Hey parents, have your kids failed at anything today?

I really hope the answer to that question is a resounding "YES"!

Hey parents, it is OK to let your kid "take the L" every once in a while.

I know I have been completely obsessed with writing about geeky things lately (Star Wars, The Avengers, more Star Wars...) but I am not just a geek. First and foremost, I'm a dad. Then I'm a husband. Then I'm a special educator. Today I'd like to hit on the third head of the Hydra that makes up hanshotfirst.

There has been something digging at me all year. Because I teach mainly high school freshman, this is the first time there has ever been any real academic pressure on them. Although my students may have taken some challenging classes in junior high, there always seemed to be a safety net hung directly below them every step of the way. In fact, it seems like these kids have spent their entire lives with a safety net, harness, helmet, and a suit made of bubble wrap. I am beginning to think that my students have never actually failed at anything they have ever attempted.

Is it because I happen to have a classroom filled with the only perfect human beings on Earth?

Heck no!

It is because their parents have never let them fail. It seems that too many modern parents are spending an incredible amount of time and energy moving obstacles out of their children's way. A friend of mine who teaches grade school told me this is referred to as "snow plow parenting". The second a challenge presents itself, the parent swoops in move that blockage and change the environment.

That may very well lead to a few less tears and a lot less frustration... but I cannot possibly think of anything that could stunt a person's emotional, physical or academic growth more than this. The real world does not work that way.

The only way humans become stronger at anything is by taking on a challenge and doing more than they have previously done. People grow by overcoming obstacles, not avoiding them. Most importantly, they don't learn from instantly succeeding in overcoming an obstacle. If that is the case, it isn't much of an obstacle is it?

If you don't believe me, all you need to do is look to Star Wars. It seems to have the answers for everything (at least in my house).

I know I am not an expert on child psychology, but sometimes I think common sense should lead the way. Kids need to fail now when they still have safety nets... called "parents" (who will feed and clothe them). If they don't learn now, when will they learn?

Parents have the power to remove every obstacle in their children's way... until they get a job. For 99% of us, parents will never trump our children's new boss. That boss is not going to allow obstacles to be removed. Heck they are paying to have those obstacles overcome.

Kids need to learn that a failure is not the end of the world. It is merely the beginning of a process that ends in their becoming more powerful.

All of our kids are going to fail at some point. If parents have spent so much time and effort putting off the inevitable, they may find that when there is something real on the line, their kids have no idea how to face a challenge. They will look for the snowplow... and get a pink slip instead.

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