What does it mean to own your emotions? ecotrain question of the week

What does it mean to own our emotions?

We all have emotions. Sooo many emotions. The flower shows us a few.
Sometimes it is as if that is the only thing we live for, to experience emotions.
It's like they are a current that is created in the interaction between our spirit and our physicality.

Sometimes I wonder if they are just meant to pass through us, while we do nothing but witness them, exactly like clouds, created in the interaction between the earth and the sun, or if we are supposed to make sense of them and act upon them.

The thing is, it seems almost impossible not to try to make sense of our emotions and to act on them. So while the inevitable is happening and our thoughts and actions are influenced by our feelings, I think we might as well become aware of this force that drives us.
Our mysterious emotions, which nobody told us a lot about, because they seemed kind of impractical or even shameful to a lot of people in our patriarchic culture. Some may even have thought that it might drive one crazy to be too much interfering with ones emotions. Others may even have felt that emotions were of a 'lower order', from a spiritual point of view and that focussing your attention on them might 'lower' your vibration. There are many variations on the condeming of our emotions to a place where the light of our awareness does not reach.

All these ideas have kept us in the dark about what we feel, and connected to that, what we desire and what we want to avoid. Creating all kinds of subconscious scenario's where suppressed emotions actually 'rule' from the blind spot, having total free range because nobody is there to supervise.

Another thing that happens is that our own desires and boundaries, when they are not respected and seen by us, start to show up on the faces of other people. This may sound weird but what I mean to say is this: Suppose you are feeling you need time for your self, but you judge that desire because there seem to be so many people around you in need of your care and attention and you have been taught to sacrifice your own needs for other people, because not doing so would make you a selfish person. Then, when you meet someone who takes time for themselves, but you need them for something and they are not willing to help out, because they are taking time for themselves, then your judgement will surface. Not just any judgement. The judgement that lives inside yourself that your parents have taught you and that keeps you from taking time for your self, because otherwise you would be called a 'selfish person' That judgement comes out and you call the other person 'selfish'. This is a very indirect and I would say inefficient way of dealing with your emotions.
Hopes would be that the other person doesn't start taking this personally and starts feeling like they should feel ashamed of their desire to take time for themselves too. Hopes would be that the other person can see that projection is going on and that the person that just called them selfish is actually in need of some personal time themselves but is not brave enough yet to OWN their emotions and value their desires.
Honesty and openness about it all without shaming and blaming each other for our needs and boundaries would leave us all more fulfilled I think. And less upset with each other because the awful feeling of resentment would not have to arise in any of us.

Resentment only comes up when we are not taking responsability for the fulfilment of our own desires and the protection of our own boundaries.
If we live our lives under the reign of taboo of what we realy feel, want and don't want, then we can not take responsability. We can not be in charge without full acceptance of our emotions. As soon as we push them away our emotions will start being in charge.

Owning our emotions means:

Becoming acquinted with them. The full range, the sweet, the harmless, the sad, the scared but also the angry, the wild, unpredictable, impractical and embarasing emotions.
Do this in a safe place. Some are shy to come out as they have been hiding for a long time. Treat them like children, talk to them like you would talk to a loved one, trying to understand what it is that they need, knowing that in essence they are life affirming energies. They are allies, not enemies, eventhough some may be a little harder to recognise as a friend then others as they have become distorted a long the way. A way that may have been really hard for them as they may have been suppressed and judged by you as if your life depended on it. Don't worry if this was the case, you didn't know any better as you had been taught by people who were also in the dark about their emotions. Forgive your self and start with a clean slate by greeting each emotion that comes up, as if it is a visitor that passes by your house for a cup of tea.

You will see that it will become warm inside of you. Your emotions wil flow and colour your life. You might still get a scare from time to time with a hysterical emotions showing up at your doorstep when it is not convenient, but when you tell it to come back at a time that you can realy listen to it, it will most likely retreat if there is enough build up trust that you will keep your word.

They are good companions to have, treat them with respect. They have also been given to you by the Great One to be guides on your way.

Lot of love Undrach Clara

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