WHAT IS MY VALUE NOW THAT I AM A MOTHER?
"Any woman can be a mother, but not ever woman can be successful"
That was what I heard growing up, because in order to be really happy and succeed in life you had to have a career.
Why would you want to become a mum, it would mean the end of all your freedom and your dreams and anyone who had children early were seen as failures.
When I was younger I knew I would one day want to be a mother, but it was something I kept to myself. It was a time when all you heard, was how women fought so long and so hard in order for us to finally be able to have rights, to be seen as equals. How could any one girl want to go against that. So I grew up believing that women’s rights were all about equality, being treated exactly the same as men, having the same privileges, getting the same pay. That women's rights were based around taking them way from the home and liberating them. As a teenager that all sounded so exciting, because why would any woman want to spend their time at home when they could be free.
How did we get to this point, where women were and still are valued by their contributions to the workforce. That when we talk about empowered women in society we see this:
From a young age, girls are told to reach for the stars, that they can do whatever they want. They are pushed to do well in school, to study hard to aim for university and high paid jobs. They are told that they can do the same as any boy and that they can have the same success. Yet they are not being told about one of the most rewarding and challenging things that they can do, (if they choose to of course) motherhood. Young people are being taught that there is no value in being a mother. It's as if society wants to ignore the fact that women become mothers. That by becoming a mother you lose your power as a woman.
Surely educating young people about the importance of being parents is what matters. Surely raising the future generations to be confident, loving and aware is what matters the most. Yet when a mother decides to stay at home to raise her children, people feel sorry for her, like she is losing out, wasting her talents or else they feel she is lazy. I am not saying that women, mothers should not work, that is a very personal choice that only a woman can and should make. But what is society teaching our children when powerful, successful women are always portrayed as having a career.
For me, I tapped into my power when I was pregnant, I realized that all the feminist ideas, all these womens rights and equality, that were fought for, were missing out on what it really means to be a women.
Whether you have children or not, we woman are nurturers. We create life, ideas and we nurture them, watch them, guide them as they grow. This is what society needs the most today.
Source: http://motherhoodinpointoffact.com
I chose to be a stay at home mum, for me that is the greatest thing I can do for my children. And if I'm being honest it's also the greatest thing for me too. I realize that I am very lucky that I can do this. I get to see my daughters grow up, I get to watch how excited they are when the figure things out for themselves and we all get to learn together.
So what is my value now that I am a mother?
In society not much, but you know what I don't care!
For me this is the highest value, be what you are!
thank you @bubke
I am on bed right now and had decided not to read anything and just sleep 5 mins ago anfthrnei just picked up my phone and opened up Steemit on it. Saw ur article in my feed and the title just forced me you're read it and I am so glad I did. A few years ago I honesty thought that being a mother was something ordinary and that to have a career was a more important thing to do. Only after becoming a mother and then realizing all the amazing things I can do as a mother of my child did I became truly aware of my power. I now have the power to raise a kid which if I do right and to the best of my abilities can shape the future of this world. Also I realized how strange and silly many of the beliefs being taught by the society are and how important it is to break them. Thank you for this amazing post!
Thank you @sharoonyasir, the most important thing we can do is raise the next generation x
Be the next generation :-). Instead of putting hopes that one day you will be proud that you raised the next generation, let your children be proud because you were the next generation, fulfill the hope of your parents by being yourself the next generation. On a side note, i think you are the next generation :-)
thats true.
And then the next generation is some next, next level stuff.
Where is the 💓 button?? As a stay at home Mom I have gotten so many negative comments. Raising future generations is the most important job there is...you're right, in our current society deciding to give up a career and stay home is seen as being weak. I feel it is a real injustice to our society as a whole. Great post.
you've summed it up really well. Thanks @llfarms x
I have been a SAHM for seven years now and a proud feminist for most of my life! To me feminism is about having the same opportunities as anyone else but also free to make your choices! I have always found the feminists (in my circle) to be very supportive and inclusive.
We might live a very frugal life here but for me its the best decision I ever made.I completely agree that women who stay at home to raise their children are undervalued in society.
Hey @charlied79, things are definitely changing and my friends are the same, aware and supportive. in society though powerful women are usually seen as business women and success is seen by the wealth you have earned in your career. For me, when I was growing up that was the only feminism I heard of, but now as you have said, the real feminism is being free to make your own choices. Thank you.
Yes, I couldn't have said it any better! Parenting (mother and/or father) is the most important job there is. But this has been put on the side-lines and all done to divide us further. Anything out of the 'ordinary' that people like us do in the best interest of our families can be frowned upon. Subjects like being a stay at home mom, or homeschooling, or extended breastfeeding, co-sleeping...all these are considered wrong, while it is proven time and time again that it is best for our children. Speaking of breastfeeding..the town I used to live in had NO women who breastfed their children. Not even the doctor...I've met maybe 2 who did...
So true @misslasvegas, the over all well being of all people is not the priority in today's society, why would they want us to be confident and strong, and have our own opinions. They want us submissive and weaken in mind and body. Attachment parenting is a threat to society.
Yes there is truth in what you're saying. I feel I have a full job as a mother that takes all my time, particularly as a single mother. Why am i not valued for this? Why do I have to worry about my self worth? Why do I have to answer questions like " but what do you do all day?"
Financially, I cannot afford to be only a mother. So I scrimp around trying to find work that fits in around my kids. As women we are expected to be so much, nurturer, breadwinner, creative person, blogger...how many hours are there in the day? Motherhood should not be bypassed. Are we going to wake up one day, look at what are children have become and wished we'd just been able to give them more time growing up?
This is seriously my hot button issue right now. It's a big part of my whole obsession with smashing the patriarchy. The feminine is so incredibly valuable and integral to balance in our culture, which we clearly have not achieved. It was a big piece of my irritation when Wonder Woman came out, and everyone was on and on about what a victory for feminism. I'm really ready for a woman to be a hero for caring and nurturing as opposed to being a warrior. I'm happy for women to be whatever they please, but I'd love to see the world appreciate and therefore benefit from the feminine. I'm with you in believing that being a mom is incredibly valuable and worthy of my full time attention.
I hear you and agree with everything you say, we are so out of balance today. Women are being told they need to be more like men in order to be respected. women instead of supporting one another turn their noses up and bitch about one another. Suddenly how we look on the outside is so much more important than how we feel in the inside. The most empowering thing we do, birth is being taken from us and now we no longer have the right to choose how we raise our children. I could go on and on. Thank you for your words supermama x
Oh yes, all of this. I'm feeling more and more on the verge of bursting. Thank you for your words too. The only way to shift it is to keep speaking up.
this is such an important point! in feminism, we are not seeking to forsake our womanness and "do everything men do, and do it better"... but to embrace the feminine aspects that have been forsaken and degraded for so long. embrace nurturance.... and creation.. and the tending of that creation. i think motherhood is such a beautiful profession <3 great article! <3
i agree it's the most important role we have in every respect from birthing our children to our ideas. thank you @mountainjewel
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