The Value of Sharing our Struggles

It's so easy to pick on social media. It’s always nice to have a convenient place to lay the blame for all of society’s ills. It used to be video games that were responsible for all our darkness. Now social media is the great evil. Of course everything in excess can be a bad idea. However, most of our ills are a reflection of us, rather than some external something.

One of the bigger complaints about social media is that people are showing their highlight reels. Everyone shows the happy pictures, the clean room, the finished project, the sweet kid, the awesome vacation, and the new outfit (at an angle that makes us look sexy).

This causes problems. People don't really know each other. We have “Facebook friends.” It's easy to delude yourself into thinking other people's lives are really like this. When you compare it to your own life, it can get rather depressing. Why do others seem to have their shit together?!

Then we turn around and do it too. Who wants to post a picture of the dirty laundry pile? Or the clean laundry pile? A sink full of dirty dishes? What about the stove top? Maybe an artistic looking pile of Legos or a picture of your face right after you step on the stray one while trying not to wake the children but silently putting curses on them. You could share an amazing action shot of your half clothed, dirty children trying to beat on each other! What about the room of half finished projects you keep having to put on hold.

This is not a new phenomenon. In the 1950’s suicide among women peaked. Why? Between magazines and tv shows, women got the message they should all love being homemakers and mothers. They got the message that they were to serve their husbands and children and never ask for a thing for themselves. They got the message that refrigerators, washing machines, and vacuums should be enough to make them perfectly blissful. Of course some women loved it, but others were terribly unhappy. They thought there was something wrong with them. They thought they were failures. And they often thought they were the only ones. So they killed themselves in shame. That is happening right now too.

Truthfully, no one is having a perfect life. We are all struggling sometimes. We all feel like shit sometimes. We are all gross on occasion. Our kids are all assholes sometimes. We need to share our struggles. We need to share when we feel like we are totally failing. When we share that, we all get to see we are not alone. Suddenly we feel supported. We feel solidarity and kinship, and we have people we can go to to help us move through and shift what we are feeling.

Most importantly, we all get to help and learn from each other about how to rise up and transform our struggles.

Much love, y’all!

As always, all pics are mine or pixabay unless otherwise noted.

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