How do we help children face their fears?
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The fears are evolutionary and develop according to age and have an influence on emotions. Children should be taught to identify emotions, to name them, because each human being has the emotional and rational part, which facilitates the integration of these two parts.
Emotions are easier to experience when they know what they are, like fear, allergy, anger, sadness, because sometimes they get confused, they cover sadness with anger, anger with fear and they do not have fun, but having good or bad emotions should be enjoyed. It is what we must instill in children.
As cognitive abilities evolve, social skills, fear can grow and by not guiding children, they can create a misconception of what the world is.
It is not specified in fear, but emotions are like a thermostat, which gives reference if it can move forward or if it has to stop. Fear is just that, from the context and if you are connected or more aware of what happens in us and the feelings that cause fear, you can make decisions that have unpleasant experiences, because they suppose a state of alert.
How to realize that it is a normal fear according to the evolutionary development or that it is a phobia?
When they begin to see alterations in their way of relating to others, in the way of carrying out daily activities, especially those that they like, that from one moment to another do not want to do so, since there is some insecurity. It is possible that what made them happy to attend school, suddenly, does not allow them to be closer because they are afraid, at that moment we must be alert, because something is happening, it is necessary to identify and find a solution.
Appropriate form in which the child can understand that we are listening to him and that we understand his fear and frustration
Fear often paralyzes, and does not let out words to expose it and say what is happening.
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Not all children express themselves in the same way, so to verbalize what is happening you must know them well and respect that not everything that happens to them has to be told. In the case of parents you can not pretend to play the role of friend, because there is an impressive generational difference and also because you can not be a judge and part of your life; that there must be confidence clearly that is essential and should even be solidified, but they are not the only adults that figure in their environment, so we must give the opportunity to those relations of friendship establish them with their teacher, becoming more communicative.
You can investigate the situation without forcing, asking questions in a kind and sympathetic tone, for example:
❖ I realize that you do not want to play anymore, why?
❖ When I ask you to bring something, you do not want to go alone.
❖ Sometimes I realize that you are worried about certain things, are you afraid?
Maybe the child shares it, because he feels confident and wants to talk with another person. But there is no need to underestimate or think that they do not have the capacity to assume.
It is important to know that fear can not be ignored, and something that should never be done is to laugh or make fun of fear, of the feeling that the other person feels.
Example of fears:
❖ How is it possible that you are afraid of that ant?
❖ Why do you fear the bird, if it is small?
Children have another conception of things and imagination is on their side, something could have impacted them and they have it in their memories.
Demystifying that emotions are neither bad nor good, therefore, can not make the child think that in doing so, experiencing fear, trust and security will be subtracted, on the contrary, as tools for children to identify their emotions and resolve them in their favor, to that extent, gain security and confidence makes them move forward. This does not mean that all fear disappears, as they are renewed throughout life, are evolutionary and are given in proportion to the ages and circumstances.
What fear can be diminished?
Those that are rational, those that are generated from anxiety, but these can be worked.
Contrary to unknown situations, to that fears you can not say that you will not be afraid of them.
Each person is a world, each person is totally different and in their individuality they have different perceptions, so we do not know what form the child assumes the fear, for this reason we must work to help them face them.
Techniques to face fear through breathing
As we grow up and disorganize ourselves into a habit, we breathe with less capacity, cutting off our breathing, and it is important to practice it in daily life, not just expect that at the moment the situation is found, you will have the ability to breathe. In the case of the child, if you are not used to that, we should allow you to experience the sensation of breathing deeply and consciously, so that it does not cost you work.
The technique of breathing through the flower: it is the child who blows the flower and inhales its aroma.
It is normal to say to a child: breathe, but very different is to find the way in which he can feel that emotion.
This will allow them when they are in a situation of fear or any other that is euphoric, they can breathe calmly and calm down more quickly, so they do not feel forced. When they are calm, they feel more oxygen, having pleasure in the body.
How we program children to be brave
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Fear in the child is normal, in human behavior it appears as a need to survive, since it is a primary emotion. But when it starts to pathologize it would no longer be a primary but secondary, generating anxiety and not be fear.
Understood between zero and two years of age, what is out of the ordinary, the abstract can cause fear.
You have to create connections and a lot of security, how we achieve this:
❖ Hugging them.
❖ Looking at them in the eyes.
❖ Singing to find safety.
❖ Telling them a story.
At the age of three to seven years, the fears become stronger and include the following:
❖ Monsters.
❖ Clowns.
❖ Masks of characters.
Because they still do not understand what is real and what is not. To help them overcome their fears, one can put into practice:
❖ Understand them.
❖ Support them.
The adult should tell him that as a child he was also afraid, so that he feels confident to say what he feels, avoiding saying: you should not fear, you are a big child, these fears should be faced gradually.
For example:
If you are afraid of a dog, help them see why, telling them: observe how the tail moves, the head, how sweet it looks, the dog is happy and that's why it behaves like that. You must never force the child, you have to know how to talk to him.
In the age of seven to twelve years, which is the school age, the fears are stronger, we must be attentive to help them face them.
Example of fear in these ages, natural terrors such as:
❖ Hurricanes.
Consequences of the future, which are more real and not so abstract.
We must ask the children: What do we learn in school about them? So that we can get out of the fear situation and see it in a more tangible and positive way.
Another way to approach and help is to draw a positive and negative situation. The child must have a relationship so that he can express himself easily.
http://carmenl.vornix.blog/2018/10/20/how-do-we-help-children-face-their-fears/
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