What to do when kids losing their temper?

What to do when kids losing their temper?
-Book review of “How to Be the Parents You Always Wanted to Be” – Adele Faber

Parents often are facing the problem when kids losing their temper. Scold children may cause negative impact psychologically, but let them be may spoiled them. What is the right way to do then? Adele Faber, an education expert, in her book ‘How to be the parents you always wanted to be’ gives practiced suggestions how parents could do in the situation.
Here are some what I learnt that most help me out with some of my own thoughts to share with everyone here.
First, parents need to understand that kids are expressing their negative emotions when they lose their temper. Parents should accept their emotions. I call this step “pacing”. For example, telling them that keep playing video game and not finish their homework is not right, usually only make thing worse. The better way maybe to pace their feeling first. Like sitting beside your kids, and telling them that you are impressed how well they play, with some details, like “it is awesome jump and kicks combination you just made, how did you do that?” for example. By doing this, kids will feel the emotion be understood and accepted, to open their listening mood, instead of resisting.
What could parents do after that? Here is a list that I called “leading”

1. A new topic
   Let’s continue with the same example above, parents could tell your kids that “you know how to be the next level to play game? It is be the god in the game, like to write the codes to make yourself a super and unbiddable in the game, but you may need to pay more attention on math, for example.” As to lead the topic to something kids desired, will solve their negative emotion.
2. A wish list
   Instead of telling the reasons to your kids why they can’t have the toy they want, why not set up a wish list with them, and let know they could choose their favorite one in the special day, like their birthday or Christmas.
   There are a few benefits in this way.
   Firstly, they will take the choice more seriously, not just play with their new toy for a few hours, then leave it in the corner and never touch it again.
   Secondly, more importantly, it can train your kids how to make the choice, which will benefit them in their whole life. Learning how to eliminate unnecessary conditions, clarify the truth desires, not wasting time and energy on the thing does matter, or just show their friends they have the same toy, too.
   Third, not let kids think that they will get what they want if they cry to make their parents frustrated.
3. Open their mind
   For example, to explain why you can’t give the thing they want, still let kids focus on getting or not, or stay in the mood of why they can’t have the thing. Giving kids imaging to make them happy. Like a story in the book, Adele’s daughter doesn’t like their new home after moving. Instead of telling her daughter “we can’t go back”, she ask her daughter what her favorite room would look like, what they can do together to make the change. Her daughter walk out from the shadow and plan their to do list to change their new home and tell Adele she love her.