Love
took me a long time to graduate from a University . I knew though , that I'll do anything and put in as much work as needed to graduate . So when I finally graduated ; because that had been my goal for so long ; I felt lost , empty , and didn't know what to do next .
My self identity was a student for so many years that I clinched on to it and thought that me being a student wAs who I was . After graduation I was no longer a student . I no longer had a self identity . It made me depressed and lost sight of any other goal.
This happens to most of us and it has happened to all of us at some point in our life . We think certain roles make up our identity and we cling on to it so strongly that we think we are born a certain way and that it's almost impossible to change .
That is our ego . Our ego is self identity and it's doing more damage than the eye first meets .
If we self identify with a role in the universe like a being a student , mother , wife , even a specific gender . When that role disappears , which nothing lasts forever , we feel we've lost our identity and it causes depression .
What I'm working on is letting go of my ego completely and one day I hope I have no self identity that way my mind always believes I can be or do anything I choose . Instead of my mind thinking I was born a certain way or in a certain role and I can't change my circumstances because , "that's just who I am"
What do you guys think about this perspective ?
I can empathize with you and tell you from experience that you will only grow from this and realize this is part of life. In some ways, you are like an athlete who gave of his/her self for years and was really good at that particular sport. But an injury occurs or you are just no longer good enough to compete. What do you do? You take those same competitive skills and desire to learn and grow and move on in life. You are way to young to see this...but this may happen to you 3-4 times in life....it's part of growing and overcoming ...I believe you will look back at this and smile.
Very wise words, thank you .
You are most welcome....
I've felt different identities in my life. Now, I'm 32. I'm Oregonian and live in Vietnam now teaching English. Some feelings and identities kind of come and go and rise and fall, but underneath them is the identity of my personality as Doctor Oatmeal, like a boy maybe, like an artist, a creative Harry Potter Picard Austin Powers Power Ranger Identity or something.
Wow ! what a change from OR to Vietnam. How exciting! I was born in Medford, OR
I think that you should hold on to a piece of that ego because it is part of who you are, however that doesn't mean you shouldn't try and really find yourself even if it is to let go of your ego. Self-identity I think is quite important but always keep in mind that your self-identity does not define you. Good luck to you in finding yourself you are beautiful, educated young woman with the world at her feet!!