Education: How does the adolescent's self-concept influence his orientation towards success or failure?
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Introduction
Dear reader, we must recognize at all times that the concept we have of ourselves is always related to the orientation towards success or failure. The projects or work we do (for example, school or professional tasks) we start with the idea that everything will turn out well (oriented towards success) or with the certainty of a safe disaster (oriented towards failure). These expectations are intimately linked to self-concept. That is, the subject with a healthy self-concept tends to succeed, while the person with a poor self-concept tends to fail.
In the specific case of adolescents, they are subject to this principle in a particularly intense way due to the vulnerability of their self-esteem. Therefore, it is essential that the adult world assume the responsibility of fostering young people's self-esteem; Because his academic, professional and social success depends on it.
Associated with this concept, we find what is technically called "externalism", to explain the successes or failures in internal or external terms. In this way, there are young people who think that if they get good results it is by luck or by chance. While others attribute it to their own capacity. And if they fail, the former are convinced that the fault is theirs alone. But the latter explain it in terms of adverse circumstances, even when they also recognize their personal limitations.
Consider this, dear reader, there is always a combination of factors; But, in general terms, people with healthy self-esteem tend to be responsible for their successes and explain their failures based on situations that are beyond their personal control.
Only with a balanced self-concept can the adolescent consider his personal gifts and possibilities as motors, in large measure, at least, of success. Similarly, a healthy self-esteem will allow a realistic assessment of the circumstances with their advantages and disadvantages.
The social environment of young people exerts a great influence on self-concept and, ultimately, on its success or failure. Parents of adolescents have a clear possibility of enriching this important aspect of their children's personality. Here we will share some useful tips:
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* Openly recognizes the positive.
Adolescents value the opinion of their parents. The best way to reaffirm the qualities and values of children is sincere praise for a well-done task or exemplary behavior. To have the best effect, this recognition must be concrete and specific and not too global. For example, it is much more convenient to say: "I really liked that yesterday you asked your sister for forgiveness and that you were interested in her ...", that to say: "You are a wonderful son ..." Some people think that if Children of praise abuse can fall into vanity and pride. However, studies show that the risk of falling into negativism is even greater. Therefore, many experts recommend that for each message of repression, the teenager receives four of recognition.
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* Use words of encouragement.
Unlike praise, the stimulus can be offered at any time. This type of message offers confidence, certainty in success: "You can ... you will see how you get it ... you are capable of doing it". Friend reader of the chain of blocks, these messages, when they are sincere, not only serve to improve self-esteem, but also to foster the relationship between parents and children.
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* Do not overlook negative self-evaluations.
Remember that a normal reaction of the adolescent prone to inferiority is an unfounded self-criticism. So, for example, it will say: "That girl is too pretty to accept me", or "I'm clumsy and I'm not worthy to study", or "I do not serve for sports ..." When, in one way or another, These messages are repeated, parents should remind children that these statements ruin self-esteem and that there are ways to improve and discover the talents one has.
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* Accept young people as they are.
Often, the goals and expectations of parents do not match those of the children. This situation causes the young person to find himself in a dilemma: to satisfy the father and, at the same time, his own pretensions. I will tell you, in this case, a young man whose father always wanted him to study a prestigious university career. He resisted since adolescence and did not want to continue studying. He found a job in sales, from which he obtained many satisfactions. However, the father systematically showed his displeasure for years. Despite his professional success, the young man suffered for a long time a feeling of failure and inferiority for not having fulfilled his father's expectations. A basic goal of parents should be to accept their children unconditionally.
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Although sometimes they seem to reject it, adolescents need, and at the end they are grateful, that their parents show affection and confidence, and that they express it with their attitudes and gestures, as well as with words.
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