Firewalk and Vision Quest have been two of the most powerful experiences of my life. Up there with giving birth in fact. I think it’s important, though, to begin with a few words about what I think cultural appropriation is. Ending systemic racism is incredibly important to me. Recognizing the damages of colonialism is crucial if we are to ever move forward. In fact these are connected to oppression of women and children as well. I don’t take these things lightly. I know white privilege is real. I believe in Black Lives Matter. I know water is life and believe Native people need to have full dominion over their lands and their watersheds and other resources.

I also believe cultural appropriation is a problem, and I don’t think I get to decide where the lines are. The oppressed must draw those lines. I believe the lines will change as we put an end to systemic racism. For the time being we (white people in particular) need to be sensitive about this. That said, I do have opinions about what I believe to be outside that realm. I believe spirituality mostly falls into that category. People talking tritely about spirit animals that they wear on a t-shirt is a problem. It is a grotesque prostituting of the sacred. I see people genuinely interested in traditional native ceremony as a solution. I know not every native person agrees with my assessment. I know there are some who believe non native people should not be allowed to participate in ceremony. I have heard other native people say to me that no one needs native ceremony more than white people do. I am always open to deeper levels of this conversation. I still don’t think the internet is the place to discuss details of ceremonies, so I will mostly be sharing my own experiences and feelings.

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My experiences with ceremony have been incredibly profound. They have each time changed me greatly. The effect of all the experiences together totally and completely changed my life. I learned what gratitude really means, what power really is, and what it is to pray. I believe I love sweat lodge the most. I love being brought to my edges. I love being in the womb of mother earth. I love pouring all the toxins from my body as well as my heart. I love pouring forth my prayers for myself, my family, my community, and this planet as I am unburdened, melted, brought to my knees. I love feeling cleansed and renewed.

As far as radical life altering, firewalk and vision quest changed me powerfully and in one fell swoop.

Firewalk

As I mentioned, I am not going to go into a lot of details about the ceremonies. We never took any pictures at ceremony, so these will all be sourced, though I don’t feel super fantastic about other people doing it either.

Source

The fire has it’s own life. It is an entity and trying to battle that entity is not wise. Fire is an important part of almost all ceremonies - pipe ceremony, sweat lodge, firewalk, and vision quest. Respect for the fire is of the utmost importance and perhaps never more important than in firewalk. The fire is our teacher, and we always have to ask its permission to work with it and for it to bless us with its teachings.

In a way, it is perhaps the simplest ceremony. The fire burns long and hot. When it’s time, the coals are spread out. You ask permission, and you walk. Or not. The power of the mind, the power of God, the power of the human body. You can call it the power of Larry Joe if it makes you happy. There is a power, and nothing at all that we understand with our tiny brains even touches it. There is absolutely no reason that I should not have gotten 3rd degree burns all over the bottom of both feet. It was so thrilling I did it twice.

The most powerful thing I learned from this experience is that I can never again tell myself there is anything I can’t do. I walked on coals in excess of 1000 degrees. I didn’t wet my feet or put anything weird on them to protect it. Friends, that shit is magic. And that magic is all around us. At our finger tips. Every single day of our lives.

Vision Quest

This is a longer ceremony. In fact it involves many months of spiritual and mental preparation. Not only do those who are going up to quest have to prepare, the community must prepare to care for them. In fact, I see vision quest as a community ceremony. The quester prays for a vision for the whole community. Of course a vision is also often personal, but in my experience it is always about blessing the whole community.

For four days and four nights the community comes together to pray and play around the fire in support of the questers. For those same four days and four nights the questers sit alone on the mountain, surrounded only by their prayers. No shelter, no food, no water. I’ve known of people who took nothing but a bear skin. I took a backpack with a few things. As the quester prays, the community eats and drinks for them. They send their energy to the quester. And they keep the fire burning. And on the trails of the smoke and the web of grandmother spider, the prayers make their way to the questers to protect them.

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It’s an odd feeling to actually genuinely have nothing to do. I had two young children when I quested. I hadn’t had a quiet moment in ages. No kids. No cleaning. No cooking. No dishes. I was pretty befuddled by this. I didn’t just sit and pray the whole time. I thought. I tried to hide from the rain. No joke, it started raining on the afternoon of the first day and didn’t stop until the last night. I am told the community fire was floating at times. Even now it brings tears to my eyes to know those proud warriors stood guard over that fire all through the rain. When I felt hungry, I called to my community. When I felt scared, I called to my community. When I was thirsty, I called to my community. I lit candles when I could, and I prayed often. I asked God to offer me a way I could be a blessing to my community.

Without question I was weak by the end, but I was in far better shape than I “should” have been. I carried my pack down, which weighed a whole lot more than it had going up since everything was soaking wet. My wool medicine blanket saved my life in all that rain, but it sure was heavy walking down the mountain.

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I received my vision on the last day. I was beginning to worry that I wasn’t going to get a vision. Then it came. “Your mission is to assist people through the paradigm shift.” It took some years to help unpack what that meant, but basically I am here to be a bridge for people going through massive changes in their worldview, particularly as it relates to parenting. I am here to change the world by changing how we parent our children, indeed how we treat our children. In the past I haven’t shared the vision with too many people, but I think it’s time.

Perhaps just as importantly, I learned that we are all one. Now I know that sounds awfully trite. It’s not. Because we are. There is no separation. When I asked them to eat for me, I felt filled. At one point I got heartburn. When I got down the mountain, I learned that on that afternoon, someone had let my kids gorge themselves silly on chocolate because “mommy loves chocolate.” We can heal each other because we’re all just a piece of the one, drops in the infinite divine sea.

Still sometimes I forget. I hope you enjoyed this because it was good for me to remember again. I love you, my steemit fam!

As always, all pics are mine or pixabay unless otherwise noted.

I’m a passenger on the @ecotrain, as well as a member of @teamgirlpowa and @steemitmamas. All three are worth taking a look at, and all three are on discord.