such. Skin, fabric and bones grinding against gravely stones and hard dirt, no sight to truly make beautiful lest slapstick comedy became involved. I tried crawling to the spaceship, but my legs imposed a heavy weight and anchored me hard to the Earth - I checked for anything that limited my movement, but only bruises and scrapes dare land on my skin and damaged clothes. Then I focused my hazy eyesight on the thundering hooves from afar, closing in fast and making storm out of the Earth - there again I saw a car whizzing by in the cracks of the stampede and I couldn't understand why my mind made a fuss out of it.

And now we come to here. I'd been selling door-to-door, so I did in this fine suit, top-hat and spaceship with nothing awry until the stampede came. If my feet only could answer me in peril and not be lamed now. If only I'd chosen to wore boots or dress shoes instead of heels! If only... Oh whom I was trying to ask, to which innocent third party do I wish to grant my questions to! If only I could move fast, but I am lamed because of cultural and bodily enforcement! If only I would not dare stunts, but how else to sell well! If only I had finished college and not decided to be a door-to-door salesperson, but now I have no control over that and the job pays well anywho! But again, to whom was I trying to ask?

Now I stand before a raging bovine stampede, I'd pray for a miracle to come. I gasped for all the oxygen in the air as I saw the farmer, comforted with his fuzzy green slippers, blasting shells to the air! Stomping hooves redirected and my lamed legs spared - I stopped asking the ifs and granted my thanks to him. He and his wife chuckled as they helped me back to the spaceship - I finished writing off the last details and sold them the farming equipment. Another successful day! Hopefully my boss won't notice my limping leg... Ah screw it, who cares if I'm lamed or not - my boss had seen way worse before and wouldn't really care that one employee will be temporarily lamed. My boss cares little of the employee lest they make him big, their activity threaten the integrity of the business or was legally compelled to give a snot... But what does that matter, I have enough money to write this dangerous job off to not care for my well-being lest my life was on the line... Any of which, I finally made it to the door and punched in the code for the hatch to swing open and for me to come in and close it. Locking every single lock and ensuring I had done all of them, I turned around and breathed the cool spaceship air.

And so I hobbled and hobbled back unto the spaceship command center, I pressed a few buttons and soon I was off travelling back to home. I would anyways have to make a physical stop to deposit all this money stored up here, so what better time than now as I sit here lamed? Seeing all the stars whizzing by and becoming undifferentiable into one massive light tunnel, I rested more easily and loosened my tie and took off my top-hat. Soon I undid even my pony-tail and unbuttoned my overcoat, my sales shift was done for now. Yet still I sat and saw the universe, oh how beautiful the little colored dots as they were strewn about painting the black canvas from afar. Oh how that black-hole mercilessly sucks up all that nears it, never stopping 'til it reached critical mass. Oh how often I saw these all and still gave a smirk, but the time was now to nap for the trip back home would take way too long and not enough to care for the following days. So I took off my earplugs and realized I had been listening to music the entire time - maybe justifying a few door shuts, but I choose to expunge that from my report and just hobbled to my sleeping quarters.

So I walked back to my sleeping quarters, soon taking off my heels and throwing them to the incinerator in this hallway - I saw the most convenient and useful upgrade ever since I replaced that beauty salon for that. And again I couldn't resist looking outwards, still I was in a light tunnel but dang it I couldn't resist ogling my eyes at the beautiful universe i was travelling in. Soon I reached my room and dressed into my night gown, not like I really could tell what is and isn't nighttime anymore, yet my drowsy eyes told me a different story. And soon I was lulled into that story and began adventuring in the mystical realm, unaware and not caring of what had recently transpired - and so soon the music of humming machinery and computational checking filled the dead quiet of the spaceship for which only my lil' robot Rumbi could generate so much noise when cleaning around.

{This part of the post is part of @tygertyger's electric dreams contest. Click here to see it.}

Cited posts:

@vdux- "Haiku Contest"

@jayna- "50-word tasker"

@thewritersblock- "100-word contest"

@tygertyger - "Electric Dreams no. 11"

Cited images

"Electric Dreams Cover art"