Kindergarten - pros and cons, my experience a week later
Hello dears! Last Monday my daughter went to kindergarten the first time (now she is 2.1 years old). The first three days she spent in kindergarten 2 hours, on Thursday - 3 and on Friday - 4. But on Friday evening she had a fever, the result - we got sick. Honestly, I was ready for that. The question of kindergarten was solved in our family for a long time, the essence is - "to give the child to kindergarten or not." During this time I discussed this topic with all my friends, whose children are already attending kindergarten. The decision of course remains with the parents, but it is always useful to listen to someone else's experience.
So, for myself, I have identified the pros and cons of kindergarten. Let's start with the pros:
Kindergarten teaches the child to communicate, to establish first contacts with peers. Kids from 2-3 years old begin to show an active interest in other children – first look closely, and then try to interact. Using the kindergarten to organize the child communicating with peers easier. The baby has first friends, he learns to respond to conflict situations, to act in a team, to find compromises.
Modern kindergartens have special rooms for games, music, sports and other activities.Children study, are engaged in creativity, dance and sing, with them speech therapists, teachers are engaged.
The kindergarten develop self-reliance. If at home the baby relies on his mother (father, grandmother), then in the kindergarten he is deprived of the opportunity to ask his relatives to do something for him. Willy-nilly, the child learns to act independently - to eat, to dress. Many mothers say, that it was the kindergarten, that helped their children master the potty or start talking better.
In the children's team, the baby's immune system undergoes a powerful attack, which trains him and makes him stronger. It is believed, that it's better to contract certain diseases in the kindergarten, for example, with chicken pox. Because in older age such diseases often occur with complications.
The kindergartens protect modern children from the influence of electronic gadgets.Here with children engaged, walk, provide opportunities for free play, while at home many children spend most of the day watching cartoons and games on the tablet. Kindergarten is often the only place, where the child is distracted from the screen.
Giving the child to kindergarten, the mother has the opportunity to go to work or do their own thing. This reason does not apply to the "pros" kindergarten for the child, but indirectly affects him. If the mom is angry at the baby for what he "gets in the way", " binds his hands", the baby is sure to feel. In this case, the admission of the child to kindergarten calms the woman and makes her more balanced and friendly towards the child. Of course, we should also mention mothers, who are unable to stay at home with a child – single mothers, widows, as well as women, who are in limited financial circumstances for one reason or another. In this case, the kindergarten becomes the only way out, even if the mother herself strives to be with the baby with all her heart.
Children get used to a clear daily routine, become more organized.
But apart from advantages, there are also disadvantages. Sometimes they are just the opposite.
The need for children's "socialization" is exaggerated. The child's need to communicate with peers, of course there. But is a closed group of children of the same age an ideal model of society for a small child? Dubiously. The first society for a child is his family, then friends of the family and only then, with the acquisition of experience and confidence, "stranger". No one will deny, that admission to kindergarten is a great stress for the baby.
The kindergarten can have a negative impact on the attachment between mother and child. Now there are many mothers, who do not know, what you can do at home with your child all day, convinced, that he needs constant entertainment and seeking to load the child to the maximum various circles and sections. Women find it hard to be close to their children, so they try to "attach" them somewhere. And children quickly get used to isolation from the family – not only from the mother, but also, for example, from younger brothers and sisters. If a child spends most of the day away from home, he will certainly learn to be part of the team. But ... family life remains for him something blurred and uncertain, which may well be reflected in the distant future.
Home education allows you to develop a child's true independence, because at home he does not have to obey the rules imposed. Mom helps the baby gradually expand its area of responsibility, deciding what clothes he wants to wear, what to play with, when to go for a walk, what to eat (or refuse to eat). In kindergarten, the baby only obeys – all decisions are made for him. He quickly gets used to such a model of relations, which does not involve equality, the ability to negotiate and seek compromises.
Frequent disease are an integral part of adaptation to kindergarten have majority toddlers. Immunity weakens not only because of being in a large crowd of people but also because of psychosomatic reasons. The child wants to be at home with his mother instead of going to kindergarten... and gets sick. "Week in kindergarten, month on sick leave" - a typical story, that can often be heard in the circle of mothers. Is this a necessary" hardening " for the immune system? The question is moot.
The kindergarten does not take into account the individual characteristic of a child. Kindergarten mode does not involve variability, it is simply impossible to organize. Biorhythms baby's changing day by day, as they depend on many factors: health, weather, mood, etc. And in the kindergarten mode is always the same, and no changes to it are not supposed to. Forcing" in time " to eat and sleep can even lead to problems with the nervous system.
The child can adopt behaviour, that are not accepted in the family. If the family does not accept physical abuse, aggression, use of rude words, but the child hears and sees this behavior every day in kindergarten, this behavior becomes the norm for him.
The kindergarten destroys individuality. Kindergarten teacher is more convenient, if children behave approximately the same, fulfill the necessary requirements, obey. In the garden for the child is often beneficial to be "like everyone else", and individuality is not encouraged. It happens, that teachers correct the child, if he wants to stick the application part differently, than it is prescribed by the instruction. In addition, in kindergarten kids begin to imitate each other, instead of free to develop, focusing primarily on loved ones.
Not all educators love children. For anybody not a secret, that in kindergarten there are different people working, there are many cases of cruel treatment with children. Kindergarten teachers may not necessarily be rude or irresponsible to children, but don't expect them to be tender with your child specifically.
When parents decide whether to give the child to the kindergarten, in my opinion, first of all it is necessary to take into account the interests of the child (if we are not talking about the forced measure). My opinion - it is necessary to try. Of course, during the adaptation period children cry and hard to part with her mother, but it passes. Even my daughter in the morning remains with tears, but when I come to take her home - does not want to leave. The most important thing is a good educator, who will give the child the necessary attention, prompt parents. It is undesirable to begin to attend the kindergarten during the period of stress for the child, moving, divorce of parents. In any case, it's never too late for you to stop taking the child to kindergarten, if the disadvantages for you exceed the pros. For me, the one of the main factors is disease. Many of my friends stopped taking the child to kindergarten for this reason - "a week in kindergarten - two weeks on sick leave." This is important to me, because my second child is only three months old and I'm afraid, he he might get sick too. My advice - focus on the child, choose a proven kindergarten (ask the opinion of mothers, whose children go to kindergarten), talk to the teacher, communicate with the child on whether he likes kindergarten. Our experience of visiting kindergartens is only a week, so it's too early to draw conclusions, but so far for me there are more pluses than minuses.
Thanks for reading!