What was one of the happiest times of my life, and what made it special?

This @ecotrain question of the week has all of us headed for the way back machine. It's also a great opportunity to shift focus away from all the chaos that has been happening. If we want to create a beautiful and joyful life, it definitely helps to focus on beautiful things that bring us joy. Having a touchstone, particularly an emotional touchstone, is probably more helpful than just about anything else in creating the life we want.

Sometimes I do loose interpretations of these questions, but I wanted to be more precise with this one. So, while there's no doubt the days my four children were born were my happiest days, all of those times were pretty challenging. Mostly because I just seem to have horrible taste in men. I decided I wanted to focus on a span of time where I was happy most of the time. Many of you know my first trip to Belize was one of those, but I've talked a lot about that. So, I want to talk about a different time.

I really loved staffing at Katuah Sudbury School. It was fun and meaningful, and I felt it was a true blessing to the Asheville community. It also gave me the opportunity to meet and befriend some incredibly interesting and beautiful humans. I have lifelong friends from that adventure.

One afternoon a new parent arrived, and my daughter plopped down in front of her asking for her shoes to be tied. This mama took one look in my girl’s bright blue eyes and knew she had met her before. We soon realized we had crossed paths years before at the Twin Oaks Women’s Gathering. It was sort of a magical occurrence. Which made sense because she brought magic to my life. From my first visit to her house, we were fast friends. While friendship on its own is wonderful, it was what she taught me that made this the happiest time of my life.

I truly and finally really learned that I am responsible for my own happiness, and it is no small task to take up. It requires diligence. We spent hours walking in rivers and singing songs, coloring, writing lists of appreciation, climbing trees, walking on railroad tracks, watching goofy videos, drinking tequila, and dancing and more dancing.

I learned to focus on what I wanted, and I focused myself right out of a very miserable 7.5 year relationship. I focused on loving myself. I focused on staying joyful no matter what. I ate whatever I wanted, and within the constraints of single mom of two young children, I did whatever I wanted too. I dated a for real wild man (he once superglued a piece of his ear back on when it got sliced off in a bar brawl). I sold my house, quit my job, and went on vacation, at which point I made the decision to move to Belize. I lost 40-50 lbs even though I was mostly eating doughnuts and bacon. I was ultra focused on my own happiness. Then I manifested an extraordinary love affair with probably the most wonderful guy I have ever dated.

That bliss lasted through the dissolving of the move-to-Belize dream (it would be another 5 years before I could actually move). It lasted through living in a redneck hell hole in a trailer in an unbearably hot summer. It lasted through being homeless and having to live with friends. It lasted through having to go back to the real world and get a j-o-b. Then it came crashing down with the end of the love affair. Sometimes you can't hold on, and that's ok. Honestly, I've been pretty sunk ever since, but I'm on my way back up. I can see my earthbag house overlooking the marsh. I can see my kids and grandkids coming and going. I can see my beautiful cob bathtub. I can see all the travel and adventures ahead of me. I can feel new friends and lovers coming. I can taste new foods and beers. I can feel my kids’ excitement at exploring new places. I can feel the sweet resonance of coming home. And that's what it takes. It takes staying focused on what excites you and taking action to do the things you love. It takes tossing away the things that are holding you back. I stayed extraordinarily happy for more than a year and a half. You can't just decide to be happy. You have to commit to it.

Much love, y’all!

As always, all pics are mine or pixabay unless otherwise noted.

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